Gordon: A CHILD LOCKED
AWAY FOR HOURS.
HE WAS PUT IN THE CLOSET
WHEN MY DAD WASN'T THERE.
Gordon: TRYING TO
ESCAPE FROM A LIFETIME OF
DEPRESSION.
THAT WAS A MIRACLE TO
ME.
THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.
Gordon: ON TODAY'S "700
CLUB INTERACTIVE."
ON "700 CLUB INTERACTIVE,"
WE USE TECHNOLOGY TO PRAY
FOR EACH OTHER AND EXPLORE
TOPICS THAT MATTER TO YOU.
WATCH WHAT GOD IS DOING IN
THE WORLD TODAY.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
MANY KNOW THE NAME STORMIO
MARTIAN, FROM HER
BEST-SELLING BOOK
SERIES, "THE POWER OF A
PRAYING WIFE."
AFTER SELLING OVER
23 MILLION BOOKS AND PACKING
OUT STADIUMS WITH HER
EVENTS, MANY LOOKED TO HER
AS AN INSPIRATION.
WHAT HER FANS MAY NOT KNOW
IS THAT STORMY BATTLED
SEVERE DEPRESSION, AND IT
NEARLY TOOK HER LIFE.
IT WAS A TERRIFYING
CHILDHOOD.
MY MOTHER WAS MENTALLY ILL,
FROM THE TIME SHE WAS ABOUT
19.
SHE REALLY JUST GOT
PROGRESSIVELY WORSE AS TIME
WENT ON.
HER CRAZINESS, OF COURSE,
WENT UNTREATED AND
UNDIAGNOSED.
SHE WAS VERY ABUSIVE,
VERBALLY ABUSIVE AND
PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE.
SHE WOULD LOCK ME IN A
CLOSET.
IT WAS A CLOSET UNDER THE
STAIRWAY IN THIS FARMHOUSE.
AND THERE WAS LIGHT UNDER
THE BOTTOM OF THE DOOR, SO
THAT'S THE LIGHT I HAD,
WHICH WASN'T MUCH.
IT CREATED IN ME A LOT OF
LONELINESS, ANXIETY,
DEPRESSION, SADNESS.
I NEVER KNEW QUITE WHY I WAS
PUT THERE.
IT WASN'T LIKE I DID THIS
AND I'M GOING TO THE
CLOSET.
IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT.
I WAS PUT IN THE CLOSET WHEN
MY DAD WASN'T THERE.
BETWEEN 3 AND 5, I WAS IN
THAT CLOSET, WHENEVER MY DAD
WAS GONE.
I WENT TO SCHOOL WITHOUT ANY
PREPARATION.
I WAS PUT ON A BUS, SENT
30 MILES AWAY TO THE
SCHOOL.
I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE
KIDS.
THEY WERE LOUD AND THEY WERE
SCARY.
AND SO IT WAS A TERRIFYING
TIME.
I WAS AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL
AND I WAS AFRAID TO COME
HOME.
WHEN I GOT INTO JUNIOR HIGH,
I HAD SUCH PAIN INSIDE OF ME
ALL THE TIME, ALWAYS
HURTING, ALWAYS FEARFUL.
AND I JUST COULDN'T DEAL
WITH IT ANYMORE.
I COULDN'T STAND THE PAIN
AND I JUST WANTED TO END
IT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE UP
WITH THE PAIN ANYMORE.
I HAD A SUICIDE ATTEMPT AT
14.
MY MOTHER HAD SLEEPING PILLS
AND THINGS LIKE THAT, AND I
THOUGHT I WAS TAKING THAT,
BUT SHE HAD FILLED THEM WITH
OTHER PILLS.
I ENDED UP NOT DYING, OF
COURSE, BUT MAKING MYSELF
REALLY SICK.
ONCE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
IT SEEMED LIKE I WAS ABLE TO
DEAL WITH THE INSECURITIES
BETTER.
BUT I ALWAYS HAD THAT
DEPRESSION.
I HAD TO WORK THROUGH THE
DEPRESSION.
EVERY MORNING, GET UP AND
GET ON TOP OF MY LIFE SO I
COULD GET TO SCHOOL AND
FUNCTION.
I ALWAYS HAD THAT SADNESS,
THAT DEPRESSION, THAT FEAR,
THAT ANXIETY.
THAT WAS ALWAYS THERE.
