CBN.com Vertigo for me began April 9, 1998, when I collapsed on my office floor at CBN. Subsequent diagnosis revealed it to be Menier's Disease for which there is no medical (natural) cure. The effects of this have not stopped since its onset. It is perpetual and continuous. Or to put it in the words of two singer/songwriters from the 60s, Carole King and Tommy Roe respectively: "I feel the earth move under my feet" and "Dizzy"... not to mention "Vertigo", the U2 song.
It came upon me following a trip to India some months before. The trip had involved a lot of spiritual warfare. My ear shut down just before a meeting of a few thousand people that resulted in a deaf girl being healed when I ministered to her. She was healed, and I became temporarily deaf! Also we were involved in spiritual warfare near the Ganges River in Veranasi, India.
My personal way of analyzing issues is to first go to the Lord through prayer and the study of His Word, confessing any known sin, followed by the injunction to have prayer and the anointing of oil. (James 5.13-16) All that has been obeyed. The following is what I have discovered to date.
Note: The following may not apply to everyone who is experiencing this affliction.
Dealing with the Darkness
I felt impressed to do a word study on the word "darkness" as used in the Scripture.
· John 12.46 - "I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in darkness."
· Luke 11.35 - "Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness. If you are filled with light and no dark corners ."
· This darkness is rooted in error, ignorance, disobedience, willful blindness, and rebellion.
· Symptoms of this can result in anxiety (the ultimate anxiety being death) and gloom.
· These are just two instances of the use of dark in the New Testament. There are numerous others.
· In the John 12.46 use, the root word in Greek in "scotia," (skot-ee-ah) defined as darkness, gloom, evil, sin, obscurity, night, ignorance, and moral depravity. It is a metaphor for ignorance of God's truth, man's sinful nature, total absence of light and a lack of spiritual perception. Scotia as spiritual darkness basically describes everything earthly or demonic that is at enmity with God.
· Other derivatives:
· "Skotia" - Scotland
· "Skotos" - Is the root word for a Scot from Scotland.
· "Skotoma" - is defined as dizziness! A variation of to darken, stupefy, stagger, make dizzy.
Since this is my name and heritage. Is there a correlation between these definitions and my condition?
In my Celtic roots I think about the Druids. Does this have something to do with a generational curse? I approach this term cautiously, as "Jesus became a curse for us," (Galatians 3.13) therefore all curses are broken at the cross.
I contracted this vertigo in India. Interestingly enough this is also where my father met the Lord Jesus supernaturally many years ago.
The word I had from the Lord when going to India years ago was, "the people living in darkness (there's that word again) have seen a great light!"
However, although I once lived in darkness:
"He has rescued me from the one who rules in the kingdom of darkness, (skotia) and He has brought me into the Kingdom of His dear Son." (Colossians 1.13)
In other words, no matter the condition, I am "Scott Free!"
A Not So Merry-Go-Round
I discovered another word (from the Hebrew) that relates to going round: 'charchar.'
Psalm 38.10 - "My heart pants, (charchar) my strength fails me."
Here described is a picture of fainting. The heart's action is described by this rare word, "charchar", which in it's root means ''to go round and round, to keep moving back and forth; and is here in an intensive form expressive of violent motion. To throb or beat violently, as the heart may do."
It is an expression of pain and distress, indicated by a rapid beating of the heart. It is rapidly failing. Here David the Psalmist regarded himself as rapidly approaching death.
So maybe I'm gonna go on and be with Jesus soon!
An alternate meaning of the word means to "go around to and fro, or travel in the course of work." Which many of you know I do continually.
I have often stated over the last few years that I spin in one direction and the world spins in the other.
· Since I sometimes stagger when I walk, another word study I made pertains to a:
Literal Sense of Walking
· Acts 14.10 - "Orthos" - "So Paul called to him in a loud voice, "Stand up!" And the man jumped to his feet and started walking."
In a Figurative Sense It Means:
· Galatians 2.14 - "Orthopodeo," "I saw they were not walking uprightly according to the truth of the gospel." Walk uprightly; walk straightly. Literally means walking in a straight line.
· Hebrews 12.13 -"Make straight paths for your feet."
· Isaiah 35.3 - "Strengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble knees."
· Proverbs 4.26 - "Consider well the path for your feet and all your ways will be sure."
And Then Combining the Literal and Figurative:
· Psalm 37. 23-24 - "The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." · Psalm 121.3 - "He will not let you stumble and fall."
· Hebrews 12.13 - "Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong."
· Isaiah 35.3 & 6 - "Strengthen those who have weak knees the lame will leap like a deer."
· Proverbs 4.26 - "Mark out a straight path for your feet."
Some Lessons and Conclusions
· God has allowed this "vertigo," and my attitude is to trust Him - "God may kill me, but still I will trust Him." (Job 13.15)
Personal attitude while waiting for healing (All of the following principles apply to any kind of sickness, malady, or trial -- not just my condition)
· Two key words for me - endure and persevere - In the New Testament, they are defined as, "standing firm under pressure and holding out under stress."
This is not passive, but actively resisting weariness and defeat.
I still run over 20 miles a week and have gone around the world four times, plus the domestic travel in ministry, TV/radio, Internet, writing, meetings, etc. Not to mention everyday life, wife, family, etc.
All this after the doctors said I shouldn't fly. I thought maybe after I got to 37,000 feet I'd snap out of it! Jet lag does exacerbate the problem.
Additionally, a few years ago I bought a motorcycle. (For you bikers, a Kawasaki 1500/Vulcan-Nomad)
Vertigo man rides again! Although few people have the faith to ride with me, Nedra does. Faith and works!
