God, Where Are You?
By Gorman Woodfin
The 700 Club
Lindsay and Randy Riddle make their home in Americas heartland
in Indiana. With two beautiful daughters and two dogs theyve built the
But life was not always so kind to Lindsay. Growing up she faced unbelievable
"I had a bad attitude, a 'cant hurt me' kind of tough. On the inside
I was just scared. I never had a childhood. I felt like I was pushed into
adulthood way too early."
At birth Lindsay was given up for adoption. While the mother who adopted
her was warm and loving, several men in her "new" family made her
life a living nightmare.
was molested from the time I was 3 or 4 until I was 15 by four different men,
family and friends," she says. "Just to be able to control that situation,
they were so domineering. I felt powerless. I mean, I felt less than powerless.
By the time I was 12 or 13 I had had my first drink. It just kind of escalated
from there. I was into drugspot, a little bit of everything."
Lindsay believed God was too far away to give her any help.
"I hated myself and I hated God because I felt like God was the reason that
everything had happened," she says.
Lindsay felt totally incapacitated, so she decided to study the occult to
gain the power she longed for.
"I was learning how to read them. With crystals they say that its a
very powerful stone, almost like you can bring spirits into it," Lindsay explains.
"I would wear one around my neck I had on a chain, and the angrier I would
get, the hotter it would get, almost like it was filling up with my hatred."
Lindsay believes that one night the dark powers of the crystals brought an
evil, demonic presence into her bedroom.
was just so angry and evil looking," she recalls. "I cant even describe
it. Needless to say, I jumped out of my bed and ran into my brothers
room and stayed there the rest of the night. I knew it was a spirit of hatred,
a spirit of malice, and so I chucked the stone that next day. I havent
seen it since."
At times, Lindsay remembered praying to God as a child. Then one day she
prayed again while watching The 700 Club.
Says Lindsay, "Pat was on there and was praying for salvation. Id been
watching it, off and on, even though I wasnt devout or anything. It
was like, 'OK, we'll give this a try again and see if it works.' I tell you
what, instantaneously, as soon as I prayed the sinners prayer, everything
went off my shoulders."
While the freedom was instantaneous, Lindsays healing was a long process.
"God was able to start working through me because I was being obedient. I
was praying, I was reading the Word, and I was worshipping and being obedient,
so He was able to start a seven-year healing process," she says.
Part of that healing happened when Lindsay found out by accident about her
birth parents. At the time of Lindsays birth, her mother was only 13
years old. Her father was not much older.
"He was 15," she states. "I'm glad that they didnt because a 13 and
a 15-year-old cant raise a child. Theyre just children themselves,
so I wasnt mad at him either. I was so excited to find them all."
Lindsay also needed to ask God some hard questions.
"I was so angry because I thought, God, where were You? He said, 'I
was right there. I was right there crying, watching all that happened. I love
you, but I love them, too. It hurts Me to see one of my children doing that
to another one of My children, so what gives you the right to hate them and
not forgive them when I love them and will forgive them if they ask Me? Are
you bigger than Me?'"
Lindsay says she has learned some invaluable spiritual lessons.
"He is in control," Lindsay concludes. "He is supreme. Everything happens
for a reason. Anyone who is a child of God He uses everything to your good.
He just wants whats best for you. Hell never do anything to hurt
you, though you may be hurt by others, you may hurt yourself. Now I can open
up my eyes and hear the birds singing. I might not be fully functional in
the morning before I have coffee, but I can be thankful for everything that
I have. He has given me a peace that I had never ever known before."
CBN IS HERE FOR YOU!
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you hurting?
Are you facing a difficult situation?
A caring friend will be there to pray with you in your time of need.