Danielle Williams: A Porn Star's Pain
By Dory Nissen
The 700 Club
CBN.com - “I started to hate men at this time because every time I was hurt it came from a man.”
Danielle Williams believed she had good reason to hate men. It began when a daycare provider’s son repeatedly molested her starting at 8 years old.
“He instilled that fear, ‘If you tell this is what’s going to happen to you.’ He would hit me. He would physically abuse me. I was scared of him and I thought, ‘Well if I tell then I’ll get into trouble’. So I didn’t say anything.”
She lived with her father after her parents divorced and she watched him routinely beat every girlfriend he had. He eventually turned that rage on Danielle, adding him to the list of men she hated.
He picked me up by my throat and he lifted me up and threw me down to the floor. He beat me so much that I passed out.
Danielle’s father went to jail for child abuse and she went to live with her mother in Los Angeles. There, a man in the neighborhood began to invite a young Danielle over to his house. She loved the attention from him, until the day he raped her.
“I knew I hated men even more. Even more. Cause now I’m 12 years old and I had already been molested at 8. My dad tried to kill me when I was 10, and now this man who I trusted just raped me. I hated men.”
But years later, Danielle’s attitude toward men softened. When she was a teenager she fell in love for the first time and thought he was in love too.
“So this older man is telling me everything I wanted to hear and more. I just wanted to be ‘his’.
After the first time she slept with him, the man told her he was a pimp and wanted her to be his prostitute. Danielle was devastated and refused.
Then she discovered she was pregnant with his child.
“Every time I get with a guy something bad is happening. I’m done. Then you are telling me I’m pregnant? I’m 13 in the 8th grade. What am I going to do with the baby? And the baby’s father is a 27-year-old pimp.”
Danielle delivered prematurely, and the baby died within hours.
“It was over as far as me caring about life, me caring about myself, me caring about men. Men were out of the question. I was done. I hated men. It was a rage that I had for men. The site of men made me sick.”
A friend convinced her she could manipulate and control men by stripping. She started dancing in nightclubs and prostitution quickly followed. She pushed away any thought that what she was doing so wrong. Even though she had been raised in a church, she had no moral convictions. “I didn’t care. I knew who God was. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I didn’t care. I hated men and I thought this was a way to repay them. That’s how I looked at it. I was getting them back for hurting me. I felt like I had the upper hand now. Before, you guys had the upper hand and you were hurting me. Now the roles had switched. And that’s how I looked at it.”
One day Danielle was invited onto the set of a porn film in Hollywood.
“And I saw the check that was written out to one of the girls there. And I said, “That’s why you got for doing that? Where do I sign up”? I was making a lot of money as a dancer and an escort, already. But with the porn I looked at it as even a better way to make more money. And I said, ‘Ok, let’s go for it.’ After so long it became normal. It became cool that I was a porn star.“
Danielle continued as a call girl as well. One night she accepted a client who turned out to be a psychopath who wanted to kill her.
“And for three weeks that man came in there and raped me and beat me. And he told me over and over again, ‘I’m going to kill you. You are not leaving here.’ And I believed it. I knew that I was supposed to die. And every day I got weaker and weaker to the point where I just gave up. I collapsed to the floor. And I wept and I wept. I lay there and I cried so much that I couldn’t speak. And I got my words together and I said, ‘Lord, if you get me out of this I’ll change my life for you. Don’t let me die like this.Not like this.’ 19 years old. He had to get me to that point to show me that ‘I’m God. I’m still God. It’s me and you.” And at that very moment I got my salvation.”
Danielle prayed to accept Jesus Christ. A few days later a man overheard her crying and helped her escape.
She immediately severed her relationships with anyone in the sex industry and started going to church. Surrounded by new friends, Danielle’s life began to change.
“I was starting to fall in love with Christ. And the more I did that the more He started to purge me and heal me and deliver me. The more I reached out to Him, the more He worked in me. Everything I didn’t have. The relationship with my mother, the relationship with my father, the hurt from men, He filled every void.”
Danielle is now in ministry full time sharing the love of Jesus Christ.
“There is no sin too big too bad for Christ. And when everyone else leaves you, He will never leave you or forsake you. And I’m a living witness, a walking example of what Christ can do with somebody’s life.”
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