BUT I WAS BETTER AT COVERING
IT BY THAT TIME.
SO I JUST STARTED
AUDITIONING.
AND, YOU KNOW, THIS IS
WITHOUT REALLY ANY TRAINING
AT ALL.
BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS
GOING TO THESE THINGS AND
GETTING THE JOB.
I LOVED TO SING AND LOVE TO
DANCE AND LOVED TO ACT.
BUT I WAS AFRAID THEY WERE
GOING TO FIND OUT THAT THERE
WAS NOTHING BEHIND THE
FACADE.
I WAS EMPTY.
MY MOTHER PROCLAIMED TO BE
CHRISTIAN, AND AT ONE POINT,
I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO
WITH CHRISTIANS, NOTHING.
I GOT INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
AND OCCULT PRACTICES AND
EASTERN RELIGIONS.
THERE WAS A GIRLFRIEND WHO
WORKED WITH ME ON A LOT OF
THE TV SHOWS, HER NAME WAS
TERRY.
SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN.
I DID NOTICE SOMETHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT HER.
SOMETHING REALLY GREAT.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
I SAW HER FAMILY AND I SAW
SOME OF HER FRIENDS, AND I
THOUGHT, THERE IS A GREAT
QUALITY TO THEM THAT I
REALLY LIKE, BUT DON'T TALK
TO ME ABOUT THIS CHRISTIAN
THING.
I KEPT THINKING DOWN AND
THINKING DOWN, AND I WAS ON
A RECORDING SESSION WITH
TERRY, AND PLANNING MY
SUICIDE AGAIN.
THIS TIME I'M GOING TO MAKE
IT WORK.
I AM GOING TO GET THE RIGHT
PILLS AND I'M GOING TO GO TO
SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP
AGAIN.
BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO
LIVE WITH THE PAIN ANYMORE.
SHE SAID TO ME, I CAN SEE
YOU ARE NOT DOING VERY
WELL.
SHE SAID, WHY DON'T YOU COME
WITH ME TO MEET MY PASTOR.
I SAID, OKAY.
I THOUGHT, AT LEAST I CAN DO
THIS FOR HER BEFORE I PUT
MYSELF TO DEATH.
HE STARTED TALKING TO ME
ABOUT JESUS.
NOT THE WAY MY MOTHER TALKED
ABOUT JESUS, BUT, YOU KNOW,
IN A NEW WAY, AND THAT HE
WOULD CHANGE ME FROM THE
INSIDE OUT.
I THOUGHT, WOW, THAT SOUNDED
SO GREAT.
IT WAS PRETTY FAR-FETCHED,
BUT WORTH A TRY.
I TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE.
HE SAID, I'VE GOT THREE
BOOKS I WANT TO GIVE YOU.
YOU GO HOME AND READ THEM
THIS WEEK, AND COME BACK AND
LET'S MEET.
AND YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU
THINK OF THOSE BOOKS.
ONE OF THE BOOKS WAS THE
GOSPEL OF JOHN.
I READ THE BOOKS, AND
SOMETHING IN ME CHANGED.
I KNEW I HAD READ THE
TRUTH.
I WENT BACK AND MET WITH HIM
AND RECEIVED THE LORD
THERE.
I COULD FEEL A SENSE OF
HOPE.
THAT WAS THE BIGGEST THING,
THAT SENSE OF HOPE.
WOW, I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT,
I NEVER HAD THAT BEFORE.
BUT I STILL HAD THE
DEPRESSION.
HERE I AM, I HAVE AN ETERNAL
FUTURE THAT IS GOOD, AND I
HAVE LIFE WITH THE LORD.
I HAVE LIFE WITH HIM HERE,
NOW.
AND I'M THINKING, WHY AM I
SO DEPRESSED.
THE DEPRESSION GOT WORSE.
I CALLED THE CHURCH, AND
THEY PUT ME WITH THIS
PASTOR'S WIFE.
HER NAME WAS MARIANNE, AND I
TOLD HER EVERYTHING.
SHE SAID, I WANT YOU TO FAST
AND PRAY FOR THREE DAYS.
IN THE MEANTIME, I WANT YOU
TO WRITE DOWN EVERY SIN THAT
COMES TO MIND.
I WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO
DIE IN THE NIGHT WITHOUT
DINNER BECAUSE I HAD GONE TO
BED WITHOUT DINNER TOO MANY
NIGHTS IN MY LIFE, BUT I DID
IT.
