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Pornography grieves God.
You are part of the problem when you purchase a magazine
or a ticket to a movie that objectifies women.
Pornography IS NOT just another form of entertainment.
It degrades you and the one you look at.
A woman’s value does NOT depend on the attractiveness
of her body. God made every woman inherently valuable
and valued.
Pornography WILL hurt you. You only feel immortal
and bullet proof at 17. You’re not.
Women do NOT enjoy being degraded, overpowered, or
treated violently no matter what a film or music video
may show you. Women in the videos are being paid to
act that way.
Pornography WILL negatively affect your overall behavior
and attitudes towards women. Filth in=filth out.
No real woman can live up to the unrealistic and
unhealthy expectations created by perverse fantasy
images.
Pornography is sin.
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PORNOGRAPHY
Flirting with Temptation: A Little
Porn Never Hurt Anyone, Right?
By Julie Ferwerda
CBN.com –
“Unless I starve my eyes from sexual sin I’ll
never see what’s truly beautiful again…I commit my
eyes.”
Steve Siler wrote those lyrics for a powerful
compilation CD for guys, Somebody’s Daughter: Confronting
the Lies of Pornography.
What? Starve my eyes from something so
deliciously fun and erotic—something nobody knows that I
am thinking anyhow?! What’s the harm in looking…and
replaying over and over…and fantasizing a little? It’s
not like I’m DOING IT or anything. I’m a Christian.
I need some outlet for my sexual energy!
Maybe you think pornography is harmless fun.
If you do, Steve wants to show you the other side — the side
you forget when you are enjoying the feel-good-for-the-moment
kind of sensations.
Why did you put together a whole CD on pornography?
Steve: One night seven years ago, I got a call
from a dear friend of mine who was completely at the end of his
rope. Though he was a committed believer, married to a beautiful
young woman and the father of two precious little girls, he was
really struggling with pornography. After praying with him and
offering myself as an accountability partner, I agreed to attend
a sex addiction meeting with him. He and I wound up writing the
song "Somebody’s Daughter" together right in the
middle of that trial which is one of the reasons I believe it
resonates with such power and truth.
“Why do I see only flesh and look right past her
heart? I try to tell myself I can’t help what I feel—then
I remember. She’s somebody’s daughter. Somebody’s
child. Somebody’s pride and joy. Somebody loves her for
who she is inside.” -- Lyrics from Somebody’s
Daughter
Through the course of the next couple of years I came across
several men in the Christian music industry who were struggling
with this issue—three of whom helped with the making of
this CD. I realized then that this is a big problem in the church
and not just in the culture. And even though I had never thought
of pornography as a personal struggle, I began to examine my own
behavior and I did not like what I found. In fact, using Ephesians
5:3 as the standard—“Among you there must not
be even a hint of sexual immorality”—I was able
to come up with a list of many ways I too had fallen short. While
I had been an active, practicing Christian since I was 23, I had
never set a godly standard for my sexual thought life or disciplined
my eyes. As a result I looked at images in magazines and movies
through the years that I should not have. I began to see how this
stole energy and intimacy from my relationship with my wife.
The CD song, “Never Shake His Hand,” refers
to never allowing yourself to entertain or play with temptation
or evil, in this context pornography. Is it possible for a teen
guy in our culture to stay away from it?
Steve: There is no doubt that young men in our
culture are dealing with an unprecedented flow of accessible sexual
material—even in the seemingly “safe” places.
Commercials during football games, PG-13 movies, billboards, magazine
ads…it’s everywhere. Current trends in girls’
fashions certainly don’t give guys a break either.
What’s a hot-blooded teenager with hormones raging through
his body to do? First, he needs to make a commitment to God about
the way he is going to live his life and also to make decisions
about how to prevent temptation or what he will do when confronted
with inappropriate sexual images before he sees them. Using the
computer or TV in open areas of the home are decisions that will
help. He needs to realize that every female on the planet is a
precious creation of a Holy God who desires that she be treated
with dignity—cherished and honored for who she is on the
inside. He also needs to surround himself with friends and mentors
who will reinforce good decisions and hold him accountable.
Think of it is this way. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t
do if Jesus was sitting next to you—because He is.
Lastly, if you do slip up and “Shake His Hand,” remember
that we serve a forgiving and redemptive God. You are a human
being and human beings make mistakes. Come clean with God and
with an accountability partner and move on. Don’t let guilt
win out. The most important thing is to keep everything out in
the light. That’s where the truth—and the freedom—is.
What’s so bad about a guy’s private thoughts?
I mean, aren’t a few occasional images he looks at relatively
harmless?
