Pastor John Gray says God sees your hidden value and is growing you for better things.
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: John Gray is
the associate pastor
at Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church
in Houston, Texas, the largest
church in the US.
John's talent doesn't
stop at the pulpit.
He's toured with Kirk
Franklin, lead worship
at national conferences,
and entertained thousands
as a stand-up comic.
But growing up,
John was unpopular,
and never imagined he could
do any of those things.
In his book, "I
Am Number 8," John
says everyone has a purpose,
even if they feel forgotten.
His new show, "The
Book of John Gray,"
airs on the OWN Network
on Saturdays at 10:00 p.m.
He hopes viewers will
see how God's love can
help you overcome obstacles
to reach your destiny.
GORDON ROBERTSON:
Well, joining us now
is John Gray, and
thanks for being here.
It's an honor to have you.
JOHN GRAY: I'm
honored to be here.
Thank you.
GORDON ROBERTSON: All right.
Well, tell us your childhood.
You're growing up with a single
mom, and what was that like?
JOHN GRAY: Mom and
Dad divorced when
I was about four and a half,
probably close to five.
My father was not a strong
influence on my life
as far as his presence.
I saw him four times in my life.
But my mother didn't allow
his absence and his addictions
and the choices he made
to stop her from raising
me to know the Lord.
She didn't just talk about
the Bible, she lived it.
She was the example of Jesus
to me and to many others.
She was the church pianist.
This is a woman who was a
woman of prayer every day,
every night,
morning and evening.
And when my father walked
away from our family,
it did not stop her from
going after her goals.
She worked full time during the
day, went to college at night,
ended up graduating
with honors to get
her degree in social work.
Went on to an extremely
successful career
in social work in
the state of Ohio.
And so my mother was
always an overachiever,
but she always gave
credit to the Lord Jesus.
So at 7 years old, I
knew who Jesus was.
At 13, I knew I was
called to ministry.
At 21, I gave my first sermon.
But those markers
were also highlighted
by the places of feeling
undervalued, overlooked,
laughed at.
Kids can be very
cruel when you don't
fit in to the cultural norms.
My mother made it
clear I was going
to be a virgin
when I got married,
and she told me
that very early on.
So I was always made
fun of because I
wasn't sleeping with
the girls, and I
wasn't at the parties drinking.
And there was a
time when I did kind
of resent all of this
investment that my mother was
making into my spirit.
But now I'm so grateful
that she didn't
move from her convictions,
because my mother wasn't
called to be my friend.
She was called to be
the spiritual influence.
And--
GORDON ROBERTSON: Let
me stop you with that.
Why did you feel the resentment?
Because I think a lot of
children raised in the church
share that.
JOHN GRAY: Because you are a
product of the society that you
live in.
And so whether it's culture,
whether it's media, arts,
entertainment, the things
that my mother was espousing
were not things
that were constantly
reinforced on television.
So she was raising me against
the grain of a society that
says there are no limits.
Live how you want, do what
you want, drink what you want,
sleep with who you want.
My mother says, no,
that's not the Word.
And as for me and my house,
we're going to serve the Lord.
This is a woman who
at one point didn't
let me watch football
on Sundays, because they
were working.
And she was like, you got to
have the Sabbath to keep it--
GORDON ROBERTSON: Wow.
JOHN GRAY: --holy.
I'm like, Mom, we're Baptist.
We can watch TV.
We can watch TV.
GORDON ROBERTSON:
But I love that.
JOHN GRAY: Yeah.
GORDON ROBERTSON: Because that
is one of the Commandments.
JOHN GRAY: I know.
My mother made sure that
I understood the standard,
but it wasn't just legalism.
She was committed, because
she had a personal encounter
with Jesus.
And now I look at the life
that I'm living, which
is a supernatural touch of God.
There's nothing in
my background that
says I should be sitting
here across from you.
They asked me earlier
when I was speaking
with one of your staff
members, what do you
think of when you think of CBN?
And I said, legacy.
To know that your
grandfather was a senator,
and then your
father started this,
and now you are
here in this seat.
Me, I have a son
and a daughter now.
And where my father
didn't leave me
a legacy of a good husband and
a father, I can now begin that.
Even though I
didn't start there,
I can begin something new.
And so that was
instilled by a woman who
wouldn't stop praying for
me, and that's what to me,
my life represents.
The power of a praying parent
who would not let it go.
GORDON ROBERTSON: What
would you say to somebody
that is in that same position?
That they were
raised in the church,
they felt called to ministry,
but they had that resentment.
You know, I'm not able to
participate in the culture.
I'm not able to celebrate
Halloween or whatever.
JOHN GRAY: Yeah.
GORDON ROBERTSON: And
what would you say
to them to fulfill that call?
JOHN GRAY: I think
this is what I learned.
