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700 Club Canada: May 10, 2013

Watch the 700 Club Canada for May 10, 2013 Read Transcript


HELLO, I'M BRIAN WARREN.

AND I'M LAURA-LYNN TYLER

THOMPSON. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

LAURA-LYNN, WE'VE BEEN

TALKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THE

WHOLE WEEK. AND YOU KNOW,

THERE ARE TIMES WHERE THERE IS,

LET'S JUST SAY, UNREST IN EDEN.

A LITTLE FRICTION.

WHAT DO YOU BUTT HEADS

CONSTANTLY WITH YOUR HUSBAND

OVER?

THE ONLY THING THAT IS A

CONTINUAL ISSUE IS THE GARAGE.

WHAT IS ALL THAT STUFF? LIKE,

WHAT IS THAT? LIKE, WHAT IS IT?

CAN WE CALL IN THE, YOU KNOW,

THE BIG BINS AND, LIKE, LOAD

IT UP? AND APPARENTLY, WE

CAN'T.

YOU TOOK A BIG BREATH

ON THAT WHEN YOU SAID THAT.

WHAT IS THAT? YOU KNOW,

IT'S A BIT OF A SAVING.

YOU THINK YOU'RE.

THERE'S SOMETHING SAVED

THERE.

WE NEED TO PRAY FOR YOU

ON THAT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, WITH ME, IT'S

MOSTLY TIME, BECAUSE,

KAREN, WE WORK IN

MINISTRY TOGETHER. AND

IT'S, YOU KNOW, SERMONS,

EVERYTHING, AND IT'S EDITING,

EDITING, AND I'M, LIKE.

YEAH, YEAH. SHE WANTS.

> SO CUTTING AND PASTING.

DOES SHE WANT MORE TIME

WITH YOU?

NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, UNH-UNH,

ACTUALLY, SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE

THAT WE'RE MOVING FORWARD.

LIKE, "BRIAN, WRAP IT UP, WRAP

WRAP IT UP," LIKE OUR PRODUCER

RIGHT NOW. SO I'M GOING TO

MOVE FORWARD.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW, ON TODAY'S SHOW,

WE CAP OFF AN EXCITING WEEK OF

CELEBRATING RELATIONSHIPS. AND

WE'VE SEEN SOME INCREDIBLE

STORIES OF COUPLES OVERCOMING

UNBELIEVABLE ODDS TO KEEP

THEIR MARRIAGES AND

RELATIONSHIPS TOGETHER.

YOU'LL SEE HOW FORGIVENESS

LED TO A MIRACLE FOR STEVE AND

SHELLY BELLEVA, AND WHY IT'S

THE ONLY REASON THEY'RE STILL

MARRIED TODAY.

AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT,

KATHY MULLINS, WILL BE HERE

AGAIN WITH SOME IMPORTANT

ADVICE TO HELP YOUR

RELATIONSHIP GROW AND BECOME

BETTER THAN EVER.

BUT FIRST, THE BELLEVAS FIND

SUCCESS IN LIFE AT THE EXPENSE

OF THEIR MARRIAGE. SOUND

FAMILIAR? THIS IS A MIRACLE OF

RESTORATION FOR STEVE AND

SHELLY.

MUSIC

WHEN I FIRST MET SHELLY,

SHE JUST WAS A LOT OF FUN,

ALWAYS LAUGHING, AND SHE WAS

BEAUTIFUL, AND SHE CAUGHT MY

EYE INSTANTLY BECAUSE OF THAT.

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST,

WHAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO WAS

THAT HE WAS, LIKE, THE BAD KID,

ACTUALLY. I WAS THE GOOD GIRL.

I WASN'T THE ONE TO GET IN

TROUBLE.

WE DATE THREE YEARS BEFORE

WE ENDED UP DECIDING THAT WE

WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED.

RIGHT BEFORE WE GOT

MARRIED, WE STARTED WORKING

WITH A YOUTH MINISTRY. STEVE

WAS ACTUALLY GETTING LICENSED

TO BE A PASTOR.

WE GOT MARRIED WHEN SHELLY

WAS 19 AND I WAS 21.

I LOVED THAT I NOW HAD A

HUSBAND I LOVED THAT I WAS

GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY

LIFE WITH STEVE, MY HIGH

SCHOOL SWEETHEART. I LED

WORSHIP. HE, YOU KNOW, WAS THE

LEAD PASTOR.

ABOUT EIGHT YEARS INTO OUR

MARRIAGE, WE HAD BUILT A

MINISTRY FROM 23 STUDENTS TO

HUNDREDS OF KIDS, AND I HAD A

STAFF WITH ME, AND JUST ALL THE

THINGS, FROM THE OUTSIDE, LOOKS

LIKE SUCCESS IN MINISTRY.

MUSIC

WILL YOUR GRACE RUN OUT?

IF I LET.

WE STOPPED INVESTING. WE

DON'T ALWAYS HAVE THOSE BIG,

BOLD WARNING SIGNS.

SINGING

'CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS

HOW TO RUN.

YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE.

GET HELP.

SINGING

'CAUSE I AM A SINNER,

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING,

IT'S ANOTHER.

