10 Dating Tips for Christian Singles
By Dr. Linda Mintle
You are dating an incredibly good-looking guy. You both feel the attraction building up. What do you do? Now is not the time to decide! It’s too difficult to think when passion overtakes you. You must decide before you go on the date what your limits will be.
1) Do not be unequally yoked.
Take II Cor. 6:14 seriously.
Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (NLT)
If you are dating someone who doesn’t have a personal relationship with Christ, you are playing with fire. If you fall in love, what will you do? Don’t let the relationship progress to a physical point and then hope you can cut it off later.
2) Put on the armor of God daily.
You need all the help you can get in today’s world. Are you spending time with God? Do you depend on Him to meet your needs of love and security? You can resist temptation if you put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20).
3) Put obedience over passion.
Not everything we do that’s right, feels good. In fact, usually the opposite is true. It feels incredibly good to give in to passion. But, the authority of Christ needs to take precedence over your physical drives. Society tells you to give in to the moment. Christ tells you to be obedient to His word.
4) Physical expression must be appropriate.
Physical touch/intimacy should correspond with commitment. This doesn’t mean anything goes if you are engaged. Physical touch should be in the context of a meaningful relationship, not reduced to satisfaction of personal need.
5) Limits must be set mutually.
Both partners should take responsibility for setting limits. Mutual boundary keeping reflects maturity.
6) Examine your personal motives.
What is your motivation -- power and control, gratifying your own ego, meeting a selfish need, or genuine affection?
7) Is there too much physical and too little other?
If the social, emotional, spiritual dimensions are missing or lacking, you are out of balance. If you can’t stand the person but have a great physical relationship, rethink the relationship.
8) Less is better.
If one person is uncomfortable with any type of physical expression, don’t do it. You should respect and honor each other. Don’t push a date to do anything that makes him/her feel uncomfortable.
9) Be guided by love versus lust.
Love is the fruit of the Spirit. From love comes self-control. Operate in love, not lust.
10) Allow the Holy Spirit to direct and lead you.
If you feel convicted of certain behaviors, stop doing them.
Special Note: If you are a teen, you must honor your parents and respect their counsel (Ephesians 6:2-3). You are subject to parental authority. Don’t be sexually active just because you can get away with it.
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Dr. Linda Mintle is a
Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American
Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as well as a licensed clinical
social worker with over 20 years in psychotherapy practice.
For more articles and info, visit www.drlindahelps.com.
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