Radio talk show host, The Dr. Laura Schlessinger Program; 20 million listeners 30,000-50,000 attempted calls to her daily show; heard on over 400 radio stations in 98% of the U.S.A.
Ph.D. Physiology, Columbia University
Licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor, USC
The immediate feedback to Dr. Laura's seventh bestseller, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, affirmed that she helped thousands of readers make good marriages better and saved many from the brink of divorce. Within minutes or hours after reading the book, hundreds of people sent in letters testifying to the changes taking place in their relationships.
For some, however, the titles of her latest two books are controversial, especially side by side. The Proper Care strikes some as 1950s retro and an affront to hardworking women who see any request from their husbands as selfish or oppressive. Dr. Laura says that this "feminist" notion of womanpower is a rejection of femininity and maintaining a home that has robbed women of choice and satisfaction. One female listener thanked Dr. Laura at the end of a show by saying, "You've made caring about your man acceptable again."
Dr. Laura says that the ultimate power of women is their unique qualities: intuition, compassion, sensitivity, sensuality, bonding, and nesting. Women have been the ones to center men, give them purpose, and ultimately create the atmosphere in the home. While women get their sense of well being from mothers, sisters, and friends, men are more directly dependent on the acceptance and love from their wives than anyone else. It is a fact, she says, that most unhappy men are unhappy because their hearts, souls, and psyches are not being attended to at home, and the only people with the power to transform that are their wives.
A New Attitude
Dr. Laura believes that many women do not intentionally aim to hurt their husbands. "I see that too many wives are oblivious to the fact that much of the way they behave decidedly hurts their husbands," she says. "Women are most concerned with making sure they are fulfilling what society has told them should be their role." This notion of power does not include a home, husband, or children, even though the true nature of a woman is to nurture. When women are burdened by the pain and helplessness of a failing marriage and family, that is the ultimate burden. Dr. Laura says she is trying to help women see that they are very powerful influences in the quality of their lives and their marriages. "When a woman loses the connection to her feminity, and the protection of her man...she loses too much in her life and takes too much away from his," says Dr. Laura. This does not mean that women cannot have careers, but it does mean that women must not forget how they are the core threads in the tapestry of the family unit.
The more women understand men's simple needs, the more women can use their power to make their life happier. Since men are not prone to wearing their emotions on their sleeves, it is easy for a woman to miss her man's emotional state. A happy, healthy, more peaceful life comes from making choices. One reader decided to try a "new attitude." Dr. Laura says this woman decided to be happy; she decided to see the loving things her husband had been doing. She now has a husband who speaks to her more sweetly, and her children are happier, too, all because this woman had a change in attitude.
Through a series of provocative chapters and questions and answers, Dr. Laura guides women on how to assess what is valuable and what is vulnerable in their marriages. She stimulates women to think about what is really important about being a woman, a wife, and a mother. Readers will find inspirational stories and tips, thought-provoking essays, and plenty of room to journal. Women who wish to move past the ingrained notion that giving to a husband is giving up something of themselves will learn that instead of losing something, they will feel a deep sense of gain. What women "get" from "giving" to their men is an unbelievable new sense of purpose and meaning. Women who have discovered the value of their womanliness have realized that their grateful husbands will give them the world.
Used with permission of the Dr. Laura show.
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