IT WAS SLOWLY PULLING ME AWAY

AND THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

BALANCE IN THERE.

SINGING

IN LIFE. BUT YOU ARE A

SAVIOR AND YOU TAKE

BROKENNESS ASIDE,

AND MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL.

IT FELT RIGHT BECAUSE, YOU

KNOW, LIKE, WE'RE WORKING FOR

GOD. THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO

DO.

IN MY LIFE, I SET UP A LOT

OF BOUNDARIES. BUT I NEVER HAD

KIND OF A GUARD AROUND MY

MARRIAGE. SO MINISTRY STARTED

TO JUST TAKE ALL OF MY TIME AND

ALL OF MY ATTENTION.

ALL OF HIS AFFIRMATION WAS

COMING THROUGH THE MINISTRY.

"YOU'RE DOING AMAZING," YOU

KNOW, "THAT WAS A LIFE-CHANGING

MESSAGE," OR, YOU KNOW, "THE

WAY THAT YOU BRING INSIGHT."

AND SOME OF THOSE THINGS

STARTED TO ALLOW ME TO ALMOST

BECOME INTOXICATED.

AND I BEGAN TO FEEL LIKE I

WASN'T MATTERING TOO MUCH IN

PICTURE ANY MORE. AND SO I

BEGAN TO RESENT THE FACT THAT

I WENT INTO MINISTRY WITH MY

HUSBAND, AND ULTIMATELY IT MADE

ME RESENT GOD, GOD AS A WHOLE.

I NEVER REALLY NOTICED AT FIT

THAT THERE WAS EVEN A DISTANCE

FORMING BETWEEN ME AND SHELLY.

SO MANY LIES THAT KEPT

CREEPING INTO MY MIND. "IF YOU

HAD NEVER MARRIED HIM, YOU

NEVER WOULD BEEN IN THIS SPOT."

SLOWLY, THE ENEMY COMES IN

AND STARTS PULLING US TO THE SIE

AND PULLING US APART.

AND IN THE WORD OF GOD IT

SAYS THAT SATAN'S COME TO

STEAL, KILL, AND DESTROY.

THROUGH THIS TIME, SATAN HAD

STOLEN AWAY FROM ME MY JOY.

HE HAD STOLEN AWAY MY LOVE FOR

THE MINISTRY. HE HAD STOLEN

AWAY MY LOVE FOR MY HUSBAND.

AND I KNEW THAT THINGS WERE

FALLING APART. BEING THE

PASTOR'S WIFE, I FELT LIKE I

COULDN'T EVEN ADMIT THAT.

I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T EVEN ASK

FOR HELP.

YOU HIT A SPOT WHERE YOU

JUST REALIZE, NOW IT'S BROKEN,

AND WHAT DO YOU DO? HOW DO

YOU FIX IT? SO PRAYERS ARE

PRAYED, AND YOU HOPE THAT

GOD, MAYBE, WILL INTERVENE.

BUT IT JUST STARTS TO BECOME

MORE AND MORE FRACTURED, AND

BROKEN, AND YOU GET TO A SPOT

WHERE YOU JUST FEEL HELPLESS.

I FOUND ANOTHER MAN THAT

WOULD ALLOW ME TO SPEAK MY

PROBLEMS TO HIM. AND HE HAD NO

PROBLEM HEARING IT. HE WOULD

MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.

THROUGH THAT, IT LED TO A LIFE

OF SIN, AND AN AFFAIR THAT

LASTED A WHILE. AND EVERYTHING

WITHIN ME HAD JUST BECOME

COMPLETELY NUMB. SO, THE DAY

CAME WHERE MY HUSBAND UNCOVERED

THE AFFAIR AND EVERYTHING CAME .

THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT S

SO HURT, AND DEVASTATED, AND FEG

LIKE, "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO

ME?" BUT, THE SAD PART IS,

THERE WAS ALSO A LITTLE BIT A

SENSE OF RELIEF, TO WHERE I

FELT, LIKE, "NOW I'M RIGHT

BEFORE GOD TO END THIS

RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS MY TO GETF

THE

CHANCE TO GET OUT OF THE HELL

THAT I FELT LIKE I WAS IN. WE BE

TO A REALIZATION

BOTH CAME TO A REALIZATION THAT

WE WERE DONE. THAT THERE WAS

NO HOPE IN THIS MARRIAGE,

BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE LIED TO,

THERE'S A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF

BETRAYAL THAT TAKES PLACE IN

YOUR MIND WHERE, YOU KNOW,

YOU FEEL LIKE, "WAS ANYTHING

TRUE?"

I HAD LET SO MANY PEOPLE

DOWN AND SATAN TELLING ME THAT,

"NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE."

DURING THAT TIME, I JUST FELT

THE HOLY SPIRIT REALLY

IMPRESSING IN ME TO LOOK

PAST MY OWN PAIN, AND TO SEE

HOW CHRIST SEES HER, AND MY

HEART JUST STARTED TO GRIEVE

FOR HER SOUL. AND I REMEMBER

JUST SAYING TO HER, "I KNOW

THAT THERE IS NO WAY TO KIND

OF RECOVER FROM THIS, BUT I

WANT YOU TO KNOW, YOU KNOW,

HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU." AND

I REMEMBER GRABBING HER HANDS

TO PRAY.

