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The Heart of a Martyr’s Mother

Beth Nimmo is in studio to discuss the new movie about the 1999 Columbine High School shootings, “I’m Not Ashame,” which highlights the story of her daughter, Rachel Scott. Read Transcript

NARRATOR: On April 20th, 1999 two gunmen murdered 13 people

at Columbine High School.

17-year-old Rachel Scott was one of the victims.

Her strong faith permeated her life, her journals, and even

the books written about her after her death.

Now, her story comes to the big screen.

I'm Not Ashamed opens in theaters October 21st.

Please welcome to today's program

the mother of Rachel Joy Scott, Beth Nimmo.

Beth, it's good to have you here.

Thank you, Terry.

We were talking before the program

about the pain of the loss of a child that

just sort of supersedes almost every other loss you

can imagine in life.

How did you contend with that?

How did you deal with it?

Well, there's just-- there's no formula.

There's no process.

Everybody experiences grief and loss in their own way.

There's no quick fix.

You know, it just takes a long time to get through that.

And thankfully we had some purpose and direction,

and course the Lord that helped us move forward.

But you can still feel that loss today.

You still feel the pain of that today.

I'm sure.

Well, you found some purpose and some direction

from Rachel herself-- even after she was gone.

Because she had been a writer of journals.

And you discovered many of them with really prophetic writings

in them.

Tell us about that?

Well, God was preparing her unknown to me, of course.

But God was having her keep her relationship

with him documented.

And the best way I know to say is he

was having her transcribe something

that was going to come out of that day--

a light, a voice of hope.

And showed how a young person willing and obedient

to follow the Lord, how easily God

can use such a pliable vessel.

We just saw a sketch that I want

to ask them to bring up again, because this

was in one of her journals.

And it is very prophetic.

Talk about this.

Well, she did this drawing of the weeping tears right

before she was shot that very morning.

That morning?

That morning of April the 20th, 1999.

She sat and class and was drawing

this knowing little that in an hour or so of time

that she was going to be a victim of the teardrops.

But she shows a stream of blood coming

from the temple under the weeping eyes.

And there's 13 teardrops.

And Rachel was one of the victims of the 13.

She was the first shot that day.


When you saw the film, because it's been 17 years and a while

since-- I mean, you've tried to bring this all

to fruition over the years.

And today, or this hour was the hour

that God chose to do it-- what was that like for you?

Was it kind of like reliving this whole thing

all over again?

Oh, I had a lot of little emotional meltdowns.

I am sure.

Because it was-- it was hard to see in action.

I didn't witness Rachel getting killed.

You know?

Yes, thankfully.

I didn't have to witness that.

But we needed to show that in the movie.

And we needed to be as accurate as to what had

happened that day as possible.

So there were a couple of days I didn't go to the set.

I didn't watch them shoot it.

And I only saw it after it had been re-enacted.

But even the family scenes-- my hugging her, my touching her--

those are very precious memories and moments.

And they still impact me at a deep level.

Why was it important to you to do this film?

Well, there was so much emphasis

given to the darkness of that day-- what

the boys-- the shooters-- had planned.

How meticulously they had planned this massacre.

And what we found out was God was

paralleling a witness of light to come out of that day.

And I felt it was absolutely important

that people understand even in the midst of darkness,

God's got a plan.

He's preparing some witness of some sort

to arise out and show hope and a light

from a very dark moment in the history of our country.

So to me, it's just a matter of being faithful and obedient.

To pick up that fallen torch that Rachel left

and bring it to a new generation.

These kids don't know Columbine.

What do you want people to come away from the film with?

I'm going to tell you in just minutes where you all

can see the film.

And it's just being released nationwide.

But what do you want people when they see I'm Not

Ashamed to walk away with?

I want them to see what God can do

with a willing heart and obedience.

And I also want them to understand the struggle

that these kids are facing these days to live out their faith

in a very public way.

Sometimes as a believer we mask over that

or we whitewash it a little bit.

And our kids are facing the same struggles

as any young person in America today.

And I wanted to be honest about that.

Because Rachel wrote about that as well,

she just didn't talk about the good things.

She talked about all of the rejection of friends.

She talked about the smoking, the drinking, the relationships

that they're faced with-- being true to your morals

and your foundational beliefs.

I want kids to know that you don't have to be perfect.

That God uses just an obedient and willing heart.

What about parents?

What's the message for parents?

I want them to take away the fact that our kids need us

more than ever.

That we have to be present in their lives.

That they need our influence, they

need our structure, our boundaries,

they need our values.

Because I believe social media is

trying to redefine who we are as individuals.

And kids get caught in that and they get stuck.

And they don't know how to get out of it

because it surrounds them.

You know, social media is so powerful today.

You actually experienced some kickback

from that in just the trailer being shown.

YouTube refused to show it for a while,

and then when they finally did you got some really negative

responses from some people.

What do you make of that?


A lot of that comes from people who don't

believe in God at any level.

You know, they deny that He even exists.

Your faith makes them angry.

It does.

Because we are not, like Rachel said, I'm not ashamed.

We're not apologizing for what she

left with us to tell her story.

So there's automatically repercussions from that--

just from people that think that we are somehow benefiting

from telling the story, which is so far removed from the truth.

Yes, of course.

There's no upside to this, except God get the glory,

and that a lot of lives are touched.

As a woman of faith, was there a point

in the beginning of all of this where you just looked at heaven

and said, God really?

I mean, it can seem and feel so senseless.

And in the midst of a child who was walking righteously,

how did you contend with that?

Well, I did feel anger.

It was kind of a righteous anger.



Because I prayed with my children every day before they

left for school.

We had family prayer.

And I always pleaded the blood of Jesus over my children

before they walked out that door.

So I felt violated that the enemy could even touch them.

Of course you did.

Because I put a protection--

I did it right.


And it wasn't until we saw the purpose God had for my two

children to be in that loop of Columbine

that day that I saw a greater purpose than just my comfort,

my family, me, me, me.

You know, and I had to see the big picture.

And God was faithful to allow that to come to light.

And faithful to his promise that what the enemy means

for evil he will work to good.



It's an amazing story.

I'm sure the film is going to be amazing and well worth seeing.

Thank you for being with us.

Thank you.

And sharing your perspective in your end of all of this.

The movie is called I'm Not Ashamed.

It's rated PG-13.

It opens today nationwide.

So get out and see it and come away with the things

that we discussed here as far as you

and your own family are concerned.


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