In the Meantime I Am:
· Learning to wait - "This is our God; we have waited for Him and He will save us; this is the Lord ; we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation." (Isaiah 25.9)
· I am waiting with hope and anticipation of God's rescue - healing.
· "If we must keep trusting and hoping for something that hasn't happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently." (Romans 8.25)
· Learning: That I am not in control, physically or in regard to healing, or rectifying my condition & this includes doctors. It is entirely in the hands of God.
Personal Posture and Some Conclusions:
· Allow the Holy Spirit to examine you, without getting into introspection.
· No pity party.
· Don't fear. Fear the Lord and obey Him - Even "if you walk in darkness and have no light," trust and rely on God. (Isaiah 50.10)
· Don't take matters into your own hands. - "You who live in your own light, and warm yourselves by your own fires and not from God's; you will live in sorrow." (Isaiah 50.11)
· Unplug from normal activity. Sabbath rest. This is an attitude not just a vacation.
· Determine priorities. What is really important? My conclusion: the Lord Himself, wife, husband, family, friends, my ministry and work.
· Understand how tenuous life is. "What is your life but a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." (James 4.14)
· All this works humility. "Let Him do what seems good to Him" (Judges 10.15)
· The attitude is one of submission not complaining.
Paul I ain't!
· But we still have our why's?
· Psalm 88 - Look at all the various "Why's?"
Some folks have suggested that this is my "thorn in the flesh." My response to that
"Skolop" is the Greek word for thorn in all of the following
· The angel of Satan - (Greek) "aggelos-angelos" that buffeted Paul with these things. (2 Corinthians 12.7; 2 Corinthians 11.23-27)
· Job 2.7 - "So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores..."
· Numbers 33.55 - To Israel - "Barbs and irritants in your eyes and thorns in your side."
· Ezekiel 28.24 - A pricking brier. A painful thorn to Israel.
· Hosea 2.6 - Israel's way hedged up with thorns and walled in.
· None of these references refer to disease but rather to trials and troubles, etc.
· 2 Corinthians 12.8 - Paul sought the Lord three times.
Similar to Moses seeking and asking the Lord to enter the Promised Land. But God said no, and told Moses not to ask anymore.
· Similar encounters and pleadings with God
· Moses pleading with God. (Deuteronomy 3.23-27)
· David asked three times for his child's life. (2 Samuel. 12.20)
· Jesus beseeching the Father three times to "Let this cup pass from Me. But let your will be done."( Matthew 26.44)
· If God doesn't remove the problem recognize that:
· "Jesus takes handicaps and makes them instruments of His glory." - T.Austin Sparks.
· "The purpose of this illness is not to death, but for the glory of God." (John 11.4)
· Paul's questioned his thorn in the flesh and concluded: "I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift." (2 Corinthians 12.1-12 - The Message)
This is to know I may be impaired, but I'm not disabled.
So for all the folks that say this Menier's Disease is my thorn in the flesh, along with Paul, I am now waiting to be transported to the third heaven!
The Great Escape
· I am also reminded that God won't give you more than you can handle. He will also provide a way out. (1 Corinthians 10.13)
· He will help you and understands (Hebrews 2.18)
· "Fix your eyes on Jesus "(Hebrews 12.2 - and following verses.)
· "Consider it joy " (James 1.2 and following verses.)
· Recognize that "The trying of our faith the glory to follow the right attitude rejoice you will be restored" (1 Peter 1.7; 11; 4.1; 13; 5.10 )
· "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." (2 Corinthians. 4.10 - NIV)
· Identify with Christ's suffering. (Romans 6.1-11)
· "You must suffer with Christ in order to reign with Him." (2 Timothy 2.12)
· Called to it. Follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2. 21) -
· If you are to share in His joy, you are to share in His suffering.
· Read through Isaiah 53,. and select which may apply to you personally.
Pope John Paul brought this emphasis that many don’t want to hear about; the purpose of suffering.
It's Bigger than You
· Recognize that your suffering may of a broader significance than just you individually. It may pertain to the Church in some way that is significant to the higher purposes of God.
· Prayer, does not just concern the individual, but relates to the corporate Church and world. "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." ( 2 Corinthians 1.4)
· It may be mediatorial to make you a more effective disciple and intercessor.
· Psalm 69 - Representative prayer.
· Your consciousness will be heightened by the sense of being an organ of God's Spirit.
· "You have sent troubles and suffering on me, but you will restore my strength; you will keep from the grave. You will make me greater than ever; you will comfort me again." (My emphasis) (Psalm 71.20-21 - Good News)
· "Don't turn me out to pasture when I'm old or put me on the shelf when I can't pull my weight." (Vs.18 -(The Message)
· "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and He delights in his way. Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." (Psalm 37.23-24 )
· "Lead me on level ground." (Psalm 143.10)
· "And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." (Romans 14.4)
· "In faithfulness YOU have afflicted me." (Psalm 119. vs.67, 71, 75 )
· "Hold me up and I shall be safe."( Psalm 119. 117)
· "Put your hand out and steady me-since I've chosen to live by your counsel."( Psalm 119.173 - The Message)
· "My foot has held His steps." (Job 23.11)
· "Stand fast in the Lord." (Philippians 4.11)
· "After you have suffered a little while, (God) will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."(1 Peter 5.11) -
· "I am a messenger of this message & that's why the suffering. It's a sheer gift." (Colossians 1:23-29 - The Message)
· "I quit focusing on the handicap & began appreciating the gift." (2 Corinthians 12: 9)
And in spite of it all "God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction." (Genesis 41.52)
"The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5.10).
Scott Ross welcomes your feedback.
A caring friend will be there to pray with you in your time of need.