Dr. Linda Helps - Depression is a response to life’s constant losses and challenges. As we move through life, we often become stuck in three primary areas – our relationships, our circumstances, and our expectations and dreams.

We don’t think about how the daily struggles can trip us up. We expect only the big things like death, divorce and disease to bring on depressed feelings. These losses can trigger negative thinking, which brings on a depressed mood. A depressed mood negatively affects our perception of the world, which then feeds our negative thinking. The cycle goes round and round.

Jill can’t get out of bed in the morning. She’s losing weight and has no appetite. She can’t concentrate on her job. She stopped working out and lost interest in her photography club. Everyone seems to bug her. The other day her boss gave her back an assignment and she burst into tears. Jill feels like a cloud of sadness sits over her. She even has had thoughts of driving her car over a cliff.

Jill is embarrassed about the way she feels. She’s a Christian and believes that if she loves God, she shouldn’t feel depressed. Nothing horrible has happened. She has a good job, a supportive family and a boyfriend who is kind and loving. Lately, her boss has treated her unfairly and her landlord is pressuring her to move out of her apartment.

However, many of us regularly face other losses. Some examples of everyday losses are dealing with a spouse who puts work over time with the family, a company that skips over you for a promotion or the fact that you’re not making the kind of income you thought you would at this stage in life.

We must learn to cope by recognizing the loss (things and people aren’t always as we wished), allow ourselves to feel the accompanying emotions (sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment, etc.), change our thoughts (negative to positive), and move on from depressed feelings. If we don’t do this, we can get stuck in depression.

The good news is we serve a God who not only knows but also created our emotional selves. He can help us transform any loss to a new thing in which good can come out. That’s His way. He sent His son, Jesus, to die (major loss) for all our sins. Jesus transformed death to glorious new birth. That’s the model He gave us.

• Face the loss and all the feelings involved in your daily disappointments with people and things.
  
• Trust God to transform loss into something new.
  
• Believe He can bring about good even from a bad situation.
  
• Respond to the loss by feeling it, grieving it, and letting go.
  
• Renew your mind with the love of God.

The next time you struggle with depression, ask yourself:

What losses am I facing? Am I facing them or am I stuck? Am I secretly angry with God and feel He has let me down, or do I trust Him no matter the circumstances?

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles and information, visit Dr. Linda Mintle's Web site.