The Christian Broadcasting Network

Browse Videos

Share Email

Healing a Marriage When Trust is Broken

When Chris Beall admitted his pornography addiction to his wife Cindy, they made the tough decision to work on marriage restoration. Read Transcript


IT HAS BEEN 32 YEARS, AND

I CAN STILL TELL YOU EXACTLY

WHAT I LOOKED AT, 32 LATER.

CHRIS BEAL WAS 8 YEARS

OLD WHEN SH HE SAW HIS

FIRST PORN MAGAZINE.

THERE WAS A KID IN THE

NEIGHBORHOOD WHO'S BROTHER

WORKEDAT A GAS STATION AND

BROUGHT OLD ISSUES HOME.

IT WASN'T UNTIL THE

INTERNET CAME OUT IN LATE

COLLEGE THAT IT WAS JUST GAS

ON A FIRE.

BECAUSE NOW YOU DON'T HAVE

TO GO ANYWHERE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH

THE HUMILIATION OF BUYING

SOMETHING AT A STORE, AND

THAT'S WHERE IT JUST WENT

FROM KIND OF A CONSTANT

STRUGGLE TO A ALL-OUT

ADDICTION.

Reporter: CHRIS MET

CINDY WHILE BOTH WERE

ATTENDING COLLEGE IN TEXAS.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CALL

IT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

BECAUSE WE HAD SEEN EACH

OTHER BEFORE.

BUT WE KNEW.

I KNEW HE WAS IT.

Reporter: CHRIS AND

CINDY MARRIED, BUT CHRIS'

ADDICTION GOT WORSE.

IT FINALLY GOT TO THE

POINT WHERE I WAS LOOKING AT

PORNOGRAPHY EVERY DAY.

CINDY DIDN'T FULLY KNOW.

SHE KIND OF KNEW THIS WAS AN

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

STRUGGLE.

BUT SHE DIDN'T KNOW THE FULL

EXTENT.

Reporter: CHRIS WAS A

MINISTER AT CHURCH, AND HE

SPENT A LOT OF TIME AISLE IN

HIS OFFICE.

MOST OF THE TIME HE WOULD

VIEW IT, IT WAS AT WORK.

SO I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS

GETTING BAD.

AND THEN IT WENT FROM

LOOKING AT IMAGES TO

CHATTING WITH PEOPLE.

AND THEN THE UNTHINKABLE.

I KNOWINGLY, FULLY KNOWING

WHAT I'M DOING, I MET ONE OF

THEM.

I CAN NEVER SAY THAT I KEPT

MY VOW.

I BROKE MY PROMISE.

AND I WAS JUST IN THIS WORLD

OF DARKNESS.

AND I HATED MYSELF.

AND THEN I GOT UP ON STAGE

TO LEAD WORSHIP ON SUNDAY

MORNING, AND I WAS JUST -- I

WAS THE BIGGEST POSER, THE

BIGGEST HYPOCRITE.

Reporter: CHRIS'

PASTOR, CRAIG, ENCOURAGED

HIM TO BE A MAN OF

INTEGRITY, WITH NO SECRETS.

I RESONATE WITH

EVERYTHING HE IS SAYING, YET

I'M NOT THAT GUY.

I'M THE AN TINL SIS

ANTITHESIS OF THAT GUY.

AND I TRIED -- I TRIED TO

MANAGE IT.

I WAS ABLE TO DEAL WITH IT

FOR SIX WEEKS.

AND I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE

IT ANYMORE.

IT WAS AS THOUGH THE HOLY

SPIRIT HAD PUT ME IN A

CORNER AND SAID, WE ARE

GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS

ISSUE.

HE CONFESSED EVERYTHING

TO ME.

I'VE BEEN UNFAITHFUL TO YOU,

MANY TIMES, MANY DIFFERENT

WOMEN, MANY DIFFERENT PLACES

OVER THE COURSE OF ABOUT A

TWO, TWO AND A HALF-YEAR

PERIOD.

AND I'M JUST LISTENING.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

THIS HUGE WEIGHT IS NOW

GONE BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST

TIME SINCE I WAS 8 YEARS

OLD, I AM A MAN WITH NO

SECRETS.

ON THE OTHER SIDE, I'VE

TAKEN THIS BURDEN -- IT'S

NOT LIKE IT HAS RANDOMLY

WENT AWAY, BUT I PLACED IT

ON MY WIFE.

AND THE FINAL PART IS HE

SAID ONE OF THE WOMEN IS

PREGNANT, AND I'M PRETTY

SURE I AM THE FATHER.

I FOUND IT TO BE THE WORSE

DAY OF MY LIFE, AND THE NEXT

DAY I REALIZED, SO IS THAT

ONE AND THE NEXT ONE.

SO IT WAS A BUNCH OF WORSE

DAYS IN MY LIFE, ALL IN A

ROW.

AND THERE WAS NOTHING I

COULD DO TO MAKE IT BETTER.

AND SO FOR THE FIRST WEEK WE

JUST SAT SILENT FOR HOURS

AND DAYS.

AND CRIED AND TALKED, AND

SHE ASKED QUESTIONS, AND I

ANSWERED QUESTIONS.

Reporter: CHRIS ASKED

FOR CINDY'S FORGIVENESS.