Steve: First of all, a guy needs to realize
that pornography is not a victimless crime. Most of the women
who star in porno films come from a background of sexual abuse,
so the pornography is often a second victimization. He also needs
to ask himself this question, “How would I feel if other
men were looking at my mother, my sister, or my girlfriend (or
my future wife) this dehumanizing way?”
Aside from that, pornography is addictive. It actually causes
a chemical reaction in the brain similar to cocaine. And just
like any drug, it is progressive. That means, the more you see,
the more you need to see. It becomes a cycle that sucks you in
and makes you enslaved to it. Furthermore, the images can “tattoo”
into one’s brain in a way that makes them extremely difficult
to erase. Many adult men have told me they still remember sexual
images from their teenage years that they now wish they could
forget.
I wish young men could see firsthand what many men just a few
years down the road have lost in this battle—careers, marriages,
relationships with their kids, and ironically, sexual performance.
After being intimate with a non-responsive one-dimensional figure,
a man often loses his ability to function in a sexually healthy
way with a real live human being.
Worst of all, pornography creates separation from God. There
is no way you can look at pornography on Saturday night and look
God in the eye on Sunday morning. The guilt and the shame will
not allow for the kind of closeness and intimacy with God that
you were meant to experience. This same lack of intimacy with
God will lead to painful and broken relationships with women down
the road.
Please hear what I am saying. I see it all the time. Pornography
is counterfeit. It does not deliver what it promises. It is hollow,
and ruins the true sexual experience God intends for you to have
within a committed, loving marriage relationship.
Did anything special inspire the song “All of Me?”
Steve: Yes. I was up late one night after my
wife had gone to bed and I watched something on TV I knew I shouldn’t
have. I was disgusted with myself and I was angry. The lyrics
just poured out of me. In ten minutes it was done.
“All of me. I need to surrender all my favorite sins…let
You in the places I have never let You in. I come clean. Lord
take all of me.”
Why should a guy “come clean” with an accountability
partner? Isn’t that kind of risky—what if he is rejected
and shamed about his struggle?
Steve: The instant you shine the light of truth
upon evil it scatters. By being open about his problem, a young
man will find that the evil is disempowered. It can no longer
hold him in bondage because the truth will set him free. He will
then be opened up to become everything that God created him to
be—which will be nothing short of an amazing adventure.
It takes courage for a person of any age to admit sin and failure.
My hope would be that if you are a Christian guy struggling in
this area and you go to a Christian friend whom you trust, you
will be met with unconditional love, grace, and mercy, because
that is how Jesus would respond. However, there is a possibility
that you may meet with condemnation upon confessing this sin.
Please don’t let that stop your progress! If this happens
to you, contact us or one of the agencies listed on our topics
page on the website. We will make sure to get you in touch with
people who will love you and give you hope, encouragement, and
the support you need to overcome.
Why should a teen guy “get out now?” What’s
the hurry?
Steve: It may seem like an extreme example,
but serial killer Ted Bundy, who came from a Christian home, said
before he was executed that pornography was his undoing. Research
has show that 89 percent of men in prison admitted to using pornography
on the outside and 55 percent of prisoners locked up for sex crimes
say that they performed acts on their victims that they saw in
pornographic films.
Pornography is a killer. It kills marriages (that means future
ones too). It kills families. It kills careers. And it even kills
ministries. God wants to give young men the desires of their hearts.
I would encourage young men to seek God and pursue the dreams
He has called them to, and to pray daily for the discipline to
rise above the hedonistic distractions of the world. The sooner
guys make and commit to this choice, the more blessed their lives
will be.
When we live our lives according to the guiding principles God
has given us in scripture, things just work out better. It is
no coincidence that since beginning a path of honesty and obedience
in my own life seven years ago, my marriage is better than ever.
The truest freedom comes in obedience to God, because God knows
what’s best for us.
“I’m not tortured anymore. Got no secrets. I’ve
come clean with the dark obsessions that haunted my life. Oh,
I’m free—finally free from the pain and confusion.
Made my way through the lies and delusion to this sweet release.
I’m free.”
*Lyrics taken from Somebody's
Daughter: Confronting the Lies of Pornography, Music
for the Soul, Inc., 2005. Used by permission.
For answers to questions or help dealing with struggles
in the area of pornography, visit www.musicforthesoul.org.
Steve Siler has had over 500 of his songs recorded
in the Christian, pop, and country markets and has been nominated
for four Dove Awards, winning the award in 2000 for Inspirational
Song of the Year with “I Will Follow Christ.”
CBN IS HERE FOR YOU!
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you hurting?
Are you facing a difficult situation?
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