I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T EVEN

UTTER A WORD TO GOD. THERE

WAS JUST A DEEP DARKNESS.

THAT NIGHT WE WENT TO BED,

AND I REMEMBER WAKING UP

PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORNING AND

JUST FEELING LIKE THE HOLY

SPIRIT WAS IMPRESSING ON ME TO

JUST GO AND JUST SEEK HIM.

I COULD HEAR STEVE JUST

CRYING OUT TO GOD, AND I KNEW

HE WAS CRYING OUT FOR ME.

I REMEMBER HEARING SO

CLEAR FROM GOD TO GO IN AND GET

HER. AND I WENT INTO THE ROOM,

AND I JUST GRABBED HER BY THE

HANDS, AND JUST STARTED CRYING

OUT TO GOD.

I FELT LIKE THERE WASN'T

ANYTHING THAT I COULD SAY TO

GOD.

GOD WAS DOING SOMETHING IN

ME AND DOING SOMETHING IN

HER.

I FELT GOD TELL ME THAT I

NEEDED TO GET ON MY FACE BEFORE

HIM.

AND I SAW SUCH A CLEAR

VISION OF THESE CHAINS THAT

WERE ATTACHED TO HER. AND I

WAS, LIKE, "NO, I JUST WANT

HER TO BE FREE." AND IN THAT

MOMENT, GOD DID SOMETHING SO

MIRACULOUS.

AND I CRIED OUT TO HIM IN

WAYS THAT I'VE NEVER CRIED OUT

BEFORE. AND I JUST HAD THIS

PICTURE OF TAKING ALL THESE

WORDS FROM HIS HEART THAT HE

HAD BEEN DYING TO HEAR FROM ME,

AND JUST PUT THEM RIGHT INTO MY

MOUTH. AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE

WORDS, I JUST CRIED OUT TO HIM.

AND IN THAT MOMENT, GOD SET ME

FREE, AND I FELT LIKE THERE WAS

GENUINE REPENTANCE, AND THAT

HE JUST COMPLETELY RELEASED ME.

AND I FELT LIKE THAT WAS THE

TIME IN SO LONG THAT I WAS ABLE

TO SPEAK TO HIM, AND THAT HE

CARED TO HEAR WHAT I HAD TO

SAY. AND A WEIGHT WAS JUST

COMPLETELY LIFTED OFF ME.

I WAS ABLE TO OFFER GENUINE

FORGIVENESS. AND IT WAS THREE

DAYS AFTER FINDING OUT THAT AN

AFFAIR WAS TAKING PLACE, I WAS

ABLE TO GENUINELY FORGIVE.

AND I REMEMBER JUST TELLING

HIM HOW SORRY I WAS FOR

EVERYTHING THAT I HAD DONE.

AND I WAS SO SORRY FOR HOW I

HAD HURT HIM, AND I JUST ASKED

HIM IF HE COULD FORGIVE ME.

AND OUR MARRIAGE HAS NEVER

BEEN THE SAME SINCE THEN.

WE JUST ARE LIVING IN

WHAT'S NEW, BECAUSE OF

REPENTANCE AND FORGIVENESS.

AND THOSE TWO PIECES ARE THE

MIRACLE OF RESTORATION.

IT'S BEEN ABOUT FOUR YEARS

NOW SINCE THE MIRACLE TOOK

PLACE. AND FOR THE FIRST THREE

YEARS, IT WAS JUST A TIME OF

WAITING ON GOD. AND DURING

THAT TIME I WAS REALLY DIGGING

INTO HIS WORD AND SPENDING A

LOT OF TIME IN PRAYER, AND JUST

REALLY SEEKING OUT WHO HE IS.

GOD, TO ME NOW, IS MY

EVERYTHING.

OUR MARRIAGE IS AMAZING.

WE LOVE EACH OTHER. OUR

MARRIAGE IS A PRIORITY. WE'RE

CONSTANTLY WORKING ON IT AND

CONSTANTLY WANT IT TO BE THE

BEST IT COULD BE. THE

MIRACLE THAT TOOK PLACE WITHIN

US IS THAT HE TOOK SOMETHING

THAT WAS SO BROKEN, AND

IN PIECES, AND BECAUSE OF

GENUINE FORGIVENESS AND

GENUINE REPENTANCE, HE MADE

SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL.

SINGING

'CAUSE I AM THE SINNER.

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING,

IT'S ANOTHER.

CAUGHT UP IN WORDS,

TANGLED IN LIES.

BUT YOU ARE THE SAVIOR AND TO

AND YOU TAKE BROKENNESS ASIDE

AND MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL,

BEAUTIFUL.

MUSIC

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU LOOK

AND STEVE AND SHELLY, IT REALLY

IS A TESTAMENT TO THE POWER OF

FORGIVENESS. AND.

ABSOLUTELY.

WOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT, BRIAN? NO

MATTER WHAT YOU'RE FACING

TODAY, WHETHER THERE'S BEEN

A BETRAYAL IN YOUR MARRIAGE,

GOD CAN HEAL IT. HE IS A

RESTORING GOD, AND YOU CAN

ABSOLUTELY TRUST IN HIS

FAITHFULNESS.

