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Danielle Williams: A Porn Star's Pain

Danielle was a porn star and a high class call girl when the reality of her vulnerability to violence and death woke her up. Read Transcript


I STARTED TO HATE MEN AT THIS

TIME BECAUSE EVERY TIME I WAS

HURT, IT CAME FROM A MAN.

DANIEL WILLIAMS BELIEVED SHE

HAD GOOD REASON TO HATE MEN.

IT BEGAN WHEN A DAY CARE

PROVIDER'S SON MOLESTED HER

STARTING AT EIGHT YEARS OLD.

HE INSTILLED THAT FEAR.

IF YOU TELL, THIS IS WHAT'S

GOING TO HAPPEN.

HE WOULD HIT ME.

I WAS SCARED OF HIM.

I WAS LIKE IF I TELL, MAYBE I'LL

GET IN TROUBLE.

SO I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

SHE LIVED WITH HER FATHER

AFTER HER PARENTS DIVORCED AND

SHE WATCHED HIM ROUTINELY BEAT

EVERY GIRLFRIEND HE HAD.

HE EVENTUALLY TURNED THAT RAGE

ONTO DANIEL, ADDING HIM TO THE

LIST OF MEN SHE HATED.

HE PICKED ME UP BY MY THROAT,

HE LIFTED ME UP AND HE THREW ME

DOWN TO THE FLOOR.

HE BEAT ME SO MUCH THAT I PASSED

OUT.

DANIEL'S FATHER WENT TO JAIL

FOR CHILD ABUSE AND SHE WENT TO

LIVE WITH HER MOTHER IN

LOS ANGELES.

THERE A MAN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

BEGAN TO INVITE YOUNG DANIEL

OVER TO HIS HOUSE.

SHE LOVED THE ATTENTION FROM

HIM, UNTIL THE DAY HE RAPED HER.

I KNEW THAT I HATED MEN EVEN

MORE, EVEN MORE.

BECAUSE NOW I'M 12 YEARS OLD AND

I HAD ALREADY BEEN MOLESTED AT

EIGHT, MY DAD TRIED TO KILL ME

WHEN I WAS TEN AND NOW THIS MAN

WHO I TRUSTED JUST RAPED ME.

I HATED MEN.

BUT YEARS LATER, DANIEL'S

ADDED TO SOFTENED.

SHE FELL IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST

TIME.

THIS OLDER MAN IS TELLING ME

EVERYTHING I WANTED TO HERE AND

MORE.

I JUST WANTED TO BE HIS.

AFTER THE FIRST TIME SHE

SLEPT WITH HIM, THE MAN TOLD HER

HE WAS A PIMP AND WANTED HER TO

BE HIS PROSTITUTE.

DANIELLE WAS DEVASTATED AND

REFUSED.

THEN SHE DISCOVERED SHE WAS

PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD.

EVERY TIME I GET WITH A GUY,

SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING.

I'M DONE.

THEN YOU TELL ME I'M PREGNANT.

I'M 13.

I'M IN 8TH GRADE.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH A

BABY?

AND THE BABY'S FATHER, THE

27-YEAR-OLD PIMP.

DANIELLE DELIVERED

PREMATURELY AND THE BABY DIED

WITHIN HOURS.

IT WAS OVER AS FAR AS ME

CARING ABOUT LIFE, ME CARING

ABOUT MYSELF, ME CARING ABOUT

MEN.

OH, MEN WAS OUT THE QUESTION.

I WAS DONE.

I HATE -- OH, MY RAGE.

IT WAS A RAGE THAT I HAD FOR

MEN.

THE SIGHT OF MEN MADE ME SICK.

A FRIEND CONVINCED HER SHE

COULD MANIPULATE AND CONTROL MEN

BY STRIPPING.

SHE STARTED DANCING IN

NIGHTCLUBS AND PROSTITUTION

QUICKLY FOLLOWED.

SHE PUSHED AWAY ANY THOUGHT THAT

WHAT SHE WAS DOING WAS WRONG.

EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD BEEN RAISED

IN A CHURCH, SHE HAD NO MORAL

CONVICTIONS.

I DIDN'T CARE.

I KNEW WHO GOD WAS.

I KNEW THAT WHAT I WAS DOING WAS

WRONG, BUT I DIDN'T CARE.

