Key Questions to Ask Your Mate
New Life Ministries
Your Evaluation of Our
1. In your opinion, what creates the most impasses between us?
How do I handle these impasses? In these impasses, do I break the ties in my favor
most of the time? Do my methods affect our oneness?
2. What do I do that
tramples who you are, your soul essence? In my decisions, do I respect and honor
your soul essence as I do my own? Do I seem more like a father trying to get you
to comply with my views, or more like a fellow heir who is longing to understand
3. What do I do that strips you of feeling one with me? How does
that affect your relationship with me?
4. Do you feel that we have complete
oneness? Where does our oneness break down? Do I understand my role in the breakdown,
and am I working actively on it?
Your Evaluation of My Spiritual Leadership
5. Who has the greater knowledge of the Word of God, you or me? How
does this make you feel? How does this affect your oneness with me?
When character flaws are revealed, which of us is quicker to submit to Scripture
and change? Are there character flaws in me that Ive been slow to address? Are
there some Ive refused to address? What does this reveal to you about my love
7. Who is the quickest to forgive, you or me? Who is the quickest
to ask forgiveness? How does this affect your feelings of oneness with me?
Which of us is more consistent with prayer and devotions? Which of us is more
comfortable in devotions as a couple? As a family? Does this affect our oneness?
9. Has the spiritual temperature of our relationship been rising or falling
through the years? Has my leadership brought you to a higher level than ever before?
Do I resist you when you try to raise our behavioral standards?
Evaluation of My Hearts Softness
10. Who gives in at impasses more
often, you or me?
11. Who enjoys sacrificing and serving more, you or me?
Do I have a good attitude when serving?
12. Who is inconvenienced more
often in our relationship, you or me?
13. Who is the chief servant in
our family, the best example of servanthood?
14. Lets say our pastor said
to you, I want to nominate your husband as deacon (or elder). What would be your
reservations regarding his character? What would you tell him?
calls you to submit to my authority. My leadership style should make this submission
easier. Does it?
16. To what extent do I understand that my time is not
my own? Do I often unilaterally make decisions regarding my time?
Evaluation of Me As a Servant
17. To what extent do I understand that
I dont have a right to make unilateral decisions regarding hunting, golf, work,
my friends, etc.?
18. Do you feel Ive really studied you through the years
and changed my behavior and decisions in order to honor what Ive learned about
19. Do I draw more prestige and self-esteem from my success as a leader
and husband at home, or more from my work and other accomplishments?
Have I been quick to learn new skills in our relationship and home to serve you
better and give you more freedom?
21. Do I throw my full heart into helping
you to fully live and blossom in marriage? Or do you feel that youre carrying
the heaviest load of responsibility regarding our marriage and family?
Do I make room to allow your personal gifts and your ministries to blossom? Do
you sense that your gifts and talents threaten me as a leader?
you have a strong gift in a certain area, do I honor you by allowing your opinions
to dominate my decision making in that area?
24. Do I allow for your weaknesses,
as I do my own, and lovingly make up for them with my strengths, or do I generally
judge you for them?
25. Do you feel free to confront sin in my life, or
am I so offended when you do that youd rather not bother?
from New Life Ministries
More from the
Prayer and Counseling Channel
from Regent University School of Counselling
© 2002 New Life Ministries.
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