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A Lifetime of Torment Undone in Church

Becky Hutchinson lived a life of both physical and emotional torment from birth until a visit to church changed it all. Read Transcript


I WAS TREATED LIKE AN OUT

CAST, LOCKED IN A ROOM, I

STAYED IN THE DARK FOR TWO AND

A HALF YEARS, YELLING,

SCREAMING, JUST CONSTANT,

TERRORIZING ME.

BECKY KITCHEN SON WAS BORN

INTO THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM,

SHE HAO HAUNTING MEMORIES OF

THE FAMILY THAT TOOK HER IN

WHEN SHE WAS 2.

THE ONLY THING I ATE OFF WAS

LIQUID, BOTTLE, I HAD

MALNUTRITION TOO.

I WAS IN A PLAYPEN-LIKE THING

JUST WHERE I LIVED BY MYSELF.

UNTIL THE AFTERNOON, BECKY'S

FOSTER MOTHER TRIED TO DROWN

HER IN A TUB OF SCOLDING WATER,

SHE SURVIVED AND WAS TAKEN TO

THE HOSPITAL.

I GOT BURNT PRETTY BAD,

AFTER THAT INCIDENT, THEY PUT

ME IN A NEW FOSTER HOME WHICH

WAS WITH THE FAMILY THAT I

ENDED UP STAYING WITH.

THEY SHOWED SO MUCH LOVE, MOMMA

ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED

ME, DAD ALWAYS TOLD ME HE LOVED

ME AND MOMMA ALWAYS SHARED THAT

GOD LOVED ME.

AS SHE GREW OLDER, BECKY

SAYS THE MESSAGE OF GOD'S LOVE

WASN'T THE ONE SHE BELIEVED.

IF EITHER GOD IS LOVE OR I

WOULD HEAR IF YOU'RE BAD, YOU

GO TO HELL, AND I ALREADY FELT

BAD ABOUT MYSELF.

BECKY WAS ALSO TORMENTED BY

BAD NIGHTMARES AND CONSTANT

THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE.

I FELT VERY SUICIDAL, ALWAYS

THINKING ABOUT DEATH.

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, BECKY

JOINED THE NAVY, BY NOW, SHE

HAD DEVELOPED AN INEXPLICABLE

FEAR OF CHURCH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, I

WOULD GET SO STIRRED UP ON THE

INSIDE, MY WHOLE WORLD WOULD GO

CRAZY WHEN I WOULD GET NEAR OR

IN A CHURCH.

ER

BECKY USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

TO ESCAPE YOUR REALITY BUT THE

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BECAME

OVERBEARING, THE NIGHTMARES

MORE REAL.

ON THE INSIDE, I WAS

TERRORIZED JUST BY THOSE

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

WHEN I WROTE THE LETTER TO MY

PARENTS TELLING THEM I LOVED

THEM BUT I COULDN'T LIVE ANY

LONGER AND TOOK A BUNCH OF

PILLS, WENT OUT DRINKING,

BLACKED OUT, ENDED UP IN THE

HOSPITAL.

HER LIFE WAS SPARED THAT DAY

BUT IT WAS THE DEATH OF HER

MOTHER YEARS LATER THAT MADE

HER WANT TO LIVE.

SHE TOOK MY HAND IN THE

HOSPITAL AND SAID I'M GOING TO

BE WITH JESUS NOW.

WHEN SHE TOOK HER FINAL BREATH,

I WAS LIKE, SHE REALLY DOES

HAVE SOMETHING THAT I DON'T

HAVE, THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I

REALLY STARTED TO ACKNOWLEDGE

THAT I NEEDED SOMETHING

DIFFERENT.

SHE TOOK A JOB WORKING AT

DAYCARE TO HELP OUT A FRIEND.

HER HELPER QUIT AND I SAID,

WHERE IS IT AT?

AND SHE SAID AT THE BAPTIST

CHURCH.

I SAID, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO

TO CHURCH.

SHE SAID IT'S IN THE BACK ROOM,

WE HAVE THE KIDS BACK THERE, SO

I TOOK THE JOB AND IT WAS A

BLESSING, AND THE WHOLE TIME,

THEY PLANTED LITTLE SEEDS OF

FAITH IN MY HEART.

SHE WAS ALSO SEEING A

CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR, THAT

FRIENDSHIP LED HER TO THE VERY

PLACE SHE HAD BEEN AVOIDING

MOST OF HER LIFE.

ONCE I STARTED GOING TO

CHURCH IS WHEN I REALLY MET

JESUS.

EVEN WITH FEAR IN MY HEART, I

CAME EVERY SUNDAY, SOMETHING

KEPT DRAWING ME BACK, BRINGING

BACK BACK, BRINGING ME BACK,

AND I HAD TO FIGHT THROUGH THE

FEAR AND I WOULD GO.

THEN ONE EASTER SUNDAY, SHE

WAS MOVED BY THE DEMONSTRATION

OF CHRIST'S LOVE.

AT THE END OF THE SERVICE,

THEY PUT UP A CLIP FROM THE

PASSION OF THE CHRIST AND IT

WAS LIKE I WAS RIGHT THERE, I

WAS IN IT, IT WAS LIKE I WAS

RIGHT THERE AT THE TOMB, I

STOOD UP AND IN THE CHURCH AND

I WAS LIKE, I WANT JESUS, AND I

FELT A CHANGE RIGHT THEN, MY

LIFE CHANGED RIGHT AT THAT

MOMENT THAT I PRAYED THE

SINNER'S PRAYER.

THE NIGHTMARES GONE, NO MORE

THOUGHTS OF ENDING HER LIFE,

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 40 YEARS,

BECKY STARTED TO LOVE HERSELF

AND SHE BELIEVED FINALLY THAT

JESUS LOVED HER TOO.

JESUS ACCEPTS US JUST AS WE

ARE RIGHT THEN, I DIDN'T HAVE

TO DO ANY WORK TO CHANGE BECKY,

JESUS CHANGES ME ON A DAILY

BASIS.

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