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Bring It On-Line: - May 23, 2017

I AM TEMPTED TO GO ON A CHRISTIAN DATING SITE TO MEET SOMEONE. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE ME? DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE ON HOW MUCH LONGER I SHOULD WAIT FOR HER TO CHANGE? Read Transcript


Do you want to answer some email questions?

All right let's answer some emails.

OK.

We're going to bring it on, starting

with Julie, who says this, Pat.

I am a 69-year-old widow who has been alone

for almost six years now.

I have a growing desire to meet a widower

around my age who has a strong relationship with the Lord.

I do not know one man who fits that category.

And I'm tempted to go on a Christian dating site

to meet someone.

What advice would you give me?

Do you think I'm showing a lack of trust

in God to bring someone to me if that's his will?

Thank you.

Oh.

You know, you don't show a lack of trust

in God when you go to a grocery store

and the shelves are stocked with groceries that you would like.

Because that's where they are.

That's where you go to shop.

Well, if the Christian dating sites,

you've got Christians who you want,

you can obviously turn them down.

But you at least have a choice.

Like, you know, do you want pasta?

Do you want, you know, something else?

So you can find the kind of person.

And I see nothing in the world wrong with that at all.

OK, this is Cathy, who says, when I was about 8,

my mom married my first step dad.

Around nine, he started abusing me and my younger siblings.

He favored my older sister.

So she was safe from the beatings.

It got to the point that if we made my older sister

cry he came at us with a belt. The beatings

were so bad he came close to bringing blood.

That's been almost 30 years now.

I still hold a lot of resentment toward my sister

for all of the beatings.

And she refuses to accept her responsibility in it.

All she says is the adults are at fault.

And don't blame her for it.

Is it really too much to ask for her to apologize for it?

How do I get past it?

I've forgiven him.

And he's been dead for 23 years now.

Oh, well, that resentment isn't hurting your sister.

It's hurting you.

And you know, if you have ought against any,

the Bible says it so clear.

When you're looking for miracles,

you're stand praying-- and remember,

you have ought against any, forgive as your Heavenly

Father may forgive you.

The whole concept of being born again

and getting into the power of God

depends on your forgiveness of others.

And so cleanse it up and forgive her.

You know, she probably as a little kid

didn't know what she was doing.

The fact that she didn't get beat up and you did,

she's right.

It's the adults that did the beat.

She didn't beat you.

The step father did.

So forgive her.

I mean, even if she's at fault, forgive her.

I mean, what do you got to lose?

All right.

OK, this is Nick who says, I'm 35 years old

and my fiance and I are having my first child in two weeks.

We've been together for a year.

We're both Christians.

But we started having sex pretty soon into our relationship.

I've asked her to marry me.

But she struggles with huge trust issues.

She accuses me of cheating because

of all the past men in her life that have been unfaithful.

I would never do that.

She won't go to counseling to deal with her past baggage.

I've stepped up to the plate and filled the role of father

to her older child from another relationship,

yet she still won't trust me.

Do you have any advice on how much longer I

should wait for her to change?

And should we still get married?

You know, what's my advice?

Get out of this deal as fast as you can.

Why would you take on damaged goods?

She is damaged.

She's got a psychological problem.

And you're not a psychologist.

Why would you want to fix it?

You know, we always think we can fix somebody.

Well, Life just get married to them.

And I'll fix them.

No, you won't.

And all it'll be is more pain, more heartache,

and more suffering.

You shouldn't have gotten into the relationship you're in.

You're doing something wrong.

It's called fornication.

And it's wrong.

But assuming you're doing it, now you've got a child.

And she's pregnant.

So you want to take on that responsibility, of course.

But at the same time, to get married in those circumstances

to somebody that she obviously was having multiple affairs,

multiple men walked out on her.

And you want to be one of those multiples.

And why put yourself in that position?

You don't have to.

You're free, so stay free.

But you've got a little kid coming on.

He's your responsibility.

Look after that child.

You might be able to adopt that child.

A lot of things you can do, but to get married to this lady--

break off the relationship now, all right?

OK this is Jeff, who says, Pat, I

want to marry my sweetheart.

We're both born again Christians.

But she doesn't know if biblically she's

allowed to remarry.

Her porn-addicted and alcoholic husband divorced her.

But she cannot prove adultery.

Is she free to marry?

Oh, I think so.

He broke the marriage.

And the whole idea is he broke the marriage there, vow.

And you know, they're divorced.

And he walked out on her.

I think she's free to get married.

And you asked my opinion.

That's my opinion, that it will be

a very wholesome relationship.

I wouldn't let guilt of that just because you

quote can't prove adultery.

You know, this business of what Jesus said about marriages

has led to a lot of complications.

And I think the Church needs to speak definitively on this.

And we really haven't as much as we should have.

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