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Dropping Truth On a Life Defined by Lies

Alone, angry, and hurt by his step-father's constant insults, Dermon felt like God wasn't there. He turned to drugs to numb the pain, but knew there was only one place he could find the love he wanted. Read Transcript


NARRATOR: As a young boy, Durman Walker

couldn't help but believe the things

his stepfather, an alcoholic and drug addict, said about him.

I was fat, I was dumb, that I wasn't wanted,

that I wasn't a gift from God, or that my family didn't

want me.

NARRATOR: What made it worse was his mother,

a regular churchgoer, never took up for her son.

I guess I was very mad and very angry

and I was very alone.

I even felt the connection with my mother,

I felt that that was gone.

I felt like the only person I had was myself.

NARRATOR: Hoping for some word of praise or encouragement,

Durman worked hard to earn good grades.

But they never came.

And at times, I even felt like God wasn't there.

So I was this young kid, you know,

feeling alone and feeling like no one in the world loved me.

NARRATOR: As Durman got older, he

stood up for himself, which led to arguments fueled by hate

and anger.

He was 16 when, after another fight,

his stepfather kicked him out of the house

and he went to live with his older brother.

And also started hanging out with the crowd

who liked to drink.

I literally drank anything that I could get my hands on.

I mixed clear liquors with dark liquors.

I didn't care what it was, as long as it got me out

of a depressive state of mind or made me feel happy and cheery.

As long as it can help me get through this night or this day,

I was drinking.

NARRATOR: Slowly, Durman became just like his stepfather.

An angry, bitter alcoholic who verbally abused and threatened

those around him.

Durman came to hate himself, at times cutting his arms

or hitting his head against a wall.

No matter where I went, the pain was following me,

the pain was with me.

So I felt that if I hurt myself in some kind of way,

that I'm in control of that pain, that I caused that.

NARRATOR: Also that year, Durman was

in a minor car accident that left him

with some bumps and bruises.

He was prescribed painkillers that he soon

found did more than take the edge off his injuries.

Once I realized that, hey, these little pills can give me

a greater high than drinking alcohol or anything

could and it actually helps me cope.

NARRATOR: After two years of abusing alcohol

and painkillers, Durman, now 18, decided

to down a handful of pills.

And I remember as I laid down I

began to hear my heart beat really loud

and everything seemed like it was going on in slow motion.

So I felt that I was dying.

Inside, I was trying to scream and I heard

my heart beating really slow.

And I said, Lord, please, if you save me tonight,

I will never do this again.

Lord, just please save me.

And all I remember is I blacked out.

And the next morning I woke up and I just said, thank you,

God, for saving me.

I will never do this again.

NARRATOR: With a glimmer of hope Durman

stopped using painkillers as promised and even

enrolled in college.

But he still needed alcohol to cope with the anger

and bitterness that he desperately

wanted to be free of.

I wanted to change more than anything in the world.

I wanted to be someone else more than anything in the world.

I didn't want to carry all that with me.

I didn't want to have that hatred.

NARRATOR: Having tried everything,

Durman accepted a friend's invitation to church.

I use alcohol, I use prescription medications,

I use hate, I use bitterness, I use everything.

And I thought to myself, why am I trying to fix it?

Why not use this Jesus that everyone

is saying that can fix the problems, that

can turn everything around?

Why not try him?

I was thinking, Lord, you're going

to have to take this from me.

You're going to have to help me.

NARRATOR: At the end of the service,

Durman prayed with the pastor and asked Jesus Christ

to come into his heart.

I felt relieved, I felt new, I felt the weights were gone,

I felt that I was a new person.

I didn't feel that heavy burden of hatred anymore.

I didn't feel it.

And I was amazed.

I just praised God.

I cried out to Jesus.

I said, thank you, Lord, for my deliverance.

Thank you for my healing.

NARRATOR: As Durman studied the Bible and prayed

he began to understand God's love for him.

He made me feel that I was his child, that he was my father.

He told me that I was the apple of his eye.

He validated me in ways that no one else could.

NARRATOR: Today Durman is married to Sabrina

and they have a son.

Together they have a life in Christ

that looks nothing like Durman's past.

Jesus set me free.

He took all of my brokenness and he made it into something.

I was shattered and he put me together, he molded me,

he shaped me, he made me into a new creation.

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