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Jeff Myers: A Pornographer's Redemption

He was king of an online pornography empire. Although he made lots of money, Jeff says, 'My soul was sterile; it was dead.' Read Transcript


I WAS ONE OF THE LARGEST

PRODUCERS OF ONLINE

PORNOGRAPHY IN THE COUNTRY.

I HAD 1.3 MILLION REGISTERED

IMAGES, A STAGGERING

NUMBER.

AND WE HAD THOUSANDS AND

THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF

HOURS OF VIDEO.

Reporter: JEFF MYERS

NEVER SET OUT TO BECOME A

PORNOGRAPHER, BUT BY HIS

LATE 30s, HE WAS KING OF

AN ONLINE PORNOGRAPHY

EMPIRE.

MY SOUL WAS STERILE.

I REALLY HAD NO CONSCIENCE.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME, MAKING

AS MUCH MONEY AS I COULD

POSSIBLY MAKE.

Reporter: JEFF WAS

DRIVEN BY DEEP INSECURITIES

THAT BEGAN IN HIS

CHILDHOOD.

I NEVER REALLY MEASURED

UP.

I WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO

OBTAIN SOMETHING I COULD

NEVER GET TO.

IT KIND OF CENTERED AROUND

MONEY.

THE MORE MONEY I COULD GET,

THE MORE SUCCESSFUL I FELT

OR I COULD MAKE MYSELF LOOK

TO OTHERS.

Reporter: HE MARRIED IN

HIS EARLY 30s, BUT AFTER

FIVE YEARS THEY DIVORCED, AS

HE BEGAN SPENDING MUCH OF

HIS TIME AND MONEY IN STRIP

CLUBS.

IT REALLY BECAME MY

SECOND LIFESTYLE.

I WAS SPENDING THOUSANDS OF

DOLLARS A WEEK IN THESE

CLUBS, VYING FOR THE FAKE

ATTENTION FROM THESE YOUNG

LADIES.

WITHIN A SHORT PERIOD OF

TIME, THAT LIFESTYLE, LITTLE

BY LITTLE, BECAME REAL TO

ME.

I HAD TO HAVE THIS

ATTENTION.

IT MADE ME FEEL IMPORTANT.

FOR KIND OF THE FIRST TIME

IN MY LIFE, EVEN THOUGH IT

WAS FAKE, IT DIDN'T MATTER.

I FELT LIKE I WAS IMPORTANT,

IMPORTANT TO SOMEBODY.

Reporter: ONE NIGHT A

DANCER TOLD HIM SHE WANTED

HELP STARTING HER OWN

PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE.

I'M THINKING IN THE BACK

OF MY HEAD, WELL, I COULD DO

THAT.

AND SO I DID.

THE FIRST WEEK WE DID $6,000

IN SALES.

BUT WITHIN A YEAR, I HAD 19

WEBSITES.

WE WERE DOING SALES OF

$30,000 TO $40,000 A MONTH.

BETWEEN THE MONEY AND THE

ATTENTION OF THESE GIRLS I

WAS GETTING, I WAS INSTANTLY

HOOK.

IN TWO YEARS I SOLD MY WHOLE

PROGRAM FOR $2.5 MILLION.

Reporter: FOR THREE

MORE YEARS, JEFF PRODUCED

PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL.

HE BEGAN TAKING THE DRUG

ECSTASY TO GET HIM THROUGH

THE DAYS AND NIGHTS.

IT WAS ABOUT 150 HOURS A

WEEK OF DRUG-INDUCED FAKE

HAPPINESS.

IT IS AS FAR FROM REAL AS

YOU CAN GET.

I KNEW I WAS DESTROYING

LIVES AT THIS POINT, BUT AT

THIS POINT IT KIND OF CAUGHT

UP TO ME THAT WHAT I WAS

DOING FOR DISASTEROUS.

NOT ONLY FOR THE MODELS THAT

WERE WORKING FOR ME, BUT FOR

PEOPLE IN GENERAL.

I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING

TO HAVE TO GIVE.

BUT I STUCK TO IT.

AND THIS DRUG KEPT ME

HAPPY.

AS MUCH AS I HAD PEOPLE

AROUND ME, I WAS SO

COMPLETELY ALONE.

THERE WERE MANY NIGHTS I WAS

JUST BY MYSELF, JUST ALONE.

Reporter: ONE OF HIS

MODELS ASKED JEFF TO REMOVE

HER PHOTOS FROM THE

INTERNET, BUT HE HAD ALREADY

SOLD THEM.

SHE ALSO ASKED FOR ECSTASY

FOR SOME FRIENDS AND

HERSELF.

FINALLY JEFF SAID YES.

I GRABBED HER THREE PILLS

OF ECSTASY, ONE FOR EACH OF

HER FRIENDS.

NOT KNOWING SHE HAD HAD

ABOUT A MONTH-LONG

CONVERSATION WITH THE LOCAL

POLICE DEPARTMENT ABOUT ME

AND ABOUT GETTING HER

PICTURES OFF THE INTERNET.

Reporter: WITHIN A FEW

HOURS, SEVERAL DRUG

ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS RAIDED

HIS HOME AND ARRESTED JEFF.

THEY CHARGED ME WITH

MANUFACTURING AND

DISTRIBUTING

METHAMPHETAMINE, ECSTASY,

AND TOOK EVERYTHING I

OWNED.

