SPIRITUAL BATTLES

A Black Dog Followed Me Home

By Julie Ferwerda

CBN.com – "Skipping out the door into my rural neighborhood, I turned up the volume of the rich worship melody coming to life through my headphones. After an unusually hectic schedule over the last few months, I was ready to get back on track. Nothing could spoil this moment that I'd finally worked into my schedule to spend time enjoying God's presence. The wintry afternoon sunshine seemed to nod in agreement as it sparkled like diamonds on the fresh snow. Breathing deeply of the clean late-winter air, my long-awaited prayer time was starting out picture perfect.

As I rounded the first corner, the biggest and most adorable dog sat at the edge of a neighbor's yard. I hadn't seen him before but we had only recently moved into this area and I wasn't familiar with all the local pets. When I called this fluffy black Newfoundland-lab mix over to me, his syrupy brown eyes begged for attention and his whole body seemed to wag with happiness. Running with excited leaps and bounds, he nearly knocked me over with huge front paws he forcefully planted in my chest. For the next several minutes I petted, and hugged, and rubbed, while he wagged, and leaped and practically grinned, eager for more.

Finally I was ready to get back to my walk and back to my focused worship time. As I started to walk away, the dog followed. Not only did he follow, he jumped on me, he playfully nipped at my arms and hands, he rubbed against my legs, and he blocked my path. It was obvious by now that he wasn't going to let me go without a fight.

"I know what to do with a pest," I said out loud to the dog. "I used to act a lot like you when I was a kid." Walking away I began to ignore the energetic beast, hoping he would go find someone else to bother.

Ignoring didn't seem to be an option when a hundred pounds of fluffy dog continued jumping at me and biting my arms. Holding my arms above my head out of his reach, I tried to keep walking.

The dog wasn't to be deterred. He followed, and jumped, and nipped. He begged, and distracted, and pleaded for attention. He blocked, and tripped, and got in the way. More focused on avoiding the dog and holding my arms overhead, I certainly wasn't able to worship like I had hoped. In fact, I nearly forgot my intent.

After another few hundred feet of sheer canine assault, I knew what had to be done. I didn't want to do it, but there was no other choice.

"Go home! Get lost! Beat it!" I shouted, trying to chase him away. The dog would run away a few feet but as soon as I turned my back, he started following me again. I stomped my feet, yelled louder, and I even ran after him waving my arms around like a crazy woman. The dog didn't leave, but the neighbors looking out their windows did think they had an interesting new neighbor.

"Okay Lord. You know how I really wanted to focus on You right now. What is going on here? How am I ever going to enjoy this time of worship with all this distraction?"

Suddenly a parable I had heard a few years earlier came to mind. It was about how each of us as Christians has two natures that vie for the control of our lives: Our old sin nature we inherited from Adam, and our new nature, which we inherited when we came to Christ through His redemptive work on the cross. In the parable, these two natures are compared to dogs, the old nature of sin is your black dog and the new nature of righteousness is your white dog. The two dogs are enemies and have the mission of subduing the other. Whenever you make choices for gratifying your old nature and fleshly passions with sinful choices, you feed your black dog. Whenever you make choices for righteousness, purity and spiritual passions, you feed your white dog. The dog you feed the most will eventually grow stronger and overpower the other.

As the persistent pest sunk his teeth playfully into my glove once again, I felt the Lord speaking to me. As of late, my black dog began to overpower my white dog. I had allowed my hectic schedule to begin dictating my priorities, pushing my relationship with God down near the bottom. Morning prayer and Bible reading were put off until "later" while all the urgent matters were taken care of, but too often later would never come. When I missed my all-important early morning appointment with God, many other important disciplines and priorities got out of line as well. Diet, exercise, and sleep habits also became erratic, making energy low and stress even higher. The cycle was born: The more out of control things became the more tired and depressed I felt, and the less likely I was to get up and have my time with God.

It was suddenly obvious which dog I had been feeding. Although the black dog in my spiritual life looked friendly, harmless, and even inviting at first, I had encouraged him too much and now he demanded all my attention. Frequent feedings had fattened him up to the point that his strength was great and change had become a monumental effort. Conversely, I had let my white dog shrink down to a starved stray-weak and almost completely subdued. I knew it was time to make a change.

Laughing out loud, I thanked God. To think that He loved me so much He would actually bring this pesky pet from the natural world to get my attention and remind me of the battle of the dogs in my spiritual life. Right then and there, I began practicing techniques for shrinking the big black dog. I began to starve him of the attention he was seeking, and to pay attention to my white dog.

At first, he still jumped and nipped, but after several minutes of not being acknowledged, he began to venture away a few feet. After a few more minutes, he began to go off and check things out by the wayside-other dogs…trees…fence posts…car tires. He always came back to see if I would acknowledge him, but as long as I completely ignored him, he no longer harassed me. Continuing on, I willfully focused upon my worship music and prayers.

About a mile later, as my house came into view, the dog was still hanging strong. I was annoyed that he was still with me, but at least he wasn't bothering me anymore. Starting up my driveway, I finally asked God, "So, Lord, I've been ignoring this black dog. I'm feeding my white dog right now by spending time with you. When will the black dog finally leave me alone?"

"As soon as you get home," the inner voice replied.

Pushing the eager black dog's head back outside so I could close the door to my house, I knew the lesson was complete. I will never totally get rid of the black dog in this life -- in this body. He will always be lumbering along beside me, waiting for an opportunity to get my focus and attention. But I will continue to feed my white dog and someday…someday I will finally get home and leave the black dog behind.

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7: 21-25

Julie is the author of The Perfect Fit...Piecing Together True Love and has written articles for other publications such as Marriage Partnership, Brio & Beyond, HomeLife, Discipleship Journal, and Revolve III Biblezine Project for teen girls (Thomas Nelson). To order the book or to find out more go to: www.JulieFerwerda.com.

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