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Forgiving Yourself After Choosing Abortion

After being part of the decision to abort his child, Maurice Huff struggles to forgive himself. Read Transcript


WHEN SHE GAVE ME AN

ULTIMATUM, THE ULTIMATUM WAS

EITHER WE GET MARRIED OR SHE

WAS GOING TO HAVE AN

ABORTION.

MY DECISION WAS THAT I WAS

NOT GOING TO GET MARRIED.

Reporter: MORE THAN

ANYTHING, MAURICE HUFF

WANTED TO BE A TEACHER.

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, HE

ENLISTED IN THE AIR FORCE TO

PAY FOR COLLEGE.

BUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM HIS

GIRLFRIEND JE JEOPARDIZED

HIS PLANS.

SHE WAS PREGNANT.

SHE BACKED ME INTO A

CORNER.

I FELT CONFUSED AND ANGRY.

Reporter: MAURICE WAS A

CHRISTIAN AND HE KNEW

ABORTION WAS WRONG.

ONCE I WAS FACED WITH

THAT DECISION, WITH MARRIAGE

HANGING OVER MY HEAD, I

LOOKED AT ABORTION WAS MY

ONLY WAY OUT.

Reporter: SO HE AND HIS

GIRLFRIEND WENT TO THE

CLINIC, AND THE ABORTION WAS

PERFORMED.

FOR A WHILE, MAURICE WAS

RELIEVED, THEN HIS

GIRLFRIEND SAID SOMETHING

THAT LEFT HIM STUNNED.

SHE SAID THE CHILD WOULD

HAVE BEEN A BOY.

AND THAT REALLY HIT HOME

HARD.

WHEN SHE SAID THE CHILD

WOULD HAVE BEEN A BOY.

I THINK THAT'S WHEN, FOR THE

FIRST TIME THROUGH THIS

WHOLE ORDEAL, I REALLY

STARTED THINKING OF THIS NOT

JUST BEING AN ABORTION, BUT

REALLY BEING A LIFE.

THEN ALL OF THESE THINGS

STARTED GOING THROUGH MY

MIND. I COULD HAVE HAD A

SON.

Reporter: AND WHEN HE

GOT HOME, HE HAD A VISION.

I GOT THIS DARK VISION OF

MINE.

I COULD SEE MYSELF WITH A

GUN.

AND BASICALLY I TOOK A GUN

AND PUT THE GUN TO A BABY'S

HEAD.

I COULD FEEL THE EXPLOSION

TAKE PLACE.

THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING JUST

HIT ME FULL FORCE.

YOU JUST TOOK A LIFE.

I FELT WORTHLESS.

I FELT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU

TOOK A LIFE.

SO WHY SHOULD YOU BE

LIVING.

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.

Reporter: HE AND HIS

GIRLFRIEND EVENTUALLY BROKE

UP, BUT THE GUILT STILL

HAUNTED HIM DAILY.

THE EMPTINESS THAT I

FELT, I WOULDN'T WISH IT ON

ANYONE.

IT WAS JUST A TOTAL EMPTY

FEELING.

SAD, GUT GUT-WRENCHING

FEELING.

MORE THAN ANYTHING IT WAS

TREMENDOUS, TREMENDOUS

GUILT.

Reporter: MAURICE GREW

TIRED OF DAYS FILLED WITH

ANXIETY AND SLEEPLESS

NIGHTS.

SO HE RETURNED TO THE ONE

PLACE WHERE HE EXPERIENCED

PEACE, HIS FAITH IN CHRIST.

I WAS READING SCRIPTURES

ABOUT FORGIVENESS,

SCRIPTURES ABOUT

RESTORATION, SCRIPTURES

ABOUT HEALING.

THE MORE I READ THE BIBLE,

THE BETTER I WAS BEGINNING

TO FEEL.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF THE GUILT

WAS BEGINNING TO LIFT.

I WAS GETTING A BETTER

UNDERSTANDING OF GOD'S

FORGIVENESS, BUT I STILL HAD

HAD NOT FORGIVEN MYSELF

COMPLETELY.

Reporter: ONE DAY WHILE

HE WAS WATCHING "THE 700

CLUB," TERRY TALKED ABOUT

USING WRITING TO HELP IN THE

HEALING PROCESS.

MAURICE DECIDED TO GIVE IT A

TRY.

EACH DAY I WOULD BEGIN TO

SORT OF WRITE MY THOUGHTS

ABOUT THE ABORTION, WHAT

HAPPENED.

AND THE MORE I BEGAN TO

WRITE, THE BETTER I WAS

FEELING.

ONE NIGHT I WAS SLEEPING AND

IT WAS PROBABLY ABOUT 3:00

IN THE MORNING.

I JUST WAS AWAKENED WITH A

WHOLE STORY LINE FOR A

BOOK.

AND SO I JUMPED OUT OF BED

AND JUST STARTED WRITING A

WHOLE STORY RELATED TO THIS

ABORTION.

Reporter: MAURICE

EVENTUALLY WROTE TWO BOOKS:

"THE CHOICE THAT HAUNTS

FOREVER," AND "THE CHOICE

THAT NO LONGER HAUNTS."

HE IS NOW HAPPILY MARRIED

AND HAS TWO CHILDREN.

HE SAYS HE IS THANKFUL FOR

GOD'S FORGIVENESS.

THAT'S THE AWESOMENESS OF

GOD.

IS THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE

DO, GOD IS A GOD OF MERCY

AND HE'S A GOD OF

FORGIVENESS.

EVEN IF YOU MAKE THIS

MISTAKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

WALLOW IN GUILT.

ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS, AND

GOD WILL GRANT YOU

FORGIVENESS.

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