I WAS WILLING TO DO WHATEVER
IT TOOK TO GET RID OF THOSE
FEELINGS.
I CAME BACK TO THE OFFICE TO
MEET HER IN HER OFFICE, AND
SHE JUST HAD ME LIFT THAT
LIST UP TO THE LORD AND JUST
ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FOR IT.
YOU KNOW.
AND THEN SHE HAD ME CONFESS
MY UNFORGIVENESS TOWARDS MY
MOTHER, WHICH I HAD.
AND I HAD TO CONFESS AND
RENOUNCE MY OCCULT
PRACTICES, WHICH I HAD NEVER
DONE.
WHEN I DID THOSE THREE
THINGS, THE LORD SPOKE TO ME
THROUGH THAT COUNSELLOR,
SAYING, MY DAUGHTER, YOU'VE
BEEN LOCKED IN A CLOSET ALL
YOUR LIFE, FIRST PHYSICALLY
AND THEN EMOTIONALLY.
BUT I HAVE THE KEYS.
YOU CAN WALK THROUGH THAT
DOOR AND BE FREE.
WHEN THEY PRAYED, I COULD
FEEL THAT DEPRESSION LIFT.
IT IS NOT SOMETHING I
CONJURED UP IN MY OWN MIND
BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN.
U.S. DEPARTMENI WASN'T
EXPECTING THAT.
I WAS EXPECTING TO FEEL
BETTER, BUT I WAS NOT
EXPECTING TO BE SET FREE
COMPLETELY.
THAT WAS A MIRACLE TO ME.
THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.
BEING A CHRISTIAN OR A
BELIEVER DIDN'T MEAN YOU
DON'T GO THROUGH THINGS, BUT
HE IS THERE WITH YOU.
THAT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT
THING BECAUSE WE ALL GO
THROUGH STUFF.
NO MATTER HOW DARK THAT TIME
IS, YOU HAVE A LIGHT IN YOU
THAT WILL NOT GO OUT.
NEVER FORGET THAT.
NEVER, EVER FORGET THAT.
Gordon: YOU CAN'T
FORGET THAT WHEN THE LIGHT
IS IN YOU.
JESUS PROMISES IT.
YOU FIND THE PROMISE IN
JEREMIAH 29: 11, THAT HE
WANTS TO GIVE YOU A HOPE AND
A FUTURE.
THAT'S WHAT GOD WANTS FOR
YOU.
NOW, THE ENEMY COMES AND HE
WANTS TO TELL YOU THAT
YOU'RE STILL TRAPPED.
THAT YOU'RE STILL LOCKED IN
WHATEVER CLOSET YOUR LOCKED
IN.
NOW, DEPRESSION IS A VERY
TRICKY THING.
I'M NOT HERE TO TELL YOU
THAT THERE ARE SOME, YOU
KNOW, PROCESSES THAT WILL
GET YOU OVER IT.
WHAT YOU NEED IS TO HAVE
JESUS DELIVER YOU FROM IT.
AND I KNOW CHRISTIANS THAT
HAVE STRUGGLED WITH
DEPRESSION AND HAVE GONE
THROUGH COUNSELLING, AND
THEY HAVEN'T HAD THE RESULT
THAT STORMY HAD.
WHERE THROUGH THAT PROS OF
FORGIVENESS, AND THROUGH THE
PROCESS OF CONFESSION, AND
THROUGH THE PROCESS OF
RENOUNCEING THOSE THINGS,
SHE WAS ABLE TO GET FREE.
SOMETIMES IT TAKES YEARS,
AND IT TAKES YEARS OF
COUNSELLING, BUT HOLD ON TO
THE PROMISE.
AND THE PROMISE OF JEREMIAH
29: 11, THAT GOD WANTS TO
GIVE YOU A HOPE AND A
FUTURE.
HE DOESN'T WANT HIS CHILDREN
SUFFERING WITH DEPRESSION.
HE WANTS TO DELIVER YOU AND
SET YOU FREE.
AND WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND
ON THAT, IT WILL GIVE YOU
THE HOPE THAT YOU NEED JUST
TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY.
NOW, WITH DEPRESSION, A LOT
OF PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU,
WELL, GET HAPPY.
YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU CAN'T
CHANGE YOUR FEELINGS.
