Dr. Linda Helps - “I never thought about how magazines influence my feelings about my body. I look at the models and sometimes read the articles. I’m interested in fashion and want to stay in style. But lately I’ve been obsessing on different body parts. It seems no matter what I do, I don’t look like the models I see. I’ve been feeling depressed. My mom is worried because I started dieting. She says I’m not fat.”

Many teens I see in therapy struggle with body image disturbance. Their bodies become their enemies—not good enough to win them acceptance or popularity. They falsely believe that a “killer” body is the key to love.

Adolescence is a time girls reorganize internally while trying to conform externally. Their style has to be uniquely their own while conforming to a certain look. Girls are acutely aware of the physical appearance of other girls. Comparisons abound and are not limited to peers. The glamorized icons of pop culture set the standard. It is easy to feel less than perfect.  

Despite all the efforts of the women’s movement, girls still give others tremendous power over feelings of self-worth. Those who do not have good self-esteem and lack self-worth are particularly susceptible to negative pressure from peers and media.

While parents still constitute the single most important influence in the life of a teen, media also have influence. For many teens, media fill in the gap. For teens who do not have strong parent connections, media become the teaching parent. Teens try to imitate attractive models whose photos have been airbrushed and computer altered. When they do not match the glamorous photos they regularly stare at, dissatisfaction with the body results.

Early on, girls learn the lesson that appearance matters. This message reinforced by magazines and other media is internalized and often leads to preoccupation with beauty and the perfect body. In 1988, Salmons and other researchers published results from a school survey they conducted with children ages 11 to 13 years. Most girls worried about the shape of their stomachs and thighs. Other studies have documented the preoccupation of young girls with dieting, despite the fact that they are not considered overweight.

Our culture says perfect bodies are to be worshipped. The American body has been glamorized to idol proportion. But parents can influence daughters to accept their imperfect bodies.

Try these suggestions to help correct those distortions:

• Educate your daughter about the use of computer altering, make-up, hairstylists, and airbrushed photos in magazines. Teens need to know most people do not look like those photos without a lot of extra help.
  
• Compliment your daughters for things unrelated to beauty and looks.
  
• Moms, do not criticize your own body for its imperfections in front of your daughters. And stop your endless dieting.
  
• Help your daughter find her true identity in Christ by filling her with the Word so she finds her identity in Christ.
  
• Work on the internal parts of her character development. Inner beauty goes a long way in life and does not fade with age.
  
• Limit exposure to unhealthy media images as much as possible.
  
• Show your daughter how to maximize her physical appearance without becoming obsessive and spending hours on her make-up and hair. Good grooming differs from obsessing.
  
• Talk to daughters about the dangers of body image disturbance as a precursor to eating disorders.

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles by Dr. Linda Mintle, visit www.drlindahelps.com.

E-mail Dr. Linda with your questions and concerns.