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When God Washes Away a Man's Lust

Matt's addiction to pornography was a dirty little secret until it escalated to sex with a prostitute. Read Transcript


THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I

HEARD THEM.

I WAS CONFUSED, VERY

CONFUSED.

THERE WAS EVEN A TIME OR TWO

THAT I CAN RECALL WHERE I

WAS IN THE SAME ROOM.

Reporter: THE SOUNDS

MATT REMEMBERS MOST AS A BOY

CAME FROM HIS MOTHER'S

BEDROOM WHEN HER VARIOUS

BOYFRIENDS SLEPT OVER.

ON A VISIT TO HIS DAD'S, HE

LEARNED WHAT THOSE SOUNDS

WERE WHEN HE FOUND PORN

MAGAZINES AND ADVICE.

SECRETLY WATCHING THE VIDEOS

BECAME A HIGHLIGHT OF HIS

VISITS.

I FELT A SENSE OF

CURIOSITY, EXCITEMENT.

TO ME IT WAS NORMAL BECAUSE

THAT'S ALL I WITNESSED.

THAT'S ALL I WAS AROUND.

I GOT GOOD AT FIGURING OUT

HOW TO HIGH IT, CONCEAL IT.

IT BECAME A WAY OF LIFE,

MANIPULATING AND LYING AND

HIDING.

Reporter: WHEN MATT

TOOK A JOB IN LAS VEGAS

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, HIS

BOYHOOD FASCINATION WITH

PORN TURNED INTO AN

OBSESSION WITH SEX.

HE DISCOVERED NUDE CLUBS.

AND NOW SEX WAS ALWAYS ON

HIS MIND.

DEFINITELY IN MY HEAD AND

THOUGHTS, YOU KNOW.

IT WAS SOMETHING I COULD GO

RIGHT TO WHEN I WAS BORED,

STRESSED, WHATEVER IT IS.

I JUST WANTED TO ESCAPE FOR

A SECOND.

Reporter: WHEN HE

WASN'T ON THE VEGAS STRIP,

HE WAS ON THE INTERNET.

HIS ADDICTION GREW STRONGER

UNTIL HE WAS WATCHING PORN

SEVERAL TIMES A DAY, EVEN ON

HIS PHONE.

NOW I HAVE INTERNET

ACCESS IN MY POCKET

EVERYWHERE I GO, ANYWHERE.

Reporter: AND THEN HE

MET AMY, AND IT WASN'T LONG

BEFORE SHE BECAME

MRS. KOWALSKI, BUT MATT HAD

NO INTENTION OF STOPPING HIS

SECRET HABIT.

I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING

WAS WRONG ABOUT THE FACT I

LOOKED AT PORNOGRAPHY WHILE

IN A COMMITTED

RELATIONSHIP.

I GOT IN MY MIND I WASN'T

CHEATING.

IT WAS OKAY.

IT WAS IMAGES AND FANTASY,

ULTIMATELY.

Reporter: SOON THEY

STARTED A FAMILY, AND AMY

NEVER SUSPECTED MATT'S

OBSESSION WITH PORN.

SHE THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS

FINE UNTIL SHE DISCOVERED

THE SITES ON THE FAMILY

COMPUTER.

I FELT SHOCKED.

I FELT LIKE THERE WAS THIS

SECRET, LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW

HIM.

I INSTANTLY FELT SICK TO MY

STOMACH.

Reporter: MATT PROMISED

AMY HE WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN,

BUT IT WAS AN EMPTY PROMISE

BECAUSE BY NOW MATT HAD NO

CONTROL OVER HIS ADDICTION.

I NEED MORE.

MY THRESHOLD GROWS, AND I

NEED TO SEEK OUT DIFFERENT

IMAGES, DIFFERENT

PORNOGRAPHY, DIFFERENT

THINGS.

Reporter: AS THEIR

FAMILY GREW, AMY BELIEVED

MATT HAD PUT THE PORN BEHIND

HIM.

SHE WAS WRONG.

INSTEAD, MATT STEPPED DEEPER

INTO HIS OBSESSION.

IMAGES WERE NO LONGER

ENOUGH.

WHEN HE FOUND A WEBSITE FOR

A VEGAS CALL GIRL SERVICE,

MATT MADE AN APPOINTMENT AND

FOLLOWED THROUGH.

I FELT ASHAMED.

I JUST FELT LIKE I WAS IN

THIS DARKNESS, ALONE, DIRTY,

PATHETIC, GUILTY.

I KNEW IF I WOULD CONFESS

THIS, THAT WOULD BE THE END

OF OUR FAMILY, OUR

MARRIAGE.

