Joy in the Midst of
By Micca Campbell
Proverbs 31 Ministries
In a seven-foot ditch that surrounds my sister's house, fumes
ignited from the substance my husband was using to waterproof her
basement, when the air-conditioner clicked on. The explosion left
him severely burned. In the hospital, I helplessly watched him lay
in excruciating pain for eight days before he died. I found myself
alone, a brand new mother and a widow at the age of 21. How would
I get through this crisis?
During the following days, I often turned to God's Word for answers.
A verse in the book of James annoyed me as I read "count it
all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing
of your faith produces patience. Let patience have its perfect work,
so that you may be perfect, complete and lacking in nothing"
(1:2-4, NKJ). Where was the joy, I wanted to ask James, when I walked
into the emergency room and couldn't recognize my husband? His skin
had turned completely black, his head was twice the normal size, and
the skin on his arms was missing? Yet, the Bible said I would experience
While some grief, such as death, may take a lifetime to heal, the
good news is that during that lifetime you can, once again, experience
joy. Over the years, I've found joy by discovering that my grief is
in fact working for my good. Still, having joy doesn't mean that I
will never feel pain. God created my emotions so it's acceptable to
grieve. On the other hand, I don't have to remain in dismay. Looking
at my life before grief, during grief, and after grief, combined with
God's Word, I began to see the purpose of my burden. God was at work
in my grief "making me perfect, complete and lacking in nothing"
(James1: 4, NKJ).
My life before grief felt as if all of my dreams had come true.
Not long after we were married, God blessed us with a beautiful baby
boy. Life was going just as I had planned. However, did you know that
God's plans are not always our plans? Isaiah 55:8-9 says it like this,
"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways.
For My ways are higher than yours ways, and My thoughts than your
thoughts" (NKJ). I didn't know God had a different plan than
mine until the night my husband died. As a result, my life of grief
My life during grief was lonely without him. I felt angry and betrayed
by the God I had loved since I was a little child. I locked those
feelings in my heart, as if God didn't know how I felt toward Him.
Then one night I reached a desperate point, and cried out to God.
Bursting through the door to the throne room of grace, I shook my
fist in His face and boldly questioned, "Why, why did you do
this to me?' Oh God, I need to know why!"
Just as a mother runs to her screaming child, so did God the Father
run to me. I didn't see Him with my eyes or touch Him with my hands,
but I felt His presence consume me as if God poured Himself over my
entire body. In the comfort of His presence, I was compelled to read
Psalm 139. "Is there anyplace you can go from my spirit? If
you climb to the sky, I am there! If you go underground, I am there!"
(v.7-8, The Message). I knew then that my Lord had not betrayed
me. He had come to say, "I am here!" Healing began as I
cried out to God and allowed Him to carry me through the painful moments.
This process continued until He lifted me to a new level of grace.
Life after grief grew brighter, as I focused on His promises instead
of my circumstances. Grief usually offers two choices. I can despise
it and die in my anger and bitterness, or I can live again by confessing
my feelings and trusting God. I choose life. Paul said in Romans that
"we know that all things work together for good to those who
love God and are called according to His purpose" (8:28,
NKJ). I believe that through this passage God is saying, "in
this fallen world, not all of your experiences are going to be good
ones, but because you love and obey Me, I will make them good."
Still, why should I believe God is working for good when it feels
so bad? Because His Word says that nothing can separate me from His
love, and I choose to believe that. I like the way The Message
interprets Romans 8:38. "Do you think anything or anyone can
drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way!
Not trouble, not hard times, not hate, not hunger, not homelessness,
not threats, backstabbing, not even the worst of sins can keep us
from his love!" I've learned not to judge God's love for
me by my circumstances, but by the cross where He suffered and died
Consequently, grief has made me stronger, more mature and patient
so that I'm able to handle the trials to come. Plus, I've learned
that joy can be found by believing that God loves me in all things,
and is working for my good, conforming me to the image of Christ.
God has also kept His promises by blessing me with a wonderful new
husband, two more beautiful children, and a heart that believes my
Lord is good
all the time.
How can you experience joy in the midst of your grief? First, draw
close to God by crying out and allowing Him to meet you in your pain.
Second, stop asking, "What am I going to do?" Instead ask,
"What is God going to do?" God is not working to destroy
you, but to re-create you. He is making you strong and Christ-like
so that you're able to finish the race. Finally, choose life by trusting
God and not your circumstances. As you do, you'll gain a renewed love
for Him, as His love enables you to encompass joy in the midst of
Micca Campbell is a wife, mother of three and a member of the Proverbs
31 Ministries Speaker Team. With wisdom beyond her years and the authenticity
of one who has experienced grief, Micca shares how God is enough for
even the darkest times of life. For more information or to book Micca
for an upcoming women's event, please visit the Speakers section at
or call 1-877-P31-HOME.
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