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CBN.com Sylvia Glover: I remember being a little girl just lost, hurting, and wanting to be accepted. I would walk the streets like this, hang out, party, do drugs and think that life was wonderful...
Kristi Watts: What was your drug of choice?
Sylvia: I started out with marijuana, but then cocaine became the drug of choice. That was like the “in” thing to do. I dated drug dealers, so that was always easily available to me. I never had to worry about it… One time I had what you call a “whooler”, which is marijuana mixed with crack cocaine. Things started spinning around, and I prayed, believe it or not. I said, “God, if you get me off of this high, I will serve You. I’ll become a nun.” I didn’t know what serving Him was. He got me off of that high, and I didn’t serve him.
Kristi: How would you first describe your childhood?
Sylvia: Nothing I did was ever good enough. I continued to seek approval, and I never got it. I think as a little girl you always want to know that your daddy loves you and that he’ll do anything for you. I never felt that. I think the major things that a father is supposed to provide, which are identity, security and provision, he never really did that. I felt if my father doesn’t love me than why would anyone love me?
Because I was very insecure, without alcohol I couldn’t function. There was like a metamorphosis that took place, and I became the life of the party. Telling jokes, dancing all night… I became something that I wasn’t, and I enjoyed that.
My boss at the time became my friend, and I never really understood why because we were like totally opposites. I had long dreadlocks. I used to curse like a sailor. She would talk about her weekend and church. Everything was “Praise the Lord.” And I’m like, “’Praise the Lord’? What is that?”
She’d ask me, “What did you do?” “Oh, I hung out. I met this guy. He’s like a drug dealer, and we did this and that.” I didn’t understand why she was my friend, but I noticed in her a peace. You really can’t even describe it. She was always happy.
I was so negative, so depressed, so down, and just needing drugs. I remember thinking [about my friend], Wow, what kind of drug are you on? Maybe I need to try that one because I didn’t think that it was possible for anyone to be that happy.
She began to tell me about Jesus, and that it wasn’t a drug. She had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and I didn’t want to hear it.
When my friend began to invite me to church, I thought that if I walked into the building, the building would collapse.
Kristi: Why did you think the building would collapse?
Sylvia: I thought because God was so holy, that because of all the things that I had done, I wouldn’t be accepted.
Kristi: So what took you to that point where you said, “Ok, I’m going to take this woman at face value, and I’m going to hear about her Jesus?”
Sylvia: After this boyfriend got out of jail, he started seeing someone else, and I was devastated. I didn’t know this at the time but she had begun to pray for me. I think, because of her praying, my heart was ripe, and I was open to receive.
I remember walking into the building, and before I even got into the sanctuary, I felt like the thing that I had searched for all my life was [there]. I had finally found it.
Kristi: Can you describe what the “it” was?
Sylvia: The love, the acceptance… I had searched for love all of my life. I think that’s why I dated these drug dealers because they had accepted me.
It was like God was saying, “I know that you’re here. You think the building is going to collapse? I’ve orchestrated this entire meeting because you’re here.” And the love of God is what I needed to hear.
God was saying, “I know all of those things, but I love you. All those things, the identity, the provision, and the security that you sought from your Dad… I’m going to be your dad, and I’m going to give you that and so much more.”
I knew that I had had an encounter with Jesus and that I was saved.
Kristi: How would you describe the journey from that moment that you took that courageous step to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior to the woman and the person that you are now?
Sylvia: Well, I now know that there’s a purpose for my life. I’m not just living aimlessly. God has a plan for my life and that He saved me.
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