CLEARED ME OUT AND LEFT ME

KIND OF SITTING IN THIS BIG

HOUSE, LOOKING AROUND,

WONDERING WHAT IN THE WORLD

HAS JUST HAPPENED TO ME.

I WAS SEVERELY DEPRESSED.

EVERYONE HAD ABANDONED ME.

I WENT UPSTAIRS, GRABBED A

BOTTLE OF VODKA AND VICODIN

AND TOOK ALL 20 AND DRANK A

FIFTH OF VODKA, AND PREPARED

TO DIE.

BUT FOR SOME REASON, I WOKE

UP THE NEXT MORNING.

AND I REALIZED, I NEED HELP

AND I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY

OWN.

I SO DESPERATELY WANTED

SOMEBODY TO REACH OUT TO

ME.

AND I WAS ALONE, AND I

NEEDED SOMEBODY, SOMETHING.

Reporter: HE DROVE TO A

CHRISTIAN CAMP HE ATTENDED

AS A YOUNG MAN.

THAT NIGHT THEY GAVE AN

ALTER CALL, AND JEFF WAS ONE

OF THE FIRST TO COME

FORWARD.

HE PRAYED AND ASKED GOD TO

FORGIVE HIS SINS AND GIVE

HIM A NEW START.

I DON'T KNOW IF THIS GOD

THING IS GOING TO WORK.

I HAD DONE WAY TOO MUCH.

IN MY MIND, I HAD GONE WAY

OFF THE DEEP END, AND THERE

WAS NO REDEMPTIVE VALUE FOR

ME.

I WASN'T WORTHY.

I DEPUTY FEE DIDN'T FEEL

LIKE A CHRISTIAN.

Reporter: HE SOUGHT OUT

AN OLD FRIEND FROM CAMP WHO

HAD BECOME A PASTOR.

WITHIN A NEW DAYS, HE HAD

MOVED IN WITH THE PASTOR AND

HIS FAMILY.

HE WAS REALLY BROKEN AND

SEARCHING.

HE FELT LIKE HE HAD A CHANCE

TO COME DOWN TO STRANGERS,

AND I KNEW OUR CHURCH WOULD

OFFER GRACE AND LOVE, AND HE

NEEDED THAT.

Reporter: WHAT THEY DID

IS JUST WHAT JESUS WOULD

HAVE DONE.

HE DIDN'T LOOK AT MY PAST.

HE DEPUTY LOO DIDN'T LOOK

AT WHAT I WAS DOING, HOW I

WAS ACTING.

THEY JUST LOVED ME.

THEY WRAPPED THEIR ARMS

AROUND ME AND LOVED ON ME

AND TOOK CARE OF ME, BEYOND

WHAT I COULD EVEN POSSIBLY

HAVE IMAGINED.

THAT MEANT EVERYTHING.

THAT WAS CONFIRMATION THAT

THAT GRACE WAS REAL.

Reporter: JEFF SPENT

HIS DAYS READING THE BIBLE

AND LISTENING TO WORSHIP

MUSIC.

BEFORE LONG, HE NOTICED

SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL

DAYS, I WOULD WAKE UP WITH A

WORSHIP SONG ON MY MIND,

ALWAYS A DIFFERENT ONE.

IT WAS LIKE I WAS BEING

WASHED FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

I HAD NO RECONCILIATION OF

ANYTHING I PRODUCED, OR ANY

OF THOSE IMAGES.

IT WAS GONE.

IT WAS LIKE HE USED THAT

MUSIC AND SOMETHING I HAD

READ TO KIND OF CLEANSE ME

AND MAKE ME NEW.

AND THAT'S THE POINT WHERE I

SAID, WOW, HE CAN FIX ME?

ME?

WITH THE MESS AND THE

MILLIONS OF LIVES THAT I'VE

TOUCHED IN A VERY, VERY

NEGATIVE WAY, BUT HE STILL

LOVES ME -- IT BLOWS MY

MIND.

Reporter: JEFF WAS

SENTENCED TO A YEAR IN

PRISON.

HE USED THE TIME TO STUDY

THE BIBLE AND PRAY.

AFTER HIS RELEASE, HE USED

HIS INTERNET DEVELOPMENT

SKILLS AND STARTED A NEW

WEBSITE "GOD TV."

HE HAS GIVEN ME THE

OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE GOD'S

LOVE.

IT IS KIND OF MY PERSONAL

MISSION OF REDEMPTION.

IT IS, LIKE, OKAY, GOD,

YOU'VE GIVEN ME THESE

SKILLS.

LET'S USE THEM FOR YOUR

GLORY.

Reporter: HE SAYS HE

HAS EXPERIENCED THE LOVE AND

GRACE OF GOD.

MY LIFE WAS A DISASTER.

I WAS A DRUG-ADDICTED

PORNOGRAPHIC PORNOGRAPHER.

BUT HE HAS TAKEN ME AND

LOVED ME DESPITE MYSELF.

HE HAS TAKEN WHAT SATAN

MEANT FOR EVIL AND TURNED IT

INTO SOMETHING AMAZING, JUST

FOR THE PROOF OF GOD'S

AMAZING GRACE.

THE THINGS HE CAN DO AND THE

RESTORATION HE CAN MAKE,

BLOWS MY MIND STILL.

EMBED THIS VIDEO


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