I HATED MEN AND I THOUGHT THIS

WAS A WAY TO REPAY THEM.

THAT'S HOW I LOOKED AT IT.

I'M GETTING THEM BACK FOR THEM

HURTING ME.

AND I FELT LIKE I HAD THE UPPER

HAND NOW.

BECAUSE BEFORE YOU GUYS HAD THE

UPPER HAND AND YOU WERE HURTING

ME.

NOW THE ROLES HAVE SWITCHED.

AND THAT'S HOW I LOOKED AT IT.

ONE DAY, DANIELLE WAS INVITED

ONTO THE SET OF A PORN FILM IN

HOLLYWOOD.

AND I SAW THE CHECK THAT WAS

WRITTEN OUT TO ONE OF THE GIRLS

THERE.

AND I SAID THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT

FOR DOING THAT?

WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

BECAUSE I WAS MAKING A LOT OF

MONEY AS A DANCER AND AS AN

ESCORT ALREADY, YOU KNOW.

BUT WITH THE PORN, I LOOKED AT

IT, THAT WOULD BE AN EVEN BETTER

WAY FOR ME TO MAKE EVEN MORE

MONEY.

AND I SAID, OKAY, LET'S GO FOR

IT.

AFTER SO LONG, IT BECAME NORMAL.

IT BECAME COOL THAT I WAS A PORN

STAR.

DANIELLE CONTINUED AS A CALL

GIRL AS WELL, AND ONE NIGHT SHE

ACCEPTED A CLIENT WHO TURNED OUT

TO BE A PSYCHO PATH WHO WANTED

TO KILL HER.

OPEN THE DOOR!

AND FOR THREE WEEKS THAT MAN

CAME IN THERE AND HE RAPED ME

AND HE BEAT ME AND HE TOLD ME

OVER AND OVER AGAIN I'M GOING TO

KILL YOU.

YOU'RE NOT LEAVING HERE.

AND I BELIEVED IT.

I KNEW THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO

DIE.

AND EVERY DAY I GOT WEAKER AND

WEAKER AND WEAKER, TO THE POINT

WHERE I JUST GAVE UP.

I COLLAPSED TO THE FLOOR.

AND I WEPT AND I WEPT AND I

WEPT.

BUT I LAID THERE AND I CRIED SO

MUCH THAT I COULDN'T SPEAK.

AND I GOT MY WORDS TOGETHER, AND

I SAID, LORD, IF YOU GET ME OUT

OF THIS, I'LL CHANGE MY LIFE FOR

YOU.

DON'T LET ME DIE LIKE THIS.

NOT LIKE THIS.

19 YEARS OLD?

HE HAD TO GET ME TO THAT POINT

TO SHOW ME THAT I'M GOD, I'M

STILL GOD.

IT'S ME AND YOU.

AND AT THAT VERY MOMENT I GOT MY

SALVATION.

DANIELLE PRAYED TO ACCEPT

JESUS CHRIST.

A FEW DAYS LATER, A MAN

OVERHEARD HER CRYING AND HELPED

HER ESCAPE.

SHE IMMEDIATELY SEVERED HER

RELATIONSHIPS WITH ANYONE IN THE

SEX INDUSTRY AND STARTED GOING

TO CHURCH.

SURROUNDED BY NEW FRIENDS,

DANIELLE'S LIFE BEGAN TO CHANGE.

I WAS STARTING TO FALL IN

LOVE WITH CHRIST.

AND THE MORE I DID THAT, THE

MORE HE STARTED TO PURGE ME AND

DELIVER ME AND HEAL ME.

THE MORE I REACHED OUT TO HIM,

THE MORE HE WORKED IN ME.

EVERYTHING I DIDN'T HAVE, THE

RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER, THE

RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, THE

HURT FROM MEN, HE FILLED EVERY

VOID.

DANIELLE IS NOW IN MINISTRY

FULL-TIME SHARING THE LOVE OF

JESUS CHRIST.

THERE'S NO SIN TOO BIG OR TOO

BAD FOR CHRIST.

AND WHEN EVERYONE ELSE LEAVES

YOU, HE'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR

FORSAKE YOU.

AND I'M A LIVING WITNESS, A

WALKING EXAMPLE OF WHAT CHRIST

CAN DO WITH SOMEBODY'S LIFE.

EMBED THIS VIDEO


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