CHRISTINE MARTIN LIVED EVERY
GIRL'S DREAM, THE NEWEST
CLOTHES, THE COOLEST SHOES AND
MONEY TO BURN.
I WAS USED TO HAVING VERY,
VERY NICE THINGS, AND THINGS
ACTUALLY HAD A HOLD ON ME.
IT WAS A MATTER OF THE THING AND
THE HOME AND THE NICE CAR AND
THE COUNTRY CLUB OR THE YACHTS
OR DRIVING AROUND IN BEAUTIFUL
THINGS WITH YOUR WINDOWS DOWN SO
PEOPLE COULD SEE YOU.
BUT BEHIND THE COUNTRY CLUBS
AND PRIVILEGED LIFESTYLE,
CHRISTINE WAS LIVING A
NIGHTMARE.
THE MOLESTATION HAPPENED FROM
THE AGES FROM THREE TO 13, SO IT
HAPPENED A VERY LONG TIME OF MY
LIFE.
IT WAS FORCEFUL, NOT PLEASANT.
IT WAS REALLY EMBARRASSING AND
CONTINUAL, NONSTOP.
THE ABUSE CAME FROM NOT ONE,
BUT TWO MEN IN HER EXTENDED
FAMILY.
BUT CHRISTINE NEVER TOLD A SOUL.
I WAS THIS INNER KID INSIDE
SCREAMING, WANTING TO TELL
SOMEBODY, PLEASE, HELP ME.
BUT I WAS TOLD DO NOT SAY
ANYTHING, DO NOT TELL YOUR
PARENTS, NO ONE IS TO KNOW, THIS
IS OUR SECRET.
WHILE THE PHYSICAL ABUSE
EVENTUALLY STOPPED, THE
EMOTIONAL PAIN ONLY GOT WORSE.
I WAS VERY, VERY DAMAGED,
VERY HURTING, VERY BROKEN,
LONELY, INSIGNIFICANT.
I FELT LIKE NO ONE WANTED ME.
AND JUST WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE
COULDN'T FEEL ANY LOWER, SHE WAS
RAPED AT A PARTY BY A STRANGER
WHEN SHE WAS 16.
I HAD HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING
DIRTY FEELING RELIVED ALL OVER
AGAIN IN THIS HORRIBLE DARK
STILLNESS JUST CAPTIVATED EVERY
PART OF ME.
I SAT IN THE SHOWER.
I MADE MYSELF BLEED.
I SCRUBBED
SO HARD AND SCRATCHED MY BODY.
I JUST WANTED TO GET EVERY PART
HE HAD TOUCHED OFF ME AND AWAY
FROM ME.
I TOLD ONE GIRLFRIEND AND SHE'S
LIKE, YOU BETTER KEEP IT QUIET,
YOU KNOW.
THIS IS A GOOD SCHOOL AND YOUR
PARENTS AND YOU DON'T WANT TO
MAKE A FUSS.
SO I KEPT IT QUIET.
THEN HER FATHER LOST HIS
CONTRACTING BUSINESS.
SHE COULDN'T HIDE HER PAIN
BEHIND A LAVISH LIFESTYLE AND
USED OTHER THINGS, DRUGS,
ALCOHOL AND PROMISCUITY TO MASK
HER PAIN.
I DID NOT HAVE ANY VALUE FOR
MYSELF AS A WOMAN.
A BODY WAS JUST -- YOU KNOW,
THERE'S NO RESPECT FOR IT.
IT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN
ADVANTAGE OF IT, SO WHY DOES IT
MATTER TO GIVE IT AWAY.
I WOULD DO DRUGS EVERY SINGLE
WEEKEND.
I'D SMOKE POT, I WOULD GET HIGH,
I WOULD SKIP SCHOOL.
BUT ALL THAT CHANGED ONE DAY
WHEN SHE WAS 19.
SHE HAD BEEN JOYRIDING WITH A
FRIEND.
I LOST CONTROL OF MY CAR AND
MY CAR HAD SPUN IN 360s FOR
ABOUT 50 YARDS.
AND I REMEMBER MY CAR TEETERING
OVER THE EDGE OF THE BRIDGE.
I THOUGHT, OH, MY GOD, I'M GOING
TO DIE WITH THE FISH.
I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT CLOTHES,
PEOPLE, FAMILY.
I CRIED OUT AND SAID, DEAR GOD,
PLEASE RESCUE ME.
THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER UTTERING.
I REMEMBER AS MY CAR WAS ON FIRE
TEETERING OVER THIS BRIDGE A
HUGE -- I KNOW IT WAS AN ANGELIC
PRESENCE, ABOUT FIVE STORIES
TALL, MASSIVE, WIDE IN STATURE.
JUST STRONG AND GRAY.
LOOK TOOK MY CAR.
IT WAS LIKE THESE HANDS ALMOST
SWOOPPED DOWN LIKE THIS AND TOOK
MY CAR AND TEETERED IT RIGHT OFF
THE BRIDGE ONTO THE GRASS.
MY CAR DOOR FLUNG OPEN AND I
JUST REMEMBER ROLLING OUT AND
LAYING ON THE GRASS.
WHILE SHE WAS THERE, SHE
THOUGHT ABOUT THE ANGEL THAT SET
HER CAR TO SAFETY.
THEN SHE REMEMBERED GOING TO
CHURCH AS A CHILD AND KNEW IT
WAS FINALLY TIME TO GIVE HER
HEART TO JESUS.
AND THERE WAS THIS UNCOMMON
PEACE THAT I HAD NOT EVER KNOWN
THAT HAD COME OVER MY BODY AND
SWEPT OVER MY SOUL.
AND I FELT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
MY LIFE THAT I WAS VALUABLE,
THAT SOMEONE CARED ABOUT THIS
GIRL, THAT I WAS GOING TO BE
OKAY.
AND THAT DAY RADICALLY
TRANSFORMED MY LIFE AND IT'S
LIKE I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS
JESUS THAT EVERYONE HAD TALKED
ABOUT BUT I HAD NEVER KNOWN.
HE BECAME SO REAL TO ME ON THAT
PARTICULAR DAY, JUST AS REAL AS
I'M TALKING ABOUT HIM NOW, THAT
I KNEW THAT ALL THE PAIN AND OF
THE TRAGEDY AND EVERYTHING THAT
I HAD GONE THROUGH, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE WAS NOT IN VEIN BECAUS IN VAIN BEC AUSE AT
19 THERE WAS A PURPOSE FOR MY
LIFE.
I WASN'T GOING TO BE SOME
WASHED-UP DRUGGY USING PEOPLE.
SHE AND HER HUSBAND LOVE TO
SHARE WHAT CHRIST HAS DONE IN
THEIR LIFE.
MY LIFE IS AMAZING.
JESUS HAS BECOME LITERALLY MY
FRIEND.
HE'S SO REAL TO ME.
HE IS THE FIBER OF WHY I DO WHAT
I DO, WHY I BREATHE, WHY I LIVE,
WHY I EXIST.
IT IS ALL BECAUSE GOD SHOWED ME
GRACE.
