ARE YOU READY TO E-MAIL.
Pat: I FINISHED 58
YEARS OF MARRIAGE, STARTING
ON 59.
Kristi: WHEN I WAS YOUR
ANNIVERSARY?
Pat: JUST RECENTLY.
WE HAVE FOUR CHILDREN, 14
GRANDCHILDREN, 2.5
GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN.
DO YOU RECKON I'M QUALIFIED
TO SPEAK ABOUT THESE
MATTERS?
A LITTLE BIT.
Pat: I KNOW HOW YOU
KEEP A MARRIAGE TOGETHER.
Kristi: COME ON, PAT.
WHAT IS THE SECRET TO
KEEPING A MARRIAGE
TOGETHER?
Pat: HONEST?
Kristi: YES, BE
HONEST.
Pat: TO BE HONEST,
UNDERSTANDING, AND
FORGIVING.
WHATEVER IT IS, IT HAS
WORKED.
Kristi: IT HAS WORKED
AND IT HAS WORKED
BEAUTIFULLY.
AND NOT JUST YOU AND DEE
DEE, BUT JUST THE LEGACY OF
YOUR KIDS.
THEY ALL LOVE THE LORD,
SERVING THE LORD.
Pat: LOVE THE LORD.
SERVING THE LORD.
Kristi: AND THEY ALL
LOOK-ALIKE.
GOOD GENES.
Pat: GOOD GENES.
Kristi: LASHONDA SAYS,
"I HAVE BEEN DATING A MAN
FOR THREE YEARS, AND HE IS
SWEET AND RESPECTFUL AND
WILL DO ANYTHING FOR
ANYONE.
MY MOM REALLY LOVES ME.
INITIALLY HE TOLD ME HE WAS
A CHRISTIAN, AND LATER HE
BEGAN PRESSURING ME TO HAVE
SEX, AND I GAVE IN AND WE
HAD SEX.
I'M NOT REALLY INTO THE
RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE, BUT I
DON'T WANT TO BREAK IT OFF
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HURT
HIM.
MY FAMILY SAYS I WOULD BE BE
CRAZY TO BREAK UP.
I FEEL LIKE I OWE HIM.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
Pat: YOU DON'T OWE HIM
ANYTHING.
HE DECEIVED YOU, SAID HE WAS
A PRINCIPLE, AND THEN HE
TALKS YOU INTO DOING
SOMETHING AGAINST YOUR MORAL
PRINCIPLES -- YOU DON'T OWE
HIM ANYTHING.
Kristi: THERE YOU GO.
I THINK THAT'S THE PLOY OF
THE DEVIL.
Pat: YOU OWE HIM THE
LOVE OF CHRIST, AND YOU HOPE
HE FINDS A BETTER WAY.
BUT LEAVE OFF THE KEY, LEE,
AND GET OUT THE BACK, JACK,
AND ALL OF THOSE OTHER
THINGS, GET OUT OF THAT
THING.
Kristi: I LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION.
KERI WRITES, "I'M A
39-YEAR-OLD CHRISTIAN MAN
WHO'S NEVER BEEN MARRIED.
I HEARD MICHELLE SAY WOMEN
HAVE TO GIVE MEN A CHANCE.
I'VE BEEN ON ALL KINDS OF
DATING SITES, AND NO ONE
REALLY ANSWERS ME.
I'M TURNING 40, AND I
BASICALLY HAVE NO CONFIDENCE
WITH WOMEN NOW THAT I'VE
BEEN REJECTED FOR SO LONG.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN
DO."
SUGGESTIONS, PAT?
Pat: THERE WAS A
CARTOON CHARACTER, AND
EVERYWHERE HE WENT HE HAD A
DARK CLOUD OVER HIM.
IF YOU GO AROUND LOOKING
LIKE A HANG DOG, AND THERE
IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT
MEN AND WOMEN SEE YOU AND
THEY WANT TO KICK YOU.
GET OUT OF MY WAY.
WOMEN WANT SOMEBODY WHO IS A
LEADER, WHO IS ASSERTIVE.
WHO IS IN CHARGE.