BUT WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE AND
WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL IS WHAT
YOU THINK ABOUT.
AND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT
OBEYING WHAT PAUL SAYS,
WHATEVER IS PURE, WHATEVER
IS LOVELY, WHATEVER IS A
GOOD REPORT, WHEN YOU START
FOCUSING ON THOSE THINGS AND
START THINKING THOSE
THOUGHTS, THEN THE FEELINGS
WILL START.
LET TODAY BE THE DAY.
DO WHAT STORMY DID.
SAY, LET'S WRITE DOWN ALL OF
THE SINS, ALL OF THE TIMES
I'VE MISSED THE MARK, AND
THEN LET'S GET RID OF THEM.
AND THEN LET'S CREATE A LIST
OF THOSE I NEED TO FORGIVE,
AND SET THEM FREE.
AND SEE IF A CHANGE DOESN'T
COME OVER YOU, THAT GOD WILL
COME TO YOU AND HE'LL SET
YOU FREE.
REALIZE HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU
HOPE.
HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU A
FUTURE.
HE WANTS TO SET YOU FREE.
NOW, IF YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO
HELP YOU WITH THIS, WE'RE
HERE FOR YOU.
AND WE'RE HERE FOR YOU 24
HOURS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A
WEEK.
SO WHEN THESE FEELINGS COME
OVER YOU, AND IT SEEMS TO BE
OVERWHELMING, ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS PICK UP THE PHONE
AND MAKE A TOLL-FREE CALL,
1-888-777-1999.
JUST TELL THEM, I NEED TO
FIND SOME HOPE TODAY.
I NEED TO FIND THAT GOD
REALLY LOVES ME AND HE WANTS
TO SET ME FREE.
WILL YOU PRAY FOR ME?
IT WILL BE OUR HONOR.
IT WILL BE OUR PRIVILEGE TO
PRAY FOR YOU.
USE THAT NUMBER.
WRITE IT DOWN.
1-888-777-1999.
THIS IS "700 CLUB
INTERACTIVE," AND WE'VE
ALREADY GOTTEN SOME CHAT
QUESTIONS ON THIS.
SO LET'S GO OVER TO JOSEPH
IN THE CHATROOM.
WE HAVE SOMEBODY WHO IS
SAYING, "SINCE MY MID-20s,
I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH
ANGER AND DEPRESSION.
I HAD AN ABUSIVE CHILDHOOD,
AND MY PARENTS HAVE NOT
SPOKEN IN OVER 10 YEARS.
NOW I'M IN MY 40s, AND MY
TEENAGER IS STRUGGLING WITH
THE SAME EMOTIONS THAT I
AM.
I'M IN COUNSELLING NOW AND I
HAVE APOLOGIZED TO HER, BUT
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX
IT."
Gordon: I WOULD
ENCOURAGE YOU TO STOP TRYING
TO FIX IT.
IT IS THAT STRUGGLE TO FIX
THAT ACTUALLY GETS YOU
FURTHER INTO TROUBLE BECAUSE
YOU START WONDERING, HOW CAN
I FIX IT, AND THEN YOU START
DOING THOSE THINGS AND THEN
IT DOESN'T GET FIXED, AND
THEN YOU GET EVEN MORE
FRUSTRATED, AND THAT WILL
LEAD TO MORE ANGER AND MORE
DEPRESSION.
PARTICULARLY IF YOU'RE
STARTING TO SEE THIS
GENERATIONALLY, AND NOT ONLY
DID I HAVE IT, BUT IN MY
PROCESS I'VE PASSED THIS
SAME THING ON TO MY
TEENAGER.
REALIZE THAT IF YOU COULDN'T
CONTROL IT, YOUR TEENAGER
CAN'T CONTROL IT, AND YOU
NEED TO SET THEM FREE.
IT'S WONDERFUL THAT YOU'VE
APOLOGIZED.
BUT I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO
DO THE STEPS THAT WE'VE
ALREADY TALKED ABOUT.
HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR
PARENTS FOR WHAT THEY'VE
DONE TO YOU?
AND HAVE YOU SET THEM FREE
FROM IT?
AND IN THAT PROCESS OF
COUNSELLING, ARE YOU SEEING
HOPE AND ARE YOU SEEING A
FUTURE FOR, AND FOR YOU
LAYING HOLD OF THAT PROMISE,
THAT WONDERFUL PROMISES FROM
JEREMIAH 29: 11.