CAN I USE YOUR PHONE.

Reporter: BUT AMY

DISCOVERED MATT'S UGLY

SECRET.

SHE BORROWED HIS CELL PHONE,

AND THE PROSTITUTE WEBSITE

PROPPED UP IN HIS BROWSER.

TELL ME WHAT THIS IS?

I CAN'T SEE IT.

HE WANTED TO GET THE

PHONE AWAY FROM ME AND

DELETE IT BEFORE I COULD SEE

MORE.

GIVE ME THE PHONE AND

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

AMY!

AMY!

Reporter: MATT TOLL AMY

THE TRUTH.

IT WAS NOTHING THAT WAS

EVER ON MY RADAR, ANYTHING I

WOULD EVER EXPECT.

I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN

PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO

THINK.

IT IS LIKE EVERYTHING HAD

JUST CRUMBLED COMPLETELY

APART IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT

THAT MOMENT.

GET OUT OF MY WAY.

Reporter: AMY TOLD MATT

SHE WAS LEAVING.

HE-LEGGED HEHE BEGGED HER

TO STAY AND PROMISED TO GET

HELP.

RELUCTANTLY SHE AGREED.

HE WENT INTO A COUNSELLING

PROGRAM BASED ON CHRISTIAN

PRINCIPLES.

BUT MATT WASN'T INTERESTED

IN LEARNING ABOUT GOD.

HE JUST WANTED HELP.

WE DID A LOT OF WORK ON

GETTING DOWN TO THE FAMILY

DYNAMICS, THAT REALLY WAS

THE DRIVING BEHAVIORS IN MY

LIFE THAT WAS RUNNING FROM,

IGNORING.

THROUGH THAT PROCESS, GOD

BEGAN WORKING ON MY HEART.

Reporter: MATT REALIZED

THE ONLY WAY TO BE HEALED

FROM HIS ADDICTION WAS TO

SURRENDER HIS LIFE TO JESUS

CHRIST.

WHEN I ASKED CHRIST INTO

MY HEART, INTO MY LIFE, AND

TO LEAD ME AND TO HEAL ME

AND TO DIRECT MY LIFE, AND

TO SHOW ME HIM, I FELT

LIGHTER.

I FELT LIKE I WASN'T AS

HEAVY, LIKE A WEIGHT WAS

LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS,

LIKE THERE WAS HOPE.

Reporter: GOD WAS

WORKING IN AMY'S HEART, TOO,

WHILE ATTENDING FAMILY

SESSIONS OFFERED BY MATT'S

PROGRAM.

I SAW THE PEOPLE THAT I

WANTED TO HAVE THE LIFE LIKE

THEY DID, AND I WANTED TO

HAVE THE MARRIAGES THEY DID

AND THE FAMILIES THEY DID.

AND I SAW THAT GOD WAS THE

COMMON DENO DENOMINATOR IN

EVERYTHING THEY HAD.

AND I SAW THIS PEACE I HAD

NEVER SEEN BEFORE, AND

HAPPINESS AND JOY.

Reporter: AMY ACCEPTED

JESUS CHRIST AS HER SAVIOR.

I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE

THERE WAS A LIFE, AND I

WOULD BE OKAY, REGARDLESS OF

WHAT HAPPENED.

AND I BEGAN TO FIND WHO I

WAS IN HIM, AND THAT I WAS

OKAY.

BECAUSE I QUESTIONED MYSELF

SO MUCH OF WHAT WAS WRONG

WITH ME THAT MY HUSBAND

WOULDN'T WANT ME, THAT I WAS

OKAY.

THAT I WAS PERFECT IN WHO

GOD SAID I WAS AND WHO HE

CREATED ME TO BE.

Reporter: MATT ASKED

AMY FOR FORGIVENESS, AND NOW

REAL HEALING COULD BEGIN.

HE WAS BECOMING A

DIFFERENT MAN.

IT WAS BETTER THAN WHEN WE

FIRST GOT MARRIED.

THE HONEYMOON STAGE CAME

MUCH LATER FOR US.

IT CAME AFTER WE GAVE

OURSELVES TO CHRIST.

WE HAD THE INTIMACY WE NEVER

THOUGHT WAS POSSIBLE.

Reporter: TODAY MATT

AND AMY HAVE A MARRIAGE

BASED ON THE FOUNDATION OF

JESUS CHRIST.

WITH CHRIST, OUR MARRIAGE

IS RESTORED.

OUR MARRIAGE IS

STRENTHENED.

OUR MARRIAGE IS JOYFUL.

WITH CHRIST, OUR MARRIAGE

HAS FORGIVENESS, GRACE, AND

A FUTURE.

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