Where Are You, God?
By Aaron Bull
How many times have I asked this very question? The difference this time when I asked is that I got an
I recently endured ACL reconstruction. For me, when
I was told that I had to go through the surgery and 6 months of
recovery before I could get back to running, soccer, biking, and
rock climbing, it was just as bad as giving me a life sentence.
If you've read any of my past Devotions here on CBN.com, you
know that I am a very active guy. So being told I couldn't do
the things I enjoy for a while was quite a blow. After some tears,
prayer, and counsel of family and friends, I realized it wasn't
that bad. It wasn't cancer, and it wasn't death; it was a relatively
routine surgery. So I stopped my dramatics.
I blew out my ACL while playing soccer during a typical Sunday afternoon
pick up game. I was going for the ball and stepped in a hole or simply misplaced
my foot. I won't describe what happened, but I will say that it was the only
I've ever incurred whereby I actually saw and heard everything as it happened.
leave the description at that, because it wasn't pretty.
If you don't know
what ACL reconstruction is, please do a search on the Internet. There's tons of
information out there. I don't want to bore you.
The surgery went fine.
When I woke up, my right leg was in a knee immobilizer and the world was spinning
than what I was used to. It wasn't fun, but I knew it was necessary.
wife comforted me while I was waking up from the anesthesia. Then she drove me
home for a weekend of lying on my back trying not to get cabin fever while icing
my knee 24/7. To put this in perspective, about the only time I am still is when
I'm eating or sleeping. Anytime other than those two, I'm doing something. Type-A
personality? I think so.
My wife was great at keeping me occupied. She
made sure I was fed, watered, entertained, etc Sounds like a pet doesn't it?
Sorry! She was a great caretaker and I was/am really blessed to have her.
Monday came. She had to go back to work. I was stuck at home to recover
to work from home since I wasn't permitted to drive. I was still on crutches
and still in the knee immobilizer. If you don't know what a knee immobilizer
a brace that goes from your ankle to your upper thigh to make sure that you do
not move your knee. Getting around with it is not easy, but manageable.
was left to getting the things I needed, i.e. food, water, ice, bathroom breaks,
etc If my hands were free, that wouldn't be a problem. However, I was on crutches.
So doing things myself was not an easy task.
Back to Monday. I started my morning after my wife and son left
for school. After a few frustrating attempts to fix something
to eat and drink for breakfast, I was struggling to catch my breath
and figure out how to do this without losing my temper. (Side
note: it takes a lot for me to lose my temper. I am a very calm
person even in stressful/chaotic situations. So I was being tested.)
Not only was I struggling to get around the kitchen, but I also
hit my foot a few times, which, of course, prompted pain to shoot
straight up my leg and hit me right in the knee.
As I was struggling
with pain and patience, I very quickly asked God where He might be. For me, that's
a foolish question. I'll get to that later. Almost as quickly as I asked the question,
I got an answer. The answer was something along the lines of, "What do you mean
where am I? I've been here all along. Where have you been?"
I'm sure that it won't surprise you that the answer I got hit
me like a ton of bricks. I immediately started to think about
"Where I have been." I'd been busy letting others take care of
me. I'd been busy wondering how I would handle not running, playing
soccer, etc I'd been wondering what the future would hold for
me with a gimp leg for the next few months. Did I make time for
God during a time that I was at a slower pace? It was a time when
I have more time to pray and talk with God. Did I take advantage
of it? No! I was too busy wondering, planning, and running scenarios
through my head. Sound like anyone you might know?
The funny thing about this whole lesson learned -- at least I
think I've learned it -- is that I've been a Christian for just
about my entire life. God has guided me through so many things.
After I've made it through whatever difficulty I'm dealing with
at the time, I have to laugh that once again I doubted Him. Once
again my agenda has gotten in the way of His agenda, His guidance,
and His blessing. Am I hardheaded? You bet!
There are many Scriptures that answer the question I posed earlier
as to where God is. Here are two verses. Both are in Deuteronomy:
Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor
forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged (Deuteronomy 31:8).
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified
because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will
never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Can He be any clearer? I was taught in church, college, books,
and life that when something is repeated, generally the author
means it. I am very certain He means it. I take comfort in it
Today, every day, you have a choice. The next time you ask God,
"Where are you?" you should be asking yourself, "Where am I?"
You know where God is going to be. Where are you going to be?
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