AND THEN ENCOURAGE --
INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIX,
ENCOURAGE YOUR TEENAGER.
AND ENCOURAGE THEM IN
PATHWAYS THAT WILL LEAD THEM
OUT OF WHAT YOU'VE GONE
THROUGH.
AND YOU CAN SAY, LOOK, I
WENT THROUGH THIS.
THIS IS HOW I DID IT.
I'M NOT TRYING TO FIX YOU.
I'M TRYING TO ENCOURAGE
YOU.
AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU'LL
FIND THAT LOVE NEVER FAILS.
THAT'S A WONDERFUL VERSE.
"LOVE NEVER FAILS."
AND WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
YOU WANT TO ENCOURAGE THEM.
YOU WANT TO LIFT THEM.
YOU WANT TO PICK THEM UP.
AND JUST START DOING IT THAT
WAY AND SEE IF YOU DON'T GET
A CHANGE.
UP NEXT, THE WOMAN MOVES TO
THE PROMISE LAND ONLY TO BE
GREETED WITH TRAGEDY.
FIND OUT HOW VIEWERS LIKE
YOU GAVE HER JOY FOR THE
FIRST TIME IN HER NEW HOME.
RIGHT AFTER THIS.
Gordon: IN 1991, THE
ISRAELIS MILITARY CONDUCTED
OPERATION SOLOMON, AIR
LIFTING THOUSANDS OF
ETHIOPIAN JEWS FROM AFRICA
TO ISRAEL.
FOR MANY OF THESE
IMMIGRANTS, STARTING A NEW
LIFE IN ISRAEL WAS
DIFFICULT.
FOR ALANA, IT WAS TRAGIC.
Reporter: ALANA WAS
JUST A CHILD WHEN HER FAMILY
MOVED TO ISRAEL, AND AT 19
SHE FOUND HERSELF IN AN
ARRANGED MARRIAGE TO A MAN
WHO BEAT HER.
Translator: MY HUSBAND
WOULD TAKE OUT HIS ANGER ON
ME.
ONE NIGHT HE ALMOST KILLED
ME.
IT IS A MIRACLE I SURVIVED.
AND NOW HE IS IN JAIL FOR
EIGHT YEARS.
Reporter: ALANA WAS
LEFT TO RAISE HER THREE
SMALL CHILDREN ALONE.
AND THEN JUST A FEW MONTHS
AGO, HER 6-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
DIED UNEXPECTANTLY DURING A
ROUTINE SURGERY.
SINCE THEN, ALANA HAS
SUFFERED FROM CRIPPLING
DEPRESSION.
MOST DAYS SHE SITS IN THIS
DARK APARTMENT, UNABLE TO
WORK.
HER SMALL WELFARE CHECK
BARELY COVERS A THIRD OF THE
FAMILY'S EXPENSES.
I HAVE A LARGE DEBT ON MY
MORTGAGE, AND THEY'RE ABOUT
TO TAKE MY APARTMENT.
MY WATER AND ELECTRICITY
WILL SOON BE CUT OFF AS
WELL.
Reporter: LIFE IS
ESPECIALLY HARD FOR ALANA'S
SON, TOMAR.
AT JUST 13 YEARS OLD, HE HAS
TO TAKE CARE OF THE WHOLE
FAMILY.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE
INTERVIEWED, BUT OFF CAMERA
HE TOLD US HE TRIES TO
PROTECT HIS MOTHER BECAUSE
HE STILL REMEMBERS THE NIGHT
SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY IN AN
AMBULANCE.
ON HIS BIRTHDAY HE TOLD
ME I WILL NEVER FORGET.
HE TOLD ME NOT TO BUY HIM A
PRESENT.
HE SAID, "MOM, DON'T FEEL
BAD.
I KNOW THAT WE'RE POOR."
AS A MOTHER, THAT IS VERY
HARD FOR ME.
Reporter: RECENTLY A
TEAM FROM CBN ISRAEL GAVE
THE FAMILY SOME MUCH-NEEDED
HELP.
WE MADE THE BACK PAYMENTS ON
ALANA'S MORTGAGE SO SHE
WOULDN'T LOSE HER HOME.
BUT IT WAS A SMALL GIFT THAT
OVERWHELMED HER, A BASKET
FULL OF LOTION, SOAP, AND
OTHER PERSONAL ITEMS.