AMEN.

SO GIVE IT TO HIM.

ONLY GOD CAN TAKE A

SITUATION LIKE THE BELLAVA'S

AND MAKE SOMETHING

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL OUT OF IT.

IT'S WHY BRIAN AND I ARE HERE

EVERY DAY, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT

GOD IS A REDEEMING GOD, AND

EVERY LIFE THAT HE TOUCHES WILL

BE PROFOUNDLY CHANGED. WE NEED

YOU TO JOIN WITH US TO BECOME A

TORCH-BEARER FOR THE MESSAGE OF

JESUS CHRIST. WE'RE ASKING YOU

TODAY TO BELIEVE IN THE

MINISTRY OF THE 700 CLUB

CANADA. AND TO PUT YOUR SEAL

OF APPROVAL ON US BY BACKING US

WITH YOUR FINANCES. IT WON'T

BREAK YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, NOT

AT ALL. BUT WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR

PIECE, AND THEN WE JOIN IT ALL

TOGETHER, WE'RE ABLE TO KEEP

BRINGING YOU THESE INSPIRING

STORIES OF HOPE. THE ENEMY

GETS ANGRY WHEN HE SEES THIS

STUFF, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT

WE ARE TAKING BACK WHAT HE'S

STOLEN. WOULD YOU BE PART OF

FORCE THAT IS GOING INTO ENEMY

TERRITORY? MAKE YOUR VOICE

COUNT. CALL US NOW. WE ARE

SO BLESSED BY YOUR LOVE AND

KINDNESS FOR THE 700 CLUB

CANADA. GOD BLESS YOU SO MUCH,

AND MAY HE OPEN THE WINDOWS

OF HEAVEN AND POUR OUT A

BLESSING ON YOU FOR YOUR

GENEROSITY TODAY.

AMEN. AND YOU KNOW, I KNOW

HE IS OPENING UP THE WINDOWS OF

HEAVEN AND POURING OUT

BLESSINGS ON YOU, BECAUSE WE'RE

SEEING THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR

IN ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE

COMING FORWARD, AS WELL. YOU

KNOW, WHEN WE LOOK AT THE STEVE

SHELLY SYNDROME, NOT INVESTING

IN THE MARRIAGE, SPENDING A LOT

OF TIME IN THE BEGINNING, BUT

THEN LOSING INTEREST, AND

SPENDING MORE TIME INVESTING IN

OTHER THINGS, I THINK THAT'S WHT

STEVE SAID. BUT IT REMINDS US

OF THE PROPHET HOSEA. THE LORD

TOLD HIM TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO

WAS GOING TO BE UNFAITHFUL.

AND IT WAS TO ILLUSTRATE HOW

GOD LOVES HIS PEOPLE AND HE

NEVER GIVES UP ON THEM. AND

I LOVE WHAT STEVE SAID.

HE SAID, "GENUINE REPENTANCE,

GENUINE RESTORATION, GIVES

GENUINE CELEBRATION." AND

THEIR MARRIAGE IS BETTER THAN

IT'S EVER BEEN BEFORE. BUT IT

WASN'T EASY. THAT'S A

PROCESS. YOU NEED TO PROBABLY UD

UNDERSTAND SOME VERY IMPORTANT

TRUTHS. YOU CAN'T SAVE

YOURSELF. ONLY GOD CAN SAVE

YOU. IT'S FORGIVENESS. THAT'S

WHAT CHRISTIANITY IS ALL ABOUT.

THAT'S WHAT JESUS CAME TO

BRING, FORGIVENESS WITH THE

FATHER, THAT WE COULD LIVE A

LIFE OF FREEDOM. THE ENEMY

COMES TO KILL, STEAL, AND

DESTROY. BUT HE SAID, "I CAME

THAT YOU MAY HAVE LIFE, AND

LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY." I'M

GOING TO LEAD YOU IN A PRAYER.

BUT I'M GOING TO ASK YOU, CALL

THE NUMBER ON THE SCREEN, AND

THEN ASK FOR THIS, AND THIS IS

FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING. IF

YOU'VE BEEN BETRAYED OR YOU,

YOURSELF, ARE SAYING, "I NEED

THIS," JUST PRAY A SIMPLE

PRAYER. BELIEVE IT IN YOUR

HEART. "JESUS, TAKE THE

WHEEL. I SURRENDER. I NEED

YOU. I'M A SINNER, BUT I ASK

YOU TO SAVE ME." IN JESUS'

NAME, AMEN.

AMEN. IF YOU JUST PRAYED

THAT PRAYER WITH BRIAN, WOULD

YOU GIVE US A CALL AT

1-855-759-0700? PRAYER

PARTNERS ARE STANDING BY.

AMEN.

TOO OFTEN, WE CARRY BAGGAGE

FROM OUR PAST. YOU KNOW WHAT

IT'S LIKE. IT AFFECTS

EVERYTHING, AND EVERYONE

IN OUR LIVES. IT'S ALWAYS

THERE, WEIGHING US DOWN, AND

KEEPING US FROM ACHIEVING TRUE

HAPPINESS. BUT DO YOU KNOW,

GOD NEVER MEANT FOR US TO BE

TRAPPED IN THE PAST? YOU CAN

BE FREE OF YOUR BAGGAGE.

