How Global Warming Has Wrecked Everything
October 30, 2007
A friend in Switzerland was kind enough to translate an article from the German newspaper Die Welt on all of the alleged effects that scientists and environmentalists tell us to expect from global warming. The list:
Slowing of the gulf stream, aggressiveness (among polar bears), maple syrup shortage, algae expansion, states of fear and anxiety (among humans), asthma, excavation, endangerment in the Nile delta, extinction (including but not limited to elephants, frogs, wood lice, salmon, ladybirds, and wildflowers), rising river levels, lower river levels, decreasing cloud coverage, increasing cloud coverage, cholera, parched landscapes, the next ice age, earthquakes, earth wobbling, global dimming, landslides, falling real estate prices, sudden frosts, decreasing fertility (among humans), yellow fever, weight gain (among polar bears), increasing grain harvests, decreasing grain harvests, receding glaciers, skin cancer, hay fever, heat waves, flooding islands, cannibalism (among polar bears), cold waves, coral bleaching, the German city of Hamburg with a Mediterranean climate, Hamburg under sea level, wars over water, krill decline, avalanches, mass unrest, sea demineralization, sea acidification, migration, billions of dead, mussel plagues, shrinking Mount Everest, mosquito plagues, dwindling ozone, increasing ozone, melting polar caps, expanding polar caps, escalating plankton, diminishing plankton, pollen plagues, jellyfish plagues, diminishing rainfall, increasing rainfall, salmonella, infestations, declining snowfall, increasing snowfall, suicide(among polar bears), lazy blackbirds, disappearing ski-lifts, smog, rock slides, rising banana prices, rising sea levels, rising national budgets, squid proliferation, death by drowning (among polar bears), vanishing beaches, increasing storms, decreasing storms, terrorism, tourism boom on the Baltic Sea, tsunamis, Celsius temperature increases of around 1.9 to 3.5 degrees, of 1.4 to 5.8 degrees, of 1.9 to 11.2 degrees by 2100, the deaths of French elderly during a heat wave, flooding, death of wine growers in France, increasing vegetation, demise of Venice, volcanic eruptions, forest fires, retreating forests, expanding forests, world-wide bankruptcy in the year 2065, warmer winters, longer and colder winters, cloud glow, retreating deserts, expanding deserts, collapsing mountains...
And The Center for American Progress has come out with its list, and it adds...
...the demise of wooden baseball bats, fly fishing, Christmas trees, lobster dinners, guacamole, mixed nuts, french fries, Bulgarian hookers, and much much more...
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