THESE ARE THINGS I NEED
EVERY DAY BUT I CAN'T GET
FOR MYSELF.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Reporter: FOR TOMAR, WE
BOUGHT CLOTHES AND NEW
RUNNING SHOES HE NEEDED FOR
SCHOOL.
AND FOR HIS LITTLE BROTHER,
SOME NEW TOYS.
YAY!
Reporter: WE ALSO TOOK
THE FAMILY GROCERIES
SHOPPING, AND THEN WE
ARRANGED FOR ALANA TO SEE A
COUNSELLOR, TO HELP HER GET
WELL SO SHE CAN GO BACK TO
WORK AND SUPPORT HER
FAMILY.
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE
CLOUDS.
I THINK YOU CAN SEE MY
MOOD.
I CAN'T FIND A WORD TO
DESCRIBE THIS BEAUTIFUL
EXPERIENCE.
FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
Gordon: AND THANK YOU.
IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF "THE
700 CLUB," YOU'RE PART OF
BLESSING THAT WONDERFUL
FAMILY.
IF YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER, CALL
US AND JOIN.
THE NUMBER IS TOLL-FREE,
1-888-777-1999.
JUST SAY I WANT TO SIGN UP
AND BE A PART OF WHAT YOU'RE
DOING.
HOW MUCH IS IT TO JOIN "THE
700 CLUB"?
$20 A MONTH, 65 CENTS A
DAY.
WHEN YOU JOIN, I HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU I WANT YOU
TO HAVE, LIF "LIFE BEYOND
THE GRAVE, PART TWO."
THESE ARE STORIES OF PEOPLE
WHO DIED.
SOME WENT TO HEAVEN, AND
SOME WENT TO HELL.
AND GOD SENT THEM BACK SO
THEY COULD TELL THEIR
STORY.
THESE ARE EYE WITNESS
ACCOUNTS OF WHAT THEY SAW IN
HEAVEN AND WHAT THEY SAW IN
HELL.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS.
1-888-777-1999.
CAN COMING UP, A SINGER WHO
WROTE ABOUT HEARTBREAK FINDS
A CURE, RIGHT AFTER THIS.
Gordon: THEY SAY YOU
JUST CAN'T PLAY THE BLUES,
HAVE YOU TO FEEL THEM AS
WELL.
IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT A
SINGER NAMED ANGELA WOLF
GRAP GRAVITATED TOWARDS
BLUES MUSIC, SHE HAD A
LIFETIME OF NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS TO EXPRESS.
*
I'D WRITE SONGS ABOUT
THINGS THAT I STRUGGLED
WITH, HEARTACHE, HEARTBREAK
OF ANY KIND.
Reporter: SOME SAY
BLUES MUSIC GOES DEEP,
UNCOVERING THINGS THAT ARE
OFTEN HIDDEN.
IINJUSTICE, WANT, AND
PAIN.
* I'M GOING UP TO HEAVEN,
BABY *
* I'M GOING TO GET WHAT HE
PROMISED ME *
EVERYBODY GOES THROUGH
THESE THINGS.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST BETTER
AT COVERING IT UP THAN
OTHERS.
Reporter: BLUES ARTIST
ANGELA WOLF KNOWS ABOUT
HIDDEN THINGS.
SHE HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE
FOOLED.
SHE LOOKED LIKE THE SWEET,
INNOCENT CHURCH GIRL, BUT
THE REALITY WAS SHE CARRIED
A LOT OF PAIN.
IT'S HARD, SOMETIMES, TO
LOOK BACK AT THE
PHOTOGRAPHS.
I WAS SMILING IN THEM.
I WAS PUTTING ON AN ACT, BUT
UNDERNEATH IT ALL, I KNOW
THAT LOOK.
I KNOW HOW HURT I WAS
INSIDE, AND I WAS JUST
REALLY GOOD AT COVERING IT
UP.
Reporter: ANGELA WAS
ONE OF THOSE KIDS PICKED ON
BY BULLIES.
SHE BELIEVED SHE WOULD NEVER
FIT IN, AND SCHOOL BECAME A
NIGHTMARE.
I WAS LOOKING FOR
ANYTHING THAT MADE ME FORGET
WHO I WAS, FORGET THE
TROUBLES THAT I DEALT WITH
AT SCHOOL.
I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I COULD
DISCUSS THOSE THINGS WITH MY
PARENTS.