LEARN HOW GOD'S FORGIVENESS

LEADS TO CHANGED LIVES AND NEW

BEGINNINGS. CALL THE 700 CLUB.

MUSIC

WELCOME BACK. TODAY IS

LAURA-LYNN'S LAST DAY WITH

RELATIONAL AND INTER-HEALING

EXPERT, KATHY MULLEN. NOW,

IF YOU'VE EVER FELT LIKE YOU'RE

BEYOND GOD'S HELP, YOU DO NOT

WANT TO MISS THIS.

MUSIC

KATHY, I'M ALWAYS EXCITED

TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

ON THE SHOW SO THAT I CAN GET

A LITTLE BIT OF FREE

COUNSELING. I DON'T HAVE TO

PAY FOR YOU TO BE HERE. AND SO

IT'S A GOOD DAY FOR US TO

EXAMINE SOME OF THE THINGS

THAT GO ON IN EVERY HUMAN

HEART. TODAY, KATHY, WE WANTED

TO TALK ABOUT THE ISSUE OF

FORGIVENESS. AND THIS IS HUGE,

I THINK. IT'S SO EASY FOR US,

IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS, TO JUST

KIND OF BEGIN TO SET UP WALLS

WHEN WE DO NOT OPERATE IN

FORGIVENESS. AND MAYBE WE

JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

AND I KNOW THAT THIS IS AN

AREA YOU ARE VERY, VERY

PASSIONATE ABOUT. SO LET'S

START OFF TALKING ABOUT THAT

PERSON THAT IS STRUGGLING WITH

BEING ABLE TO JUST LET GO OF,

MAYBE, SOME LARGER THINGS,

OFFENSES IN THEIR LIFE, OR SOME

SMALLER THINGS. WHAT DO YOU

TELL THEM IN YOUR SEMINARS?

BASICALLY, I TELL THEM THAT

THEY NEED TO DO THAT JUST

BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER BE

FREE UNLESS THEY DO. AS LONG

AS THEY CONTINUE TO NOT FORGIVE

THE INDIVIDUAL, THEY WILL

ALWAYS HAVE A HOOK IN THEM

THAT THE ENEMY WILL USE TO

CAUSE THEM GRIEF DOWN THE ROAD.

SO OFTEN THEY THINK THAT, "IF I

FORGIVE, THEN IT MEANS I'M

LETTING THEM OFF THE HOOK," OR

LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH WHAT

THEY'VE DONE TO YOU. AND THAT'S

NOT CASE, BECAUSE WHEN YOU

CHOOSE TO MAKE THAT STEP OF

FORGIVENESS, WHAT IT DOES IS,

IT GIVES GOD PERMISSION TO STEP

IN THAT PLACE OF BRINGING THEM

TO THE POINT OF UNDERSTANDING

WHAT THEY'VE DONE.

AND WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE

PERSON WHO SAYS, "YOU KNOW,

THAT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT

I DON'T KNOW THAT GOD IS GOING

TO REALLY, I DON'T KNOW IF I

TRUST GOD TO DEAL WITH THIS

SITUATION. I DON'T KNOW IF

I TRUST GOD THAT I CAN JUST,

LIKE YOU SAY, 'LET THEM OFF THE

HOOK.' THEY'VE REALLY HURT ME."

SOMETIMES WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

BETRAYAL IN A MARRIAGE, RIGHT?

SOMETIMES, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

CRUELTY, SOMEBODY WHO'S

ABUSIVE. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO

THE PERSON? WHAT IS THE STEPS,

THE BABY STEPS, IN ORDER TO

BEGIN REALLY LETTING IT GO?

NUMBER ONE, I GUESS YOU'RE

ASKING THEM TO TRUST GOD. AND

THAT'S QUITE A STEP.

YEAH, TRUSTING GOD IS

ALWAYS A BIG THING. BUT,

BASICALLY, YOU NEED TO ASKING

THE LORD FOR HIS GRACE TO

POUR INTO YOU, SO THAT YOU WILL

THEN BE ABLE TO DO WHAT HE'S

DONE FOR YOU. BECAUSE GOD IS

FORGIVING YOU OF EVERYTHING

THAT YOU HAVE DONE, ASSUMING

THAT YOU'VE ASKED HIM FOR YOUR

FORGIVENESS. BUT HE'S ALSO

SAID THAT YOU, THEN, ALSO HAVE

TO FORGIVE OTHERS. LIKE THE

WORD SAYS, TO "DO UNTO OTHERS

AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO

YOU." WELL, BASICALLY, LIKE,

YOU NEED TO FORGIVE BECAUSE

YOU WANT TO BE FORGIVEN

YOURSELF. AND IF YOU WANT AN

OPEN AND FREE RELATIONSHIP WITH

THE HEAVENLY FATHER, YOU NEED

TO EXTEND FORGIVENESS TO PEOPLE

THAT HAVE CAUSED YOU OFFENSE.

