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Bring It On-Line: Verbally Abusive Brother

Over the past 30 years, my brother has been verbally abusive to me. We wouldn't speak for months, then I would call to make amends. Two years ago, after his verbal abuse, I stopped speaking to him. In my heart, I have forgiven him although he's ... Read Transcript


LET'S GO, QUESTIONS.

Wendy: VALERIE WRITES

IN, "OVER THE PAST 30 YEARS,

MY BROTHER HAS BEEN VERBALLY

ABUSIVE TO ME.

WE WOULDN'T SPEAK FOR MONTHS

AND THEN I WOULD CALL TO

MAKE AMENDS.

TWO YEARS AGO, AFTER HIS

VERBAL ABUSE, I STOPPED

SPEAKING TO HIM.

IN MY HEART, I HAVE FORGIVEN

HIM, ALTHOUGH HE NEVER ASKED

FOR MY FORGIVENESS, BUT WE

HAVE NOT RECONNECTED BECAUSE

I FEAR IT WILL START AGAIN.

IS IT WRONG TO HAVE SEVERED

TIES WITH HIM?"

Pat: I CAN'T TELL YOU

ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL

RELATIONSHIP LIKE.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS A

SERIOUS PROBLEM.

HE'S GOT THE PROBLEM.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE PROBLEM.

HE NEEDS HELP, BUT HE'S NOT

GOING TO GET IT.

THERE IS NOTHING IN THE

BIBLE THAT SAYS YOU HAVE TO

EXPOSE YOURSELF TO

CONTINUOUS PAIN.

BUT IN YOUR HEART YOU

FORGIVE HIM AND YOU LOVE HIM

AND YOU DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE

AGAINST HIM.

AND YOU PRAY THAT SOMEHOW OR

ANOTHER THE RELATIONSHIP

WILL HEAL AND MAYBE HE'LL

MAKE THE FIRST STEP.

BUT THERE IS NOTHING THAT

SAYS YOU HAVE TO CONTINUALLY

EXPOSE YOURSELF TO ABUSE.

Wendy: I SO AGREE.

I CALL IT LOVING PEOPLE FROM

A DISTANCE.

ANGIE WRITES IN, "DEAR PAT,

I HAVE A HARD TIME DEALING

WITH MY CO-WORKER.

SHE IS A VERY NEGATIVE

PERSON, FOR BEING A CHURCH

GORE.

CHURCH-GOER.

HOW CAN I DEAL WITH HER

NEGATIVITY ON A DAILY

BASIS.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO QUIT

AS I NOT ONLY NEED MY JOB,

BUT LOVE IT."

Pat: LET ME SUGGEST

THIS -- SHE'S A CHURCH GOER,

AND SO SHE STARTS BAD

MOUTHING SOMEBODY.

YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP THAT

REALLY QUICK?

YOU SAY, HONEY, LET'S PRAY

FOR THAT PERSON.

YOU TAKE HER HAND AND SAY,

JESUS, I PRAY -- WE PRAY

TOGETHER.

AND AFTER A WHILE, SHE WON'T

WANT TO SAY ANY OF THOSE

WORDS ANYMORE BECAUSE IT

WILL MEAN IT WILL START A

PRAYER MEETING WITH YOU.

Wendy: DENISE WRITES

IN, "MY SISTER IS PREGNANT

AND LIVES AT MY MOM'S

APARTMENT.

SHE TELLS OUR MOM SHE IS A

TERRIBLE MOTHER BECAUSE OF

OUR CHILDHOOD.

SHE TOLD OUR MOM, IF SHE WAS

ON FIRE SHE WON'T SPIT ON

HER.

I TOLD HER SHE WAS

ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND SHE

BETTER BE CAREFUL.

SHE TOLD ME I WAS A FAKE

CHRISTIAN BECAUSE I DON'T

DEAL WITH MY FAMILY.

AND NOW SHE IS ABOUT TO BE

HOMELESS, AND AM I WRONG FOR

NOT WANTING ANYTHING TO DO

WITH HER BECAUSE SHE HAS NO

RESPECT FOR PEOPLE AND THEIR

HOMES?"

Pat: IN THE OLD

TESTAMENT, SOMEBODY WHO

ABUSED HER PARENT IN THE WAY

THAT GIRL IS, THEY WOULD BE

STONED TO DEATH.

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS KIND OF

HARSH, BUT THAT'S THE WAY

THEY USED TO DO IT IN THE

OLD TESTAMENT.

THE BIBLE SAYS HONOR YOUR

MOTHER AND FATHER.

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER AND

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE FATHER.

AND HOWEVER THEY HAVE

TREATED YOU IN THE PAST,

THEY'RE YOUR PARENTS.

SO THIS SISTER OF YOURS, AND

THIS DAUGHTER, SHE IS

TERRIBLE.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

EXCEPT YOU NEED TO TELL HER,

LOOK, I HONOR OUR MOTHER,

AND I WANT YOU TO DO THE

SAME THING.

AND I'M NOT GOING TO HEAR

ANYTHING ELSE, NOR AM I

GOING TO ALLOW SLANDER OF MY

MOTHER IN YOUR PRESENCE.

I'M JUST NOT GOING TO DO

IT.

SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO

ME, STOP THIS.

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND SEE

WHAT HAPPENS.

Wendy: LINDA WRITES, "I

AM A 68-YEAR-OLD CHRISTIAN

WOMAN.

I GO TO OUR LOCAL YMCA EVERY

MORNING, FIVE DAYS A WEEK.

OVER THE YEARS, FRIENDS HAVE

GONE TO YOGA CLASSES THERE

AND ELSEWHERE, BUT I HAVE

ALWAYS STAYED AWAY FROM

YOGA, THINKING IT MIGHT NOT

BE OF THE LORD.

NOW MY GROWN DAUGHTERS ARE

GOING TO DO YOGA, AND I'M

WONDERING WHAT YOU THINK

ABOUT YOGA.

AND IS IT OKAY FOR

CHRISTIANS TO DO IT?"

Pat: THERE IS A CERTAIN

AMOUNT OF STRETCHING THAT IS

GOOD FOR YOU, AND THE

YOGA-TYPE STRETCHING IS

OKAY.

BUT IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE A

MANTRA WHERE YOU'RE PRAYING

TO HINDDU DEITIES -- YOU

DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED.

BECAUSE THE PEOPLE INVOLVED

ARE PRETTY MUCH INTO HINDU.

EMBED THIS VIDEO

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