Are You a Confident Parent?
By Jim Burns
Author, Confident Parenting
If a parent’s goal is to raise his or hear children into responsible adults – not just to make kids happy – it’s essential to have a plan. But many moms and dads find themselves making it up as they go along, with little consistency or purpose.
In Confident Parenting (Bethany House), national radio host Jim Burns draws from his more than 20 years experience counseling hundreds of families to help parents develop an effective strategy for raising healthy, whole children.
Confident parenting may sound like an oxymoron, Burns admits. “I fluctuate between knowing the right stuff to do and absolutely flying by the seat of my pants,’ says the father of three daughters. But he shows readers that with perseverance and endurance, strategy, and intentionality, they can create a grace-filled home.
In his book, he offers these seven steps to parenting with confidence.
A confident parent perseveres and will:
1. Overcome Negative Family Patterns
Even if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you can be the “transitional generation.” You can break the chain of dysfunction from your past and help your children move beyond negative family patterns.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Plan and Purpose
In the days of Jesus, the Hebrews often followed a plan and a purpose for their parenting right from Scripture. It was a blueprint for passing focus and faithfulness from generation to generation. We have moved away from this plan and it’s time to recapture it.
3. Communicate With Affection, Warmth, and Encouragement
You can radically change the atmosphere in your home with affection, warmth, and encouragement (A.W.E.). Too often we use shame-based parenting techniques instead of A.W.E. It’s time we treated each other with grace and love.
4. Find Replenishment for Overcrowded Lives
When we are dangerously tired, it becomes far too easy to be distracted. We start to feel numb to the full range of human emotion and make poor parenting and relational mistakes. Good things do not always come through unceasing activities and a heightened pace of life.
5. Create a Grace-Filled Home With Consistent Discipline
Rules without relationship will equal rebellion. We need to give our children clear moral boundaries and enough grace to feel loved and secure.
6. Bring Security and Honor to the Home Through Parental Blessings
The best answer to a child’s longing for security and acceptance is to provide a biblical sense of blessing. Even if we didn’t receive a God-honoring blessing from our parents, we can bring security and acceptance to our children through blessings and celebrating their rites of passage.
7. Raise Kids Who Love God and Have a Proper Love for Themselves
With a parenting “map,” you can build a legacy of faith and love from generation to generation.
A caller to my daily radio broadcast asked me if there were any guarantees that her children would grow up without deep problems. I had to be honest—there are none. In fact, some of the greatest parents I know have had moments of heartache with their children. Even so-called experts in the field of parenting and family have had their share of crash-and-burn experiences with their own kids. However, with a plan and purpose, the risk factors are much improved in your favor. This job called parenting is anything but easy. But there is no higher calling on earth. So let’s together become more confident parents.
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Excerpted from: Confident Parenting by Jim Burns,
Copyright © 2007; ISBN 9780764202070.
Published by Bethany House Publishers, used by permission. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.
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