I LIVED IN CONSTANT
FEAR.
MY PARENTS WERE CONSTANTLY
FIGHTING.
MY FATHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.
I FELT ALWAYS THAT I WAS
ALONE.
EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PEOPLE,
I WAS ALWAYS ALONE AND HAD
TO PROTECT MYSELF.
Reporter: TRACY JENKINS
RAN AWAY FROM THE CHAOS OF
HER DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AT
THE AGE OF 17.
TO SUPPORT HERSELF, SHE RAN
INTO AN EVEN DARKER PLACE.
THE WORLD OF TOPLESS
DANCING IS A WORLD OF
FABRICATION.
THE ONLY WAY YOUR ACCEPTED
IN SEXUALLY.
YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO
MANIPULATE MANIPULATION.
Reporter: TRACY ALSO
GOT HOOKED ON
METHAMPHETAMINES.
AT FIRST, WHEN YOU START
THIS DRUG, THERE IS THIS
HUGE LIE THAT IT TELLS YOU:
YOU ARE SUPER POWERFUL.
YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS.
IT'S EUPHORIC.
BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH
METHAMPHETAMINE I USED, OR
HOW MUCH ALCOHOL I DRANK, IT
WOULDN'T MAKE THE PAIN GO
AWAY.
Reporter: IN 1996,
TRACY FOUND OUT SHE WAS
PREGNANT.
I HAD MET MY DAUGHTER'S
FATHER IN A RESTAURANT.
AND WHILE I WAS PREGNANT, I
DIDN'T USE ANY ALCOHOL OR
DRUGS.
BUT AS SOON AS I DECIDED TO
PICK UP, THAT ROARING LION
WAS THERE WAITING FOR ME.
AND IT CAME BACK A
THOUSAND-FOLD.
AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THAT,
I LOST EVERYTHING.
Reporter: INCLUDING THE
ONLY PERSON SHE LOVED, HER
DAUGHTER.
I WENT TO MY MOTHER AND
SOL TOLD MY MOTHER I COULD
NO LONGER TAKE CARE OF MY
CHILD.
MY DAUGHTER WAS BROUGHT TO
MY HUSBAND.
I REMEMBER WHEN I LOST MY
DAUGHTER, I REMEMBER BEING
IN THE BACK SEAT OF A CAR
CRYING, BECAUSE I COULDN'T
GO TO COURT THAT DAY.
I BEGAN A JOURNEY OF INTENSE
VIOLENCE, THEFT, ASSAULT.
I HAD NO CONVICTION AT ALL.
I HAD NO FEAR.
I HAD NO FEAR BECAUSE I
DIDN'T BELIEVE IN GOD.
Reporter: TRACY WAS IN
AND OUT OF JAIL AND MENTAL
INSTITUTIONS.
THE STREETS BECAME HER
HOME.
ITHAD WARRANT I HAD
WARRANTS OUT FOR MY ARREST.
MY OWN MOTHER HAD AN ORDER
OF PROTECTION AGAINST ME
BECAUSE I BECAME VIOLENT
AGAINST HER.
Reporter: FINALLY TRACY
TURNED HERSELF INTO THE
POLICE AND WENT TO JAIL.
I FELT AS THOUGH I HADN'T
JUST HIT THE BECOME BOTTOM,
BUT I FELL INTO THE PIT.
THERE WAS NO HOPE.
NO LIGHT.
I CRIED OUT TO A GOD I DON'T
BELIEVE IN.
IN MY EXACT WORDS, I SAID,
IF YOU'RE REAL, YOU'VE GOT
TO HELP ME.
I WAS CRYING OUT TO A GOD I
DID NOT BELIEVE IN.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 10
MINUTES CRYING AND CRYING.
AND SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE,
I FELT A WARMTH HIT BOTH OF
MY FEET AT THE SAME TIME.
AND THE WARMTH WAS SO
PROFOUND THAT IN THAT FETAL
POSITION, I HAD OPENED MY
EYES AND SHOOK THE WATER --
THE TEARS OUT OF MY EYES, TO
SEE WHO WAS TOUCHING ME, AND
NOBODY WAS TOUCHING ME.
AND THE HEAT TRAVELLED UP.
AND WHEN IT GOT RIGHT TO MY
STOMACH, I KNEW WHAT IT WAS
AND WHO IT WAS FROM.
I KNEW IT WAS A HEALING.
AND THE WORDS THAT CAME OUT
OF MY MOUTH WERE "PRAISE
YOU, SWEET JESUS OF
NAZARETH."
AND HOW I KNEW TO SAY THAT,
I'LL NEVER KNOW.
BUT THIS WARMTH TRAVELLED UP
MY BODY, AND I FELT A
COMFORT AND A PEACE I HAD
NOT FELT ALL OF MY LIFE --
ALL OF MY LIFE.
THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY
LIFE.
Reporter: IN 2005,
TRAY TRACY ENTERED A
WOMEN'S HALFWAY HOUSE AND
WENT TO CHURCH.
THE CHANGES IN MY WERE SO
PROFOUND.
SO PROFOUND.
I STARTED TO HAVE AN
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH
JESUS.
I WAS RUNNING TO HIM.
I WANTED TO KNOW WHO IS HE?
WHAT IS HE ABOUT?
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
THE HEALING I RECEIVED, I
DIDN'T SAY PRAISE YOU
MOHAMMED, OR PRAISE YOU
UNIVERSE.
MY EXACT WORDS WERE, "PRAISE
YOU, SWEET JESUS, OF
NAZARETH."
SO I WANTED TO KNOW THAT
SWEET JESUS OF NAZARETH.
Reporter: TODAY TRACY
IS COMPLETELY FREE FROM
DRUGS, AND IS MENTORING
PEOPLE IN ARIZONA.
SHE RECENTLY MARRIED.
JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND.
HE IS MY LORD.
HE IS MY COMFORTER, HE IS MY
SAVIOR.
TO THE PERSON OUT THERE THAT
HAS NO HOPE, HAS NO FAITH,
THAT IS STEEPED IN
DISBELIEF, THAT IF YOU WOULD
HUMBLE YOURSELF, DO WHATEVER
IT TAKES, FALL ON YOUR
KNEES, FALL UPON YOUR FAITH
AND CRY OUT TO THE GOD THAT
CAN, I PROMISE YOU THAT HE
WILL.
I'M PROOF OF IT.