NOW, FORGIVENESS DOESN'T MEAN

THAT YOU HAVE TO BE IN AN

ONGOING RELATIONSHIP WITH

SOMEONE, IF THEY'VE CAUSED YOU

GRIEF IN THE PAST. THAT'S

OFTEN A HUGE ROADBLOCK.

AND PEOPLE SAY, "I DON'T WANT

TO FORGIVE THEM BECAUSE I DON'T

WANT TO HAVE TO SEE THEM EVER

AGAIN." THAT'S NOT FORGIVENESS,

THAT'S RECONCILIATION. AND

THEY'RE TWO COMPLETELY

SEPARATE THINGS. FORGIVENESS

MEANS THAT YOU HAVE CLEARED

THE SLATE. YOU'RE NOT GOING

OVER IT ANYMORE. YOU'RE

LETTING GO OF IT. YOU'RE

LETTING GOD HEAL THE HURT.

IT'S NOT RUNNING OVER IN

YOUR MIND OVER AND OVER.

YOU'VE RELEASED IT.

RIGHT, RIGHT, YOU'RE NOT

KEEPING A RECORD. YOU'RE NOT

KEEPING A RECORD ANY MORE OF

EVERYTHING THAT THEY'VE EVER

DONE. YOU'VE RELEASED IT THE

SAME WAY GOD'S RELEASED YOU AND

ALL OF YOUR SINS AND FORGIVEN

YOU. YOU ARE CALLED TO DO THE

SAME THING. SO THAT'S WHAT

FORGIVENESS IS. RECONCILIATION

MEANS THAT YOU RECOGNIZE THAT

THAT THINGS HAVE CHANGED

BETWEEN YOU, AND YOU'RE

WORKING TO BRING THAT BACK INTO

PROPER RELATIONSHIP AGAIN

WITHOUT ONGOING ABUSE, AND

STUFF LIKE THAT. BUT THAT TAKES

A LONG TIME TO RE-ESTABLISH.

AND OFTEN PEOPLE AREN'T WILLING

TO DO THAT, IF IT'S BEEN A BAD

HISTORY.

AND KATHY, WHAT KIND OF ROLE,

THOUGH, DOES A PERSON'S

PERSONALITY PLAY INTO THE

ABILITY TO FORGIVE? FOR

SOME PEOPLE IT'S MUCH SIMPLER.

SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN

FORGIVEN FOR A LOT FROM THEIR

PAST, FOR INSTANCE, WOULD FEEL

THAT, "I HAVE RECEIVED CHRIST'S

FORGIVENESS, AND THEREFORE I

JUST AM FREELY ABLE TO

FORGIVE OTHERS WHEN OFFENSES

COME MY WAY." BUT THERE SOME

WHO STRUGGLE WITH IT MORE,

BECAUSE ACTUALLY, THEY DO THE

RIGHT THINGS. THEY TREAT

PEOPLE RIGHT. THEY HAVE LIVED

A LIFE THAT'S KIND OF BEEN

PRETTY GOOD. AND DO YOU THINK

THAT THAT PERSONALITY, AT

TIMES, WILL STRUGGLE MORE WITH

THE NEED TO FORGIVE?

PROBABLY, BECAUSE THAT TYPE

OF PERSONALITY SETS THEMSELF UP

IN PLACE OF GOD.

MM-HMM. PRIDE.

PRIDE. IF THEY'RE THINKING

THEMSELVES TO BE THAT

SELF-RIGHTEOUS, "OH, I'VE LIVED

A GOOD LIFE. I DON'T HAVE ANY

PROBLEMS," THEY'VE PLACED

THEMSELVES AT GOD'S LEVEL, AND

THEY'RE SAYING, "LET ME BE THE

JUDGE OVER WHAT PEOPLE HAVE

DONE IN MY LIFE." AND SAYING,

"OKAY, GOD, I'M GOING TO THEM SU

FORGIVE THEM SO CAN BE THE

JUDGE."

RIGHT.

".OVER THEIR LIFE." AND I

PERSONALLY WOULDN'T WANT TO BE

IN GOD'S POSITION. I WOULD

RATHER LET HIM LOOK AFTER THAT.

IT'S A BIG JOB.

YEAH.

BIG SHOES TO FILL. HOW DO

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE

TRULY FORGIVEN SOMEONE, AND

PERHAPS WHEN YOU NEED TO DO

SOME MORE WORK ON IT?

ONE OF THE WAYS YOU CAN TELL

IS IF WHEN YOU REMEMBER A

PARTICULARLY PAINFUL EVENT, IT

NO LONGER TRIGGERS A HUGE

EMOTIONAL REACTION, OR PHYSICAL

REACTION. IF YOU CAN JUST

REMEMBER IT AND SAY, "YEAH,

THAT HAPPENED," WITHOUT A LOT

OF PAIN ATTACHED TO IT, THEN

YOU'VE PROBABLY COMPLETELY

FORGIVEN, BECAUSE FORGIVENESS

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'LL NEVER

FORGET. IT MEANS THAT YOU'LL

REMEMBER WITHOUT THE PAIN ATTAC.