God wasn't keeping
me from things,
He was keeping me for a thing.
And I think what
the church needs
to do is stop apologizing
for the Anointing.
And many times, we
offer alternatives,
because we don't
lift up the value
of having a godly heritage.
We are fighting
against culture when
I believe the church should
be the epicenter of faith
and culture and family life.
The first church in Acts had all
things common and distributed
to each one as they had need,
and the church grew daily.
And so there was an aspect of
not just the spiritual side,
but the interaction
of one to the other.
Building families together.
We didn't have that
sense of community,
and so when you're living in a
culture that doesn't celebrate
your value system, of course
resentment is going to rise up.
But if you surround yourself
with like-minded believers--
and I'm not saying
to shut off society.
That's not what Jesus
ever wanted us to do.
GORDON ROBERTSON:
No, that's not--
JOHN GRAY: But I
do believe this.
Yeah, what I believe
is that we are called
to be influencers of culture.
But if you're young like
I was, I said this to God.
I said, Lord, I'm
really frustrated
because I don't want to be like
the preachers that I've seen.
They seem to say one
thing and live another.
I want to be me.
I want to laugh.
I want to joke.
I want to do all
these other things.
Can I be that?
And He said, that's why I called
you, to be authentically you.
See, when God saves
you, He saves your soul,
but He sanctifies
your personality.
I don't become someone
else because I'm saved.
He enhances who I
am, so my salvation
unlocks the other parts
of my personality.
So my laughter and my
singing and all of that
is now filtered through
the Holy Spirit.
And that's what I had to learn.
So being overlooked
and marginalized
and being anonymous
and made fun of
were actually the foundation
for where I am now as a man.
And so the idea of the
book, "I'm Number 8"
or even the TV show is that
God can take somebody that's
really normal and do something
supernatural if you stay
submitted.
GORDON ROBERTSON: Yes, yes.
Amen.
Hearty amen.
You have a chapter in the
book called, "Dear Dad."
Is that to your dad?
JOHN GRAY: Yeah.
It's a play on words,
because the Bible
says we cry out with the spirit
of adoption, "Abba Father."
But also "Dear Dad" in
the sense that my father,
even though I did not have a
deep relationship with him.
I still honor him.
Because that's the first
command with a promise.
And if it wasn't for
him, I wouldn't be here.
And God intended for him
to be my earthly father.
And so, to me, at
the end of his life--
I was there the
day that he passed.
And I told him when
he was in a coma,
I said I'm going to make
your name good in the earth.
I'm going to bring value
to the name John Gray.
And I prayed over him and I told
him you can accept Christ even
in your--
they said that he could hear me.
And so I went through
that whole thing.
And by the time I
got back home, they
called and said he had passed.
But I told him I forgave
him for not being there.
I told him that I was
grateful that he married
my mother, that he honored her.
And so I don't live
with the regret
of bitterness of unforgiveness.
So that letter is
saying, you know
what, I know he
can't read it, But it
was for me cathartic to say that
this person who I didn't have
a relationship with,
whose name I carry,
now that name has
a legacy attached
and it's a godly heritage.
GORDON ROBERTSON: Right.
And I just want to honor that
intent to leave that legacy.
JOHN GRAY: Yes, sir.
GORDON ROBERTSON: That
you're going to break
the curse, if you will.
And now that name is
going to be famous,
and it's going to be
famous through you
and through your children and
through your grandchildren.
JOHN GRAY: Yes, sir.
GORDON ROBERTSON:
And that is biblical.
JOHN GRAY: Don't make me
cry, because that's exactly--
GORDON ROBERTSON:
That is biblical.
JOHN GRAY: That's exactly what
I want to leave is a legacy.
I don't want to be
known for TV or books.
Those things are nice.
I don't want to be
known just because I'm
on Oprah Winfrey's network.
I want to be known as a
man who loved his wife,
and who raised his kids right.
And I'm going to preach
an uncompromising gospel.
And if people want watered
down, they won't get it here.
I'm going to preach
Christ and him crucified
until there's no breath left.
GORDON ROBERTSON:
A righteous man
leaves a legacy,
leaves an inheritance--
JOHN GRAY: For his children.
GORDON ROBERTSON: --for
his children's children.
JOHN GRAY: Yes, sir.
GORDON ROBERTSON: All right.
We can talk a long time,
but we've got a book.
"I Am Number 8."
It's available wherever
books are sold.
And you can check out John's TV
show, "The Book of John Gray"
Saturday nights 10:00 p.m.
Eastern Time on the OWN channel.
And, John, thank you.
JOHN GRAY: Thank you so much.
GORDON ROBERTSON: Thank
you for your life.
JOHN GRAY: Thank you.
GORDON ROBERTSON: I love it.