AND I JUST KEPT WANTING TO
FIT IN.
Reporter: ANGELA
STARTED SMOKING CIGARETTES
AND THEN POT.
THAT LED TO DRINKING AND
EVENTUALLY INHALING
HAIRSPRAY.
IN TIME, ANGELA HAD BOYS
OVER AFTER SCHOOL.
BOTH HER PARENTS WORKED AND
OFTEN THINGS GOT OUT OF
HAND.
I WANTED TO GET A BOY'S
AFFECTIONS, AND FOR A BOY TO
LIKE ME, THAT'S WHAT I
NEEDED TO DO.
SO I BEGAN HAVING SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE AT THE AGE OF
14.
Reporter: NO MATTER HOW
MANY BOYS ANGELA WAS
INVOLVED WITH, SHE NEVER
FELT ACCEPTED.
THEN HER HIGH SCHOOL MUSIC
TEACHER ENCOURAGED HER TO
TRY OUT FOR THE SCHOOL
MUSICAL.
HE KNEW ARCH ANGELA HAD
TALENT.
HE KEPT ENCOURAGING ME.
HE SAID, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN
REALLY DO THIS.
YOU JUST NEED TO REALLY
APPLY YOURSELF AND NOT BE
AFRAID ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
THINK.
Reporter: HER VOICE
GAVE HER THE ATTENTION SHE
NEEDED.
SHE FOUND HER WINGS AFTER
THAT.
AND IN COLLEGE, TOOK ON A
NEW PERSONA.
GONE WAS THE LITTLE CHURCH
GIRL.
INSTEAD, SHE WOULD SING IN
NIGHTCLUBS AND BARS, WHERE
DRUGS AGAIN BECAME PART OF
HER LIFE.
HER MOM SAW SOMETHING WAS
NOT RIGHT, AND ENCOURAGED
ANGELA TO GO BACK TO
CHURCH.
STILL, ANGELA DID WHAT
ANGELA WANTED TO DO.
I HAD HAD BOYFRIEND AFTER
BOYFRIEND AND ONE-NIGHT
STAND AFTER ONE-NIGHT
STAND.
AND I ENDED UP WITH AN
S.T.D., AND I HAD BECOME A
BULEMIC, AND THE BULEMIA HAD
EATEN AWAY AT THE GUMS OF MY
TEETH.
Reporter: THE REALITY
OF WHAT SHE HAD BECOME WAS
BEGINNING TO HIT HOME.
THERE IS NOBODY WHO IS
GOING TO WANT SOMEBODY LIKE
ME.
I WAS A PIECE OF TRASH.
Reporter: LIFE CAME
CRASHING DOWN WHEN THE MAN
SHE WAS ENGAGED TO DECIDED
HE DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY
HER.
THEN CAME ANOTHER BLOW.
HER MOTHER GOT CANCER.
WHEN I REALIZED SHE WAS
DYING, I SAID, I CAN'T DO
THIS TO HER.
SHE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME.
SHE HAS BEEN MY SUPPORTER
ALL THESE YEARS, AND SHE IS
DYING.
SO I WENT TO CHURCH AND I
LISTENED.
AND I REMEMBER THE MINISTER
TALKING ABOUT HOW GOD LOVES
YOU.
AND IT WAS AS IF HE WAS
TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME.
AND HE KEPT SAYING, GOD
LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT
YOU'VE DONE, NO MATTER WHO
YOU ARE, NO MATTER WHO YOU
HAVE HURT, NO MATTER WHAT
HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, HE
LOVES YOU.
AND IT BROKE MY HEART.
I REMEMBER SITTING THERE IN
THE BACK ROW, CRYING.
AND I REALIZED THAT GOD
LOVED ME.
AND ALTHOUGH I HAD BEEN IN
CHURCH MY WHOLE LIFE AS A
CHILD, I DID NOT REALIZE
THAT HE LOVED ME SO MUCH
THAT HE HAD DIED TO FORGIVE
PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME.
AT THAT POINT, THAT WAS THE
TURNING POINT FOR ME.
Reporter: IT TOOK TIME
AND PRAYER FOR ANGELA TO GET
ON HER FEET.
SHE WENT INTO COUNSELLING
FOR THE BULEMIA AND GOT
INVOLVED IN A CHURCH.
SHE FOUND WHERE SHE HAD NO
STRENGTH, GOD DID.
