Author, Is This The One? (Zondervan, 2012)
Founder & Creator, Women of Faith conferences
Host of nationally syndicated daily radio program, New Life Live
Graduate, Baylor University
Graduate, University of North Texas
Two honorary doctorate degrees
Doctoral student at Newbury Seminary and Bible College
Stephen Arterburn: Dating 101
A Voice of Hope
Stephen says dating should be about enjoying life, having fun, developing experiences with the opposite sex, building that part of you that’s able to understand someone of the opposite sex. “I really believe if you want to honor God in your dating life, you ought to be looking to be friends first,” says Stephen.
If you don’t learn how to be a friend to somebody, you probably will not be a very good friend when married. The foundation to marriage is friendship. It’s probably not going to be a very good marriage if you don’t have a good friend first.
One of the biggest mistakes many Christians believe is that if the other person is a Christian, they are automatically equally yoked. In reality, there are a lot of people that say they are Christians but they don’t treat people the way Christ would treat someone. They are not Christ followers in the dating world.
You’re not just looking for someone who says they are a Christian. You are looking for someone who has a Spiritual foundation, a Biblical foundation for their life where they are actively following after Christ.
"If there is a lack of anything in dating, it is a lack of being accountable to other people so that you are making decisions that will keep you sexually pure, keep your integrity in place, and also honor the other person you are with," says Stephen. Most Godly women are looking for a man who is responsible to God, responsible to her and responsible to those who will come after them. “I want to see the fruit,” says Stephen. This includes responsible behavior, responsible treatment of me, and responsible view of how God directs my life and what I do in response to God.
Knowing that the person is the one is more than a feeling. You have to take a really good look at the relationship and ask yourself, “Do I feel loved by this person? Do I feel respected? Do I feel free in this relationship? Do I feel like our relationship honors God? Do we genuinely care about the other person?” It is so important that if the person is “the one” the other must be able to accept that person’s wounds and be part of the healing of that person’s wounds.
God loves you, he wants the best for you, and he’s going to fulfill some desires as well as needs when you marry the right person.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will direct your paths.” –Proverbs 3:5-6
ABOUT STEPHEN ARTERBURN:
Stephen Arterburn is the creator of the Women of Faith conference attended by more than 4 million people. He is also the host of the number one Christian counseling broadcast, New Life Live, syndicated around the country and heard all over the world. Stephen is also the founder of New Life Ministries offering counseling and treatment across America.
Stephen is the bestselling author of books such as Regret-Free Living, Every Man’s Battle, Toxic Faith and his latest, Is This The One? With over 7 million books in print, he has been writing about God’s transformational truth since 1984. He has been nominated for numerous writing awards and won three Gold Medallions for writing excellence.
Stephen has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. He currently is a doctoral student at Newburg Seminary and Bible College in Newburg, Indiana.
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