Dr. Linda Helps - Media reinforces the view that women must be sexy and beautiful. Even kids who have good relationships with parents look to TV, movies and magazines for sexual information. When this information conflicts with parental values, parents must speak up.

Consider these statistics from the New York Times:

• 3/4ths of all girls have had sex during their teen years
• 15 percent has had four or more partners
• 1 million teenage girls become pregnant in the US each year
• Of those who give birth, nearly half are not yet 18 years old

Most teen girls don’t want to become sexually active or mothers, yet find themselves in these circumstances. One reason is the lack of social support for an abstinence message. Socially, sex is glamorized.

Consequently, kids are trying sex at an earlier age than ever before and having multiple partners. This has created an epidemic of HPV and related cervical cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and AIDS, and Hepatitis B. Before the 1960s, we had two major sexually transmitted diseases. We now have more than 25 significant STDs affecting 12 million Americans, 3 million of whom are teenagers.

Teens are open, vulnerable and undecided about sexual activity. Many are persuaded to be sexually active because they think everyone else is. Sexual activity is encouraged in media that does not present associated dangers. I once heard it said that if physicians encouraged teens to be as sexually active as the media does, they would be guilty of malpractice.

The general media message is that sex is so powerful, no one expects teens to keep it under control. Therefore teach safe sex.

Safe sex is a lie that continues to be the mainstay of networks like MTV. At the 1987 World Congress of Sexologists, Theresa Crenshaw asked the audience, “If you had the available partner of your dreams and knew that that person carried HIV, how many of you would have sex depending on a condom for your protection?” None of the 800 members of the audience raised their hands!

In a 1993 issue of Social Science Medicine, condom effectiveness was reported: 87 percent were effective in preventing pregnancy; 69% in reducing risk of HIV infection. That’s hardly risk free.

Talk to any pediatrician and you’ll get a very real picture of the heartache teens experience who believed in safe sex. Join me in therapy and try to explain to a 15-year-old how she developed genital warts, cervical cancer or a sexually transmitted disease using “safe sex” practices. Come to a group therapy and listen to the misinformation girls have about oral sex.

The sexual freedom promoted to teens comes at a cost -- physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Comments like, “It’s not what I thought. No one ever told me how I’d feel afterwards,” are common.

It’s time to be intentional with our children about cultural sexual messages. Our teens need parents who will fight back and teach them how to guard their hearts and treat their bodies as holy temples. Most teens tell me that their parents rarely say anything about sex. Most of what they know comes from the pop culture. Parents, it’s time to speak up.

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles and information, visit Dr. Linda Mintle's Web site.