I WAS STILL THE SAME
PERSON ON THE OUTSIDE.
I FELT DIFFERENT INSIDE, BUT
I STILL HAD ALL OF THAT
NASTY STUFF HANGING ON ME.
AND HE BEGAN TO CHANGE MY
DESIRES.
HE TOOK AWAY MY DESIRE FOR
DRUGS.
HE TOOK AWAY MY DESIRE FOR
OTHER MEN.
HE TOOK AWAY THE VERY THING
THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST
DESTRUCTIVE THINGS IN MY
LIFE.
Reporter: THEN SHE MET
MICHAEL, AND THEY MARRIED.
AS FAR AS HER MUSIC, SHE IS
HEARD AROUND THE COUNTRY IN
BIKER BARS AND PRISONS WITH
A MESSAGE, TO FREE PEOPLE
FROM THE BLUES.
* I'M GONNA GET WHAT HE
PROMISED ME *
WHEN YOU TRY TO PLUG
SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY INTO
AN EMPTINESS IN YOUR LIFE,
IT'S NEVER GOING TO FILL
THAT HOLE.
*
Gordon: YOU CAN NEVER
FILL IT UP.
THE BIBLE TALKS AND SAYS --
THIS IS FROM SOLOMON, THAT
HE HAS PUT ETERNITY IN OUR
HEARTS.
THAT WE HAVE THE CAPACITY TO
FEEL AND TO EXIST ON AN
INFINITE BASIS, AND THAT'S
GOD-GIVEN.
BUT UNLESS YOU FILL UP THAT
ETERNITY WITH HIM, THERE IS
ALWAYS GOING TO BE AN
EMPTINESS.
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FILL
IT UP.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN
THE WORLD TO FILL IT UP.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SEX.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH DRUGS.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH
ALCOHOL.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH THINGS
THAT THE WORLD OFFERS THAT
WILL EVER FILL THAT UP
BECAUSE IT IS AN INFINITE
THING.
IT IS ETERNITY, AND IT IS IN
OUR HEARTS.
AND GOD DID THAT SO THAT WE
WOULD WANT A RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIM, THAT WE WOULD
NATURALLY WANT THAT.
NOW, WE MESSED THAT UP.
YOU KNOW, GOD'S PLAN WAS FOR
US TO BE IN A GARDEN AND
ENJOY HIM.
THAT WAS GOD'S PLAN.
AND WE'RE THE ONES THAT
MESSED IT UP.
AND IN THE PROCESS OF
MESSING IT UP, SOME OF YOU
ARE JUST LIKE ANGELA, YOU
THINK THERE IS NO WAY A
RIGHTEOUS GOD WILL HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.
WELL, YOU COULDN'T BE ANY
FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH
BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS VERY
CLEARLY, AND THIS IS THE
WORDS OF THE APOSTLE PAUL:
"THIS DAY IS WORTHY OF ALL
ACCEPTANCE, THAT JESUS
CHRIST CAME TO SAVE SINNERS,
OF WHOM I AM CHIEF."
AND WHEN YOU GET THE
UNDERSTANDING THAT JESUS
CAME FOR YOU, JUST FOR YOU,
AND JUST AS YOU ARE.
HE IS READY, WILLING, AND
ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU AND SET
YOU FREE RIGHT NOW.
AND HE DIDN'T COME THAT YOU
WOULD HAVE A WHOLE BUNCH OF
NEGATIVITY AND THAT YOU'D
LEARN ALL OF THE THINGS NOT
TO DO.
NO.
HE CAME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE
LIFE AND HAVE IT MORE
ABUNDANTLY.
THAT'S GOD'S PLAN.
AND HE HASN'T GIVEN UP ON
HIS DREAM.
SO IF THIS IS FOR YOU.
IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT,
WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO RIGHT
NOW IS GO TO THE PHONE AND
MAKE A TOLL-FREE CALL.
1-888-777-1999.
JUST TELL THE PERSON I WANT
TO ASK JESUS TO COME INTO MY
HEART.
MAKE THE CALL.
DO IT RIGHT NOW.
WE LEAVE YOU WITH THESE
WORDS FROM THE BIBLE: "THE
LORD IS GOOD.
WHEN TROUBLE COMES, HE IS A
STRONG REFUGE, AND HE KNOWS
EVERYONE WHO TRUSTS IN