Dr. Linda Helps - “I was married before so it’s unrealistic to expect me not to have sex.”

"Everyone in the singles group sleeps around.”

“I’m 40 years old and just want to be bad for awhile.”

“I’m so inexperienced, it will be a problem.”

“Surely God doesn’t expect me to go through life without sex.”

“Sexual sin is not unforgivable.”

“God made me sexual. It would be a cruel joke not to act on it.”

“Is it realistic to be a virgin?”

“We did everything but intercourse. I think that’s OK.”

“We had oral sex. That doesn’t count.”

“I know it’s wrong, but…”

“If you love someone, sex is OK.”

Raise your hand if you identify with any of these comments. They come from Christian singles. OK, put your hand down and let’s talk. Many Christian singles (and married people for that matter) have lowered their sexual standards. They have allowed the thinking of the culture to seep into the church and their personal lives. As a result, sin gets redefined.

Do not compare your sexual behavior to that of Jerry Springer guests, soap opera stars, “Friends” (the television show or the real deal), your neighbors, or your boss. Because if you do, you‘ll look like an angel.

You need to compare your behavior to the Word of God. What does the Bible say about sex outside of marriage? It says do not do it. We have standards to uphold regardless of how out of date they may appear.

God did not give us these standards to punish us or make us suffer. He created sex and is fully aware of the oneness of union that happens when two people become sexually involved. He also knows that the oneness operates best in the context of marriage.

Now I realize staying sexually pure is a tough thing to do in today’s climate. We are bombarded with sexual images and temptations daily. The amount of sexual material that you encounter just living your life gives new meaning to the idea of guarding your thoughts. It is an incredibly difficult task to guard your heart and mind.

So, prepare yourself to resist temptation. God would not ask you to do something and then not equip you to do it. It’s a tough assignment in today’s market to live up to biblical standards, but it’s not impossible.

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles and information, visit Dr. Linda Mintle's Web site.