relationship with Jesus defines who you are more than
your relationship with others.
How Can You Help When a Friend Gets Dumped?
Let them talk it out. They need someone to be with
more than someone who thinks they have all the answers
(I’m all ears, said Dumbo!)
Just hang out. Time is a great healer and it will
take some time for their hurting to subside. Just
be there for them.
Don’t make it worse than it already is. Stay
positive and don’t run the other person down.
The truth is “It just didn’t work out.”
Besides, they may get back together and then where
will you be?
Don’t let it become a “Men/Women are
Remind your friend that they are still a good person
by telling them things you appreciate about them.
You are there to help them. Don’t try to turn
the conversation to your own problems.
Help them count their blessings, not their shortcomings.
Be willing to laugh with them as well as cry with
What If I'm Dumped?
Breaking up is one reason why pursuing friendships can be a wise
decision. Unless you are in one of those magical relationships
where you meet the person you marry in grade school or something
– and those are pretty rare – you are going to have
to deal with a breakup or two in your high school years. But if
you choose to date, just know breakups have happened to others
and they have survived it, so you can too.
Yet knowing that doesn’t really help much when you’re
in the midst of it. It hurts a lot to have someone break up with
you. (But only for the first couple hundred years –
the the pain will begin to ease!) Knowing that you will survive
is a good first step, but what can you do in the midst of it hurting
1. Talk it out. Being with a parent or friend
2. Remember that you are loved. Even if you
don’t feel it right now, you are still loved. Jesus loves
you. Your parents love you. Your friends love you. Hang on to
that love right now.
3. Count your blessings. There are a lot of
things worse in life than breaking up. Put it in perspective.
4. Forgive the other person. Holding a grudge
will do more to hurt you in the long run than them. Forgive
them for the hurt you are feeling.
5. Go on with life. Don’t let your hurt
keep you from going on with life. It is okay to grieve for a while,
but you also need to get on with life. Besides, moving on with
your regular activities can help you get your mind off of it and
help you heal. (And 6. Remember there are more frogs in the
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
As the old saying goes, “There are two sides to every coin.”
What if you are in a dating relationship that is moving too fast
or seems to be heading more toward manipulation than friendship?
How do you slow things down with minimal hurt to the other person?
Here are some things to remember when you need to break off a
1. Do it personally. It is too easy to break
up by writing a note, through a friend, or over the phone. (So
I can’t just disappear, either? This is hard!) Go to
their house or a neutral location and talk it out.
2. Pray about it before you go. Pray that you
do the right things and then pray for the other person in advance.
3. Face the music. Be direct and firm, but not
tactful. Don’t put it off if you know it needs to happen.
4. Pick a good time. A big occasion such as
a prom is a bad time to break up. If you need to, do it long before
that and go with someone else. Or, if time is short, and you can,
go as friends in a group so that it reduces the pressure but you
still don’t miss out on the big event.
5. Be honest, but not cruel. If you have cared
for that person for some time, then you owe them an explanation
for why you are breaking it off. Keep it simple. Don’t run
them down. Hopefully it will be a time for both of you to grow.
A lot of people get hurt because the other person is simply too
self-absorbed to be courteous in such situations. Simply treating
the other person the way you would want to be treated can make
it easier for both of you.
Getting God Involved
Talk to God about your breakup and ask for His wisdom and help.
Sit for a while and listen. Write down anything that He brings
to your mind.
Now take a minute to pray about these. If you are unsure how
to pray, you can use the prayer below or make up one of your own.
Father, I know that You love me. Help me to feel that love
at this time. I also know that You will see me through this. Thank
You for Your healing presence and comfort right now in this place.
Please also allow me to remain friends with (the other person’s
name). Lord, I forgive them and pray for Your blessings on their
life as they go through this as well. I pray it will be a chance
for both of us to grow closer to You. Amen.
Something God Has Promised YOU
“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost
what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the
One most dear to you.” – Matthew 5:4 The
Where is God When It Hurts?
A Comforting, Healing Guide for Coping with Hard Times
by Philip Yancey (Zondervan, 1990)
peace with God.
Want more articles for teens? Visit CBN.com
Excerpted from The
Pocket Guide for Teens: The Unauthorized Guide to Life from A
to Z, (c) 2004 by Honor Books. Used with permission from
Cook Communications Ministries. May not be further reproduced.
To order, www.cookministries.com.
All rights reserved.
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