Marriage Truths, Myths and Mysteries
By Lynetta Jordan
Excerpted from Love Without the Drama: Why Settle When Relationships Can Sizzle?
Marriage Myths and Mysteries
A couple’s marital joy should last beyond their wedding day. Whether you have been married for years or are currently single and waiting for God’s ordained mate, knowing the truth can help make your future brighter than your past. After reading this chapter, you may realize that you had some misconceptions about what marriage truly is. So let me expose more marriage myths and mysteries.
Myth 1: Marriage will resolve all of your personal issues.
Marriage will not resolve your issues. In fact, it will magnify them. Then you will affect and possibly infect your spouse with your poisonous attitude. You need to get alone with God individually to work on resolving personal issues. When two people with major issues marry they create larger issues!
Myth 2: Marriage will emotionally fulfill you.
Marriage is meant to be fulfilling, but putting the pressure on a spouse to make you happy is not healthy or realistic. Even if he or she does make you happy, he or she can’t give you lasting true joy. Some voids only Jesus can fill. Legally married people can still feel alone and misunderstood.
Myth 3: You are not a complete person without a mate.
You don’t need to be married to feel validated when God validates you. You are already valuable to Him!
Myth 4: Marriage fixes your relationship’s dating problems.
Though your expectations of marriage and the husband and wife title are great, that will not fix your problems. If you marry the wrong person, you will have more problems than when dating. If he or she was unaffectionate, unclean, stingy, verbally abusive or had any other undesirable trait before you married, guess what. It will likely still be that way. In fact, it may be worse because you married him or her without requiring him or her to be better.
Myth 5: If he/she is not what you want, change him/her.
You can’t make a person what he or she is not. Finding someone of the opposite sex who needs a little sprucing up or cheer may not be the best idea. It may boost your ego, but when that high wears off you may be stuck with someone you don’t desire. Wait until they are more mature or healed before you date them. It’s a whole lot easier to “train” children than adults. If you need a fix-up project, try painting, reupholstering or a hobby. Don’t try love.
Mystery 1: Marriage should be 50/50.
Marriage should be 100/100, requiring 100% effort from both. It should have two emotionally complete, independent (not codependent) individuals who become interdependent. Both spouses must give their all to have a successful and healthy marriage.
Mystery 2: Any female can be a wife.
A man has freewill and can legally marry any woman; however, he should be advised that every woman is not a wife. Neither is every woman his wife. Signing a legal document is a contract. It’s limited. It may change her last name, but it does not necessarily change her heart toward you. Men, when you have the wrong rib in the place where only your true missing rib fits, your heart can be punctured.
Mystery 3: Any man can be a husband.
A woman has free will, so she can marry any man that is willing to marry her. However; every man is not a husband. A woman must know that although he may be a good provider or have nice things, it does not mean that he is chosen by God to be her husband. Just like God has to prepare a woman to be a wife, He must prepare and mature a man before he becomes a husband to his God-ordained mate.
Mystery 4: A legal marriage is strong enough to keep a couple faithful to one another and in love forever.
Marriage is a recognized legal status, but its purpose is beyond legal sex and having babies. God created marriage to be a spiritual and natural relationship with the mate He predestined for you. Legal contracts can be dissolved. Partnerships end. Businesses close. A legal only marriage may not last.
Mystery 5: Since marriage was God’s original idea, every existing marriage was predestined by Him.
God did not unite every couple. Although a minister may have performed a Christian ceremony, every existing marriage has not been ordained by God. Psalms 127:1, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it,” presents two relationship building options. You can build it or wait on God to build it. When the Lord builds a relationship, your labor and whatever you encounter or endure will not be in vain. But when you attempt on your own to construct something that will ultimately fall, it results in great suffering. Some couples did not wait on the Lord, but chose to put themselves together. When you marry your kingdom mate, you can both joyfully sing the words of Psalm 118:23, “This is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes!”
Mystery 6: Christian marriages do not have to be or need to be intimate, romantic and sexually satisfying.
Christian marriages should be the most intimate since God authored marriage. Jesus was the Bible’s only person birthed by a virgin. The rest were born after couples “knew” each other. Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed is undefiled. It is a shame that some married couples make less love now than when they were dating and disobedient. Ouch! Tighten up Christian mates. Fully enjoy God’s gift!
God’s Mysterious Revelation Of “The Right Rib”
I cannot stress enough how important it is for a man to have his right rib. Husbands, being married to the right rib serves a divine purpose. God gave me a phenomenal revelation about the rib's purpose. I hope it blesses you.
First, He talked to me about the body’s anatomy. In the natural, the ribs extend from the side to the front. They are positioned just right to function as protection for the heart and lungs, both major organs. Lungs represent breath and the heart is the center of life. The Lord revealed to me that His God-ordained wife is the perfect fit for her husband’s ribcage. The right rib is divinely positioned to protect and preserve her husband’s breath and life. Like the wife in Proverbs 31:12, she will do him good and no evil forever.
A rib that doesn’t fit will loosely protect the heart and lungs. When either is punctured, a person can die quickly. In fact, the wrong rib can puncture what God created the right rib to protect. Did you get that revelation? Marrying the wrong rib can knock a man’s wind out and cause his heart to bleed. Seriously, internal injuries lead to death.
What God has joined together, let not man put asunder. A God-ordained marriage is a precious gift from the Lord. If you know you are married to your kingdom companion, the mate God created especially for you, do not take your God-given love for granted. Some people become boring spouses after they settle in marriage. Don’t be married and lazy. Celebrate your spouse and work on increasing your love and building dreams daily. Then the right rib and the right ribcage may have and enjoy love without the drama.
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