Viewer Question - Dr. Linda: My husband says there is no such thing as marital rape. What do you say?

Dr. Linda's Response - I want you to hear what one woman has to say. Marital rape is real.

“He only attacks me once in awhile. Most of the time he is loving. He does provide for the family so I figure I can put up with his occasional sexual assaults on me. I am his wife so maybe he has a right to force sex. My pastor told me to be submissive so if he wants to have sex against my will, I guess I can’t stop him.”

This is not a quote from a woman who lived in the 1950s. These are the thoughts of a Christian woman living in the year 2000. Marital rape is real but a controversial subject among many today. It is a topic that receives little attention despite the fact that marital rape became a legal crime in all 50 states on July 5, 1993 . Until the 1970s, the idea that wives did not have the right to refuse sex went legally unchallenged.  

Legal definitions vary but marital rape is generally considered to be unwanted intercourse or penetration by force, threat of force or when the wife is unable to consent (Bergen, 1996;Russell, 1990; Pagelow, 1984). It is estimated that between 10-14 percent of married women are victim to this type of violence (Russell, 1990). This data is usually gathered by interview from women who will talk about sexual violence. Typically samples come from batters women’s shelters. Thus the numbers may not represent the general population.

Researchers have found that marital rape constitutes 25 percent of all rape cases (Randall &Haskall, 1995; Resnick, Kilpatrick, Walsh & Vernon, 1991). It is also not uncommon for other forms of physical abuse to accompany rape. Women who are battered are especially vulnerable.

There are those who believe marital rape isn’t even possible. These people often view women as property or objects, and feel that married men are entitled to sex no matter what the resistance. When battered women have gone to clergy for help, a small number have reported being told—obey your husband, it is sinful to resist sex under any circumstances. Obviously, this is not the view of most clergy or religious institutions but it does exist.

Who is most likely to be victimized? While martial rape occurs across age, social class, race and ethnicity, wives under the age of 25 are more at-risk (Russell, 1990). Women from lower social-class backgrounds are more likely to report (Finlelhor & Yllo, 1985), while upper middle class wives are over-represented among rape survivors (Rusell, 1990). In terms of race, African American women have higher rates than Caucasians, Latinas and Asians (Russell, 1990).

The effects of marital rape are serious and can be long-lasting. There may be multiple physical injuries as well as psychological difficulties. Women can become anxious, fearful, depressed, suicidal and have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. In addition, marital rape can affects a woman’s eating, sleep, sense of self, and ability to trust in the relationship.

Obviously marital rape signals an unhealthy marital relationship. The misuse of power in the form of sexual violence is wrong. Rape crisis counselors, as well as advocates for battered women, can provide assistance. Contact your local mental health clinic for more information or go to a wife rape information page.

Also, check out this link for more information: http://www.wellesley.edu/wcw/projects/mrape.html

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles by Dr. Linda Mintle, visit www.drlindahelps.com.

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