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"If same-sex marriage is accepted as a real marriage, as a real form of marriage, that's the point at which you fundamentally change the meaning of the word. So mother no longer points to father. Husband no longer points to wife."

--Maggie Gallagher, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy

polyamory

Polygamy: The Next 'Right' to be Legalized?

By Kim Bonney
CBN News Producer

CBN.com – WASHINGTON - Voters across the country have repeatedly rejected same-sex marriage. Yet the battle over same-sex marriage may be resolved by the courts.

The stakes are high because if same- sex marriage becomes legal, polygamy may be next.

The Massachusetts State Supreme Court made history in late 2003 when it ordered the state to legalize same-sex marriage.

In response, voters in 18 states have passed measures to protect traditional marriage, including Nebraska, where 70 percent of the voters approved a state constitutional amendment limiting marriage to one man and one woman.

But after a lawsuit by homosexual and liberal groups, a federal judge struck down Nebraska's marriage amendment.

And now that case may wind up in the Supreme Court, which, according to well-known lecturer and outspoken combatant in the culture wars, Stanley Kurtz, "If this particular decision in Nebraska is upheld, it would force either full same-sex marriage, or at least Vermont-style civil unions, on the entire country."

What does all this mean to the future of the marriage institution? Opponents of homosexual unions argue that gay marriage is only the start. They say it will lead America down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy and beyond - to "polyamory," or group marriage.

Kurtz asked, "Where does it stop? If we allow same sex couples to marry, why wouldn't we allow groups to marry? Why wouldn't we allow classic Mormon old-fashioned style polygamy? There's really no limit."

Gay rights activists call these scare tactics. But traditional marriage advocates, such as Maggie Gallagher, president of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, say it is not about fear- mongering, it's about the abolition of marriage itself.

"If same-sex marriage is accepted as a real marriage, as a real form of marriage,” Gallagher said, “that's the point at which you fundamentally change the meaning of the word. So mother no longer points to father. Husband no longer points to wife."

Kurtz points out that the gay marriage debate is now being framed as a civil rights issue.

"Once the government gives benefits to everyone, it's as if it was giving special benefits to no one. And then marriage will be gone," Kurtz said.

He added, "The argument is that everyone has a right to have their intimate personal decisions recognized by the state. If we accept that argument for same-sex couples there is really no basis for saying to a group of people who want to get married, ‘No, you can't get married.'”

But supporters of group marriage say they have the right to marriage as they see fit.

Robyn Trask is managing editor of "Loving More" magazine, which she describes as a resource for people in alternative, non-monogamous relationships.

"There are a lot of people in the polyamorous community who do want that ability to marry more than one person, to be in some kind of legal partnership with more than one person…,” Trask asserted. “We've changed. We've grown as people. Marriage has changed. What we want in partnership has changed. It's no longer a survival mode, and it’s no longer arranged by parents. It's about love. And it's about commitment. It's about what's in our hearts. And so, if it's in our hearts to love, we should have that right to love whomever. I mean, to me, that's a fundamental basic right."

Trask said she has a "poly" disposition. She says monogamy just does not work for her. Polyamory is a way to be true to herself. She says to deny those feelings would be a way of denying herself.

"I would often fall in love with more than one person at once,” Trask explained. “I would feel torn. I would feel like I was having to choose. And how do you choose between your heart and your heart?"

Well, if you are polyamorous, you do not have to choose. At least not according to former University of Chicago Law School Professor Elizabeth Emens. Emens is a family law expert who pushes for legalized group marriage.

"We view this historical moment, when same-sex couples begin to enter the institution of marriage as a unique opportunity to question the mandate of compulsory monogamy," Emens said.

Gay marriage defenders have long dismissed the polygamy issue as irrational. They argue that there is no comparison between homosexual and plural marriage. But in the wake of the 2003 Supreme Court decision, which struck down laws against homosexuality, some say legalized polygamy may not be that far off.

David Frum, a scholar for the American Enterprise Institute, remarked, "Today, the people who are advocates of same-sex marriage are denying that polygamy is ever going to come up. But this is not a prediction. This is an observation. It is already coming up “

Even the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has weighed in. The president of the ACLU recently said that they support "the freedom of choice for mature, consenting individuals," and that polygamy is one of the "fundamental rights" they will defend.

"When people think in this country about polygamy,” Frum stated, “they think about the problems in the Mormon Church in the last century. And you know, they say to themselves, well, they're these primitive-looking guys out in the trailer parks, in distant rural areas…But once polygamy hooks up with multiculturalism…once it's well-spoken advocates,… are demanding this as a matter of religious liberty, I think you'll find that American institutions have as much trouble saying ‘no’ as British, Canadian, French, and Dutch institutions have had.”

Polygamy has a range of defenders, including evangelical Christians. Mark Henkel is founder of the Christian polygamy organization, TruthBearer.org. He says Christian polygamists believe husbands are called to love their wives, as Christ loved the churches, according to Scripture.

"We're talking about what consenting, un-coerced, non-abused adults choose to do, and the idea of what we call forced polygamy, that basically creates an obligation or enslaves woman,” Henkel said. “That is just horrendous."

"For a Christian polygamist, for instance,” Henkel added, “nobodies rights are being infringed, and government has no business in being involved in that…And certainly polygamy is not a sin according to the Bible. But it's illegal in the United States? It's illegal primarily because, first of all, individuals have thought it was a sin. That becomes a circular argument: Why is it a sin? Because it's against the law. Why is it against the law? Because it's a sin."

Sin or no sin, one thing is for sure - it is still illegal, at least for now. But because of concerns over what courts might do, marriage defenders say the time is ripe for the proposed Constitutional Marriage Amendment, which would define marriage as the union of one man and one woman. This would ban same-sex marriage, and stop polygamy later.

Frum said, "Our defense of this model of marriage, it's the greatest joy that people can have in this life. It's the school of democracy…It's the institution where children learn to become self- commanding adults, ready to play their parts as citizens…They have learned all of this in the American family, built on egalitarian marriage between men and women, raising children with authority and with love. You change that model, you change everything."

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