ATTACHED. ANOTHER WAY YOU CAN

TELL, AND I THINK THIS IS

REALLY CRITICAL, IS IF YOU CAN

BE IN A PERSONAL CONVERSATION

WITH SOMEONE, AND THIS OTHER

PERSON HAS AN ISSUE WITH THE

PERSON WHO HURT YOU, AND IF YOU

CAN BE THERE AND NOT ADD

FUEL TO THEIR FIRE BY SAYING,

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID

TO ME?" THEN YOU'VE PROBABLY

FORGIVEN. BUT IF DECIDE TO

SAY, "WELL, LET ME TELL YOU

WHAT THEY DID TO ME, AND THIS,

AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS,"

THEN YOU PROBABLY STILL HAVE

SOME ISSUES TO WORK THROUGH.

YES, AND YOU KNOW, KATHY,

HAVEN'T WE ALL KNOWN THAT

PERSON THAT CAN JUST RECOUNT

SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED

MAYBE 20 OR 30 YEARS AGO, AND

STILL HAVE AN ANGST AND AN

ANGER. YOU CAN SEE IT IN

THEIR EYES. THEY STILL HAVE A

LOT OF EMOTION ATTACHED TO

THAT. HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO DO

WORK WITH SOMEBODY WHO'S IN

THAT FAR, YOU KNOW, FAR AWAY

FROM THE OFFENSE, AND BRING

THEM TO A PLACE OF TRUE

FORGIVENESS?

IT'S A PROCESS.

YES.

IT'S A DAY-BY-DAY THING.

SOMEONE HAS TO, ACTUALLY, THE

STEPS I WOULD DO IS, ASK GOD

FOR THE GRACE TO DO IT, AND

THEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT

CHOICE. "I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE."

AND YOU MAY HAVE TO DO THAT ON

A DAILY BASIS, MINUTE-BY-MINUTE

BASIS.

AND IT'S WORTH IT, ISN'T IT,

KATHY? BECAUSE WE CAN

RELEASE ALL OF THAT, AND NOT

CARRY AROUND, NOT HAVE THAT

HOOK INSIDE OF US? WELL,

COMING UP NEXT, WE HAVE

PART FIVE OF OUR SERIES,

"MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS." THIS

IS PHILLIP AND HOLLY WAGNER.

MUSIC

HONORING SOMEBODY IS

GIVING VALUE TO THEM. WHEN

YOU HONOR SOMEBODY, YOU VALUE

THEM, WHAT THEY DO OR HAVE

DONE, AND YOU BRING UP THE

SIGNIFICANCE OF WHO THEY ARE.

AND IT'S IN EVERYDAY LITTLE

THINGS. IT'S THE TONE THAT YOU

TAKE. IT'S THE RESPECT THAT

YOU SHOW. IT'S THE TENDER

TOUCH. IT'S MAKING, JUST

GIVING THEM THAT PLACE OF HONOR

IN EVERYDAY LITTLE THINGS. IT'S

NOT THAT HARD. IT'S NOT THAT

SPOOKY. IT'S NOT THAT

COMPLICATED. EVERY DAY, THERE

ARE LITTLE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO

SHOW HONOR.

YEAH. ONE OF THE THINGS I'D

START WITH WOULD BE, "WHAT IS

IT THAT I DO THAT'S HONORING TO

YOU, THAT MAKES YOU FEEL

HONORED?" OR, "WHAT DO I DO

THAT'S DISHONORING TO YOU?"

BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE'RE NOT

EVEN AWARE OF WHAT IT IS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND IT TAKES A LITTLE

COURAGE TO SAY, "WHAT DO I DO

THAT DISHONORING?" BECAUSE WHEN

YOU HEAR IT, YOU THINK, "I

THOUGHT YOU LIKED THAT," OR,

"THAT'S JUST ME." AND SO

THAT'S IMPORTANT. ONE OF THE

WAYS I HONOR HER IS THAT WHEN

WE'VE HAD CONVERSATIONS AND SHE

SAYS SOMETHING, "I DON'T FEEL

LIKE I'M IMPORTANT TO YOU."

SO HOW I HONOR HER IS VALUE

WHAT SHE SAID. I USED TO SAY.

"WHY WOULD YOU FEEL THAT," OR,

"OF COURSE I LOVE YOU, AND

YOU'RE IMPORTANT." BUT I'M

DISMISSING WHAT SHE'S SAYING.

RIGHT.

BUT THEN I WOULD SAY, "OH,

I'M SO SORRY THAT YOU FEEL THAT

YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT TO ME, AND

DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO FEEL LIKE

THAT WHEN THEY'RE WITH ME,

ESPECIALLY YOU. SO, WHAT I'M

GOING TO DO IS, DO WHATEVER I

CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU KNOW

YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO ME." THAT

LEADS TO A WHOLE OTHER

CONVERSATION.

RIGHT.

BECAUSE I'VE HONORED HER

AND NOT WENT, "OH, YOU'RE TOO

EMOTIONAL."

HE HONORED MY FEELINGS. AND

I THINK SOMETIMES MEN CAN BE

DISMISSIVE OF FEELINGS, BECAUSE

THEY TEND TO BE A LITTLE

MORE LOGICAL. BUT FEELINGS

AREN'T ALWAYS LOGICAL. AND

SO HE WOULD HONOR HOW I'M

FEELING AND NOT TRY TO CHANGE

HOW I'M FEELING. AND SO WHEN

HE DID THAT, THEN I FELT FREE,

ACTUALLY, TO EXPRESS MYSELF,

AND IT MADE ME TRUST HIM MORE.