THEY DON'T WANT WH SOMEBODY
WHO IS A FAILURE, UNLESS
THEY'VE GOT A PERVERTED
MOTHER COMPLEX.
IF YOU WANT TO FIND A WOMAN,
YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE SOME
AUTHORITY.
YOU'VE GOT TO ACT LIKE, I
KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, AND
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GO
THERE WITH ME.
IF YOU SAY I'M A FAILURE,
AND A LOSER, WOULDN'T YOU
LIKE TO COME ALONG WITH ME?
Kristi: ONE OF THE
THINGS THEY SAY, BE WHO YOU
WANT TO BE ATTRACT.
IT IS NOT EVEN EXTERIOR.
IT IS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT
YOURSELF?
WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OUT
THERE?
ARE YOU JOYFUL AND KIND --
Pat: YOU PUT OUT
NOTHING BUT TROUBLE, BABY --
I RECOMMEND, IF NOTHING
ELSE, GO TO A DALE CARNEGIE
COURSE ON POWER OF POSITIVE
THINKING.
DO SOMETHING.
BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THAT, YOU
CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU ACT.
AND THEN YOU PROJECT THAT.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WE SEND
OUT A.M. AND F.M. SIGNALS.
WOMEN ARE A LOT MORE
SENSITIVE TO THE NON-VERBAL
CUES THAN MEN ARE.
SO YOU'RE SENDING OUT THESE
SIGNALS.
CHANGE THE FREQUENCY.
Kristi: I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT.
MELISSA SAYS, "MY HUSBAND IS
ALREADY IN A NEW DATING
RELATIONSHIP, AND HE LIVES
WITH THIS NEW WOMAN.
I'M NOT DATING, BUT ANY TIME
I THINK ABOUT DATING, MY SON
DOESN'T LIKE IT.
I DON'T WANT MY SON TO HURT,
BUT I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD
CONTROL THE SITUATION,
EITHER."
WHAT DO YOU THINK, PAT?
Pat: FIRST OF ALL, WHY
ARE YOU DIVORCED?
WAS THERE IMMORTALITY?
OR DID YOU JUST DECIDE YOU
WANTED TO DIVORCE.
DATING IS NOT THE DEAL.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO BEYOND
THAT.
YOU'VE GOT TO TELL YOUR SON,
MAMA IS 35, AND I'VE GOT
ANOTHER 40 YEARS AHEAD OF
ME, AND I'VE GOT TO HAVE A
LIFE.
I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU'VE GOT
TO SHARE WITH ME THE
HAPPINESS I DESERVE.
IF THE KID DOESN'T BUY INTO
IT, THAT'S TOUGH.
I MEAN, HE'S GOT TO GROW UP
AND LIVE HIS LIFE, AND
YOU'VE GOT TO EXPLAIN TO
HIM, IN ANOTHER FIVE OR 10
YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE
HOME AND FIND A GIRLFRIEND,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET
MARRIED, AND YOU'RE GOING TO
START ANOTHER HOME AND
YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE.
AND I DESERVE MY HOME TO BE
ESTABLISHED, TOO.
Kristi: I THINK THE
ESSENCE OF IT IS KIDS
INSTINCTIVELY GET SCARED.
THEY GET SCARED IF MOMMY
GOES FOR SUCH AND SUCH OR
DAD GOES WITH SUCH AND SUCH,
THAT'S LESS LOVE FOR ME.
KIDS ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW
THEY ARE LOVED TO THE
FULLEST CAPACITY.
AND THAT LOVE WILL NOT
DIMINISH.
Pat: I THINK THE KIDS
FEAR MAMA IS GOING TO MARRY
SOME ABUSIVE DRUNK.
OKAY, NEXT QUESTION.
Kristi: THAT'S IT.
WE'RE DONE.
Pat: ALL THOSE
WONDERFUL ANSWERS AND IT IS
ALL OVER.
Kristi: IT'S ALL OVER.
Pat: I'M SO SAD.
Kristi: BUT
TECHNICALLY, IT IS NOT
OVER.
YOU CAN GO TO cbn.com AND
ASK WHATEVER QUESTION, AND
DON'T FORGET THE "VOICE OF
HOPE" SERIES WILL CONTINUE.