CINDY DIDN'T NO WHAT TO DO

OR WHERE TO GO.

CHRIS TOLD THE STAFF AT HIS

CHURCH WHAT HE HAD DONE.

HE LOST HIS JOB, BUT HIS

PASTOR DIDN'T LOSE FAITH IN

CHRIS.

HE WAS GOING TO LEAD OUR

CHURCH THROUGH THE TRUTH.

AND THAT PETRIFIED ME.

PETRIFIED ME.

I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED THE

BODY OF CHRIST LIKE I DID

THAT DAY.

IT WASN'T THE THINGS THAT

THEY SAID.

IT WAS JUST -- THERE WAS

GENUINE LOVE.

THEY LOVED US.

I HAD SO BETRAYED THEM, AND

THEY LOVED US.

AND THAT WAS THE FIRST

MOMENT THAT I KNEW GOD WAS

UP TO SOMETHING GREAT.

Reporter: BUT CINDY

STILL NEEDED TIME TO THINK

AND PRAY.

SHE LEFT FOR A FEW WEEKS TO

STAY WITH HER MOTHER.

WHEN I GOT THERE, MY MOM

SAID, HEY, I'VE MADE AN

APPOINTMENT FOR YOU TO SEE

BROTHER DAN, HER PASTOR.

OH, LORD, REALLY?

I HAVE TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE

TO TELL ME TO STAY MARRIED

AND BE A GOOD WIFE.

AND HE SAID, WHAT YOU'VE

BEEN THROUGH IS REALLY

DIFFICULT.

NOBODY WOULD BLAME YOU IF

YOU LEFT.

I'M LIKE, YES!

AND HE SAID, BUT -- I'M

LIKE, BUT -- THERE'S A BUT

THERE.

BUT HE SAYS YOU'RE NOT A

FOOL TO STAY AND BE PART OF

THE REDEMPTIVE MOVE IN A

MAN'S LIFE.

AND I THOUGHT, GOD, I TRUST

YOU, BUT ONCE A CHEATER,

ALWAYS A CHEATER, AND I'M

GOING TO BE A DOOR MAT.

I'M GOING TO BE AN IDIOT IF

I STAY.

AND GOD IS LIKE, DO YOU

TRUST ME?

DO YOU TRUST ME?

AND FINALLY, WELL, I JUST

SAID YEAH, YOU'VE NEVER LET

ME DOWN.

I DO TRUST YOU.

THAT MOMENT HIS PEACE JUST

WASHED OVER ME, AND I WILL

JUST NEVER FORGET HAVING

THIS RENEWED SENSE OF, I

THINK WE CAN DO THIS.

AND BEFORE SHE EVEN SAID,

I'M COMMITTED TO THIS

MARRIAGE, I COULD SEE THAT

GOD HAD PUT THAT IN HER

HEART.

AND THAT WAS A GREAT DAY.

Reporter: CHRIS AND

CINDY STARTED OVER.

CINDY FORGAVE HIM

COMPLETELY, AND THEIR TRUST

IN EACH OTHER STARTED TO

GROW AGAIN.

THEY HAD TWO SONS OF THEIR

OWN.

CHRIS' THIRD SON LIVES WITH

HIS MOTHER.

AFTER A COUPLE OF YEARS,

CINDY WOULD JUST CRY BECAUSE

SHE LOVED HIM LIKE HER OWN

SON.

AND TODAY HE IS NOT A

REMINDER OF MY SIN.

HE IS A REMINDER OF THE

REDEMPTION OF GOD.

HE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST

JOYS IN THIS WHOLE TERRIBLE

STORY.

I MEAN, HE IS THE SCRIPTURE

THAT SAYS THAT GOD WILL

CAUSE ALL THINGS TO WORK

TOGETHER FOR GOOD

PERSONIFIED.

IT IS THAT LITTLE BOY.

Reporter: CHRIS AND

CINDY WILL TELL YOU THAT

THEIR

MARRIAGE

ISN'T

PERFECT; IT'S A WORK IN

PROGRESS.

I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS IN

THE BUSINESS OF PERFORMING

MIRACLES TODAY.

HE IS STILL EN THE BUSINESS

OF DOING THOSE MIRACLES.

AND MY MARRIAGE IS

JUST

THAT, A MIRACLE.

THERE

IS NO HOPE FOR

FREEDOM.

THERE IS NO HOPE FO FOR

RESTORATION UNTIL YOU CAN

JUST WADE AND THE WATERS OF

TRUTH.

WHICH IS, YOU'RE ENOUGH AND

HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN

ANYTHING.

AND IN THE MIDST OF THAT

LOVE, HAVE THE COURAGE AND

TRUST IN A GOOD GOD TO DO

WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE

FREE, TO CONFESS IT, TO

BRING IT INTO THE LIGHT.

TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR

LIFE -- THE REST OF YOUR

LIFE JUST LOVING AND EARNING

THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE ONE OF

THE GREAT STORIES OF GOD.

EMBED THIS VIDEO


Log in or create an account to post a comment.  

CBN.com | Do You Know Jesus? | Privacy Notice | Prayer Requests | Support CBN | Contact Us | Feedback
© 2012 Christian Broadcasting Network