IT OPENED THE DOOR. HONOR

OPENS THE DOOR TO JUST A DEEPER

LEVEL OF INTIMACY.

MUSIC

LAURA-LYNN, YOU KNOW, WHEN

YOU THINK ABOUT HONOR, REALLY,

ULTIMATELY, HONOR COMES WHEN

WE HONOR GOD FIRST. WHEN WE

SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD

IN HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, ALL ELSE

IS ADDED. AND WHEN YOU LOVE

GOD MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOUR

HUSBAND, OR LOVE YOUR WIFE,

THEN YOU'LL LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

AND WIFE MORE THAN ANYBODY

ELSE.

ABSOLUTELY. YOU KNOW, TRUE

REPENTANCE COMES WHEN WE HAVE

A FEAR OF GOD, AND WE WANT TO

PLEASE HIM, AND WE WANT TO DO

WHAT'S RIGHT.

YEP.

AND THAT IS WHAT BRINGS A

MARRIAGE TOGETHER. THAT

IS HOW YOU CAN FORGIVE. AND

FOR MANY OF US, WHEN WE KNOW

HOW MUCH WE HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN,

WE THEN ARE ABLE TO EXTEND THAT

FORGIVENESS TO OUR SPOUSE OVER

LITTLE, TINY INFRACTIONS.

SURE.

.OR HUGE INFRACTIONS, LIKE

BETRAYAL. GOD IS A GOD OF

RESTORATION, AND THERE IS HOPE

FOR EVERY ONE OF US.

AND THE ONLY WAY THAT WE

REALLY CAN DEMONSTRATE GRACE,

IT'S NOT THROUGH SELF-HELP, BUT

IT'S THROUGH GOD'S HELP, AND

IT'S THROUGH THE POWER OF THE

HOLY SPIRIT, BECAUSE, REALLY,

YOU KNOW, ALL OF US, WHO ARE WE

TO BE OFFENDED WHEN WE'VE

OFFENDED GOD SO MUCH?

YES.

SO WE CAN LOOK AT OUR SPOUSE

IN THE LIGHT THAT GOD HAS

FORGIVEN US. AND THEN YOU WILL

BE ABLE TO SEE THAT HE CAN GET

YOU THROUGH SOME OF THE

TOUGHEST SITUATIONS, BECAUSE,

NO MATTER IF YOU HAVE A ROUGH

MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB, HE GIVES YOU

THE SHOES TO CLIMB IT, AND

HIND'S FEET FOR YOUR HIGH

PLACES. SO BE ENCOURAGED TODAY.

HE REALLY DOES, BUT THE

FIRST PLACE IS THAT WE WOULD

RECEIVE HIM, AND THAT WE WOULD

ALLOW HIM THAT RIGHT, AND ACCESS

INTO OUR LIVES, TO CHANGE OUR

HEARS FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES A GOOD

MARRIAGE.

WELL, LIKE KATHY SAID. YOU

KNOW WHAT? IT STARTS WITH A

GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF GOD.

AND YOU GOT THAT TODAY. WE

LOOK FORWARD TO BEING WITH YOU

ALL AGAIN REAL SOON. UNTIL

NEXT TIME, I'M BRIAN WARREN.

AND I'M LAURA-LYNN TYLER

THOMPSON. HAVE A WONDERFUL

DAY, CANADA.

GOD BLESS.

WHAT IF YOU KNEW HELL IS

REAL, BECAUSE YOU'D SEEN IT?

THE STENCH OF HELL IS THE

MOST ROTTENEST THING THAT YOU

CAN EVER SMELL IN YOUR LIFE.

BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

I LOOKED UP, AND I SAW DEATH,

AND I SAW HELL IN HIS EYES.

HOW WOULD IT CHANGE THE

WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE?

I WOULD SAY, "I'M SORRY AND

PLEASE FORGIVE ME." THE

REPENTANCE WAS VERY IMPORTANT.

GET THE REAL STORY FROM

PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED

LIFE BEYOND THE GRAVE.

TO CONTACT US, PHONE

1-855-759-0700, OR BY EMAIL,

CBA@700CLUB.CA, OR MAIL

CHRISTIAN BROADCASTING

ASSOCIATES INCORPORATE,

THAT'S 700 CLUB CANADA, P.O.

BOX 700, SCARBOROUGH,

ONTARIO M1S4T4, OR VISIT US AT

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ON THE NEXT 700 CLUB CANADA,

TWENTY-EIGHT-YEAR-OLD CARRIE

SHANKEL WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE HER

MOTHER AND FATHER FOR AN EARLY

CHRISTMAS VISIT. BEFORE

HANGING UP THE PHONE, RANDY

HEARD HER DOORBELL. NO ONE

KNOWS FOR SURE WHO WAS AT

CARRIE'S DOOR OR WHAT HAPPENED,

BUT IT ENDED CARRIE'S LIFE.

EMBED THIS VIDEO

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