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Party Girl Finds Freedom In Love

Shaerica always felt like an outsider, until she found acceptance in the party scene. But living without boundaries took a toll. When her marriage became desperate and suicidal thoughts crept in, she remembered some age-old advice. Read Transcript

SHAERICA WRIGHT: I was the type of kid

that would give you juice.

I would give you my crackers.

I would give you my doll just to be my friend and play with me.

But after you took that and you still didn't want to,

it made me angry.

NARRATOR: Going out, Shaerica Wright

never felt accepted by her classmates or her own father.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: There would be times where he'd say, well,

you know I love you.

But to me, love is an action word.

Your actions don't show that you love me.

They're cold.

NARRATOR: She did her best to earn her father's affection.

But eventually she began believing she

wasn't pretty enough to love.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: I used to always question God,

why did you make me ugly?

You must hate me.

I never felt like I was worthy of anyone loving me.

NARRATOR: In her teens, Shaerica made friends

with a popular girl who taught her

how to dress to get the older boys' attention,

and even invited her to a party.

Finally, she felt accepted.

She never thought her friend would betray her.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: I felt like, I'm fitting in.

I feel loved.

I'm drinking.

I even tried a little drugs.

And after that, I don't remember anything

that happened besides me waking up and knowing

that I had been raped.

The person that's supposed to be your friend,

and she takes what you went through.

She was there.

She let them do it to you.

And she started laughing about it, spreading rumors.

I remember screaming at God saying, OK, nobody loves me.

So why do You want me here?

NARRATOR: As the rumors spread, Shaerica fought back

the only way she knew how.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: It was like, OK, they say I slept with him?

I'm going to do it to make it true.

I didn't know my worth.

I didn't care.

NARRATOR: Then she fell for a boy who told her

she was beautiful.

They had two children by the time she graduated high school,

and married a few years later.

That's when the alcohol took over.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: Kids getting on my nerves?

Get something to drink.

Bills due?

Get something to drink.

NARRATOR: But even alcohol couldn't fix her marriage.

Every day they fought, and every day he seemed to love her less.

And Shaerica felt betrayed again.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: I've been bamboozled.

This is not the love that I'm looking for.

But if I put on this short dress and I go to the club

and I dance all provocative on the dance floor,

the guys are going to tell me, hey, mama, you're fine.

You're sexy.

That's giving me a high.

Somebody's telling me what I want to here.


NARRATOR: She continued drinking and partying,

till the following year when she discovered

she was five months pregnant.

She gave birth to her third daughter

two and a half months early.

The night they brought her home from the hospital,

Shaerica reached her breaking point.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: We had this knock out blow

out fight to the point where we were spitting on each other.

We were kicking each other.

We-- it was awful.

And I'll never forget.

I went in the room, I was crying.

And once again yelling at God.

And I said, OK, You got me.

What do You want?

I was like, you know what?

I don't care if we're together anymore.

You know, I want my baby to live.

But I just don't want to go to hell.

NARRATOR: The next morning she went to church.

She liked the service, but wasn't ready to change.

So for the next year, she continued to party

and attend church.

Then, at one service, she says God spoke to her.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: I was lifting my hands

and trying to get into the song.

And that was the first time I heard His voice.

Is this what you give Me?

At first I thought I was crazy.

I was like, who said that?

I'm looking at the preacher trying to see,

is he talking in the mic?

Talking to me?

And I heard it again.

Is this what you give Me?

And I was like, God, is this You talking to me?

And I felt so much heaviness and conviction all at once.

And I was like, OK, you can't keep doing this

or it's gone to send you to hell for real.

NARRATOR: That same day she stopped partying

and started praying.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: OK, I don't know how to pray,

but somebody told me it's just simply talking to You,

so I'm just going to talk to You.

And I would hear Him speaking back to me.

He was challenging me and telling me

all this time you wanted to know why this and why that.

I have purpose for you.

And whether you want to believe it or not, I love you.

I love you the way you are.

I can change the things that are not great about you,

but it's those things that are not great

that I can use for My glory.

I just was like, He does love me.

And nobody can ever compare to this.

NARRATOR: As she began to see herself through God's eyes,

she was finally able to forgive all those who had hurt her.

And since then, Shaerica has seen

God restore her family, even her relationship with her father.

Today she works full-time as a phlebotomist,

and in her spare time, counsels women who

have survived sexual assault. And she says

it's all thanks to God's love.

SHAERICA WRIGHT: Thou shalt love thyself,

even though that's not really a commandment.

But I'm so big on that, because if you can love yourself

properly, you can truly do what the Bible says,

which is love your neighbor as you love yourself.

You can't give people something you don't have,

so I love myself.

I love everything about me, including my flaws.

I refuse to live in bondage, to unforgiveness.

I am sorry for real.



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