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Brought Together through Brokenness

Abused and desperate for love, Brian and Heather lived in constant fear of their fathers. Their brokenness brought them together and twenty years later, they were made whole. Read Transcript


[MUSIC PLAYING]

BUBBA: I was done.

The words hurt enough.

Didn't want to be around anymore.

Didn't want to hurt anymore.

I was not good enough just to be his.

HEATHER: You would have never known I was dying inside.

That was, like, I'm the filthiest

thing you've ever seen.

And I thought, you're on your own, Heather.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BUBBA: My dad had a business in town.

And we needed to look a part of this happy-go-lucky family,

church on Sundays.

But in all reality, I lived with a lot of fear.

[DOOR CREAKING]

He wasn't, like, lurking around the corner like a big monster.

But it felt like that.

My dad would write nasty notes and leave them

all over the place and would going to church

and profess his love for God and Jesus.

I just came to accept the fact that I

was what my dad said I was.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

It was like, hey, dad, how did I do?

You did all right.

But if you would have done this, this, this, and this,

it would've been so much better.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I couldn't deal with all the pain

that I had of just wanting my dad to love me.

I just wanted that relationship, not because of anything

that I did, but because I was just his son.

If my own father wouldn't love me, couldn't love me,

maybe didn't know how to love me, how could anybody else?

HEATHER: My dad never wanted children.

My mom was very broken.

I was very worried about keeping them happy.

How can I make this be OK?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I can remember laying beside my dad and him touching me.

And it hurt.

I remember almost gasping, like, huh.

And then I just went away.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was filthy.

And I felt so, like, heavy.

It wasn't that I wanted to hurt.

That's the only relationship I had with my dad.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

The lady was talking about who Jesus

was, that he was willing to trade

us all of his good stuff for all of our bad stuff.

And I was like, oh, my gosh, I totally want to do that.

If he's willing to do that, I want to do that.

And I just remember bowing my head and just going,

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I felt this whoosh over me all the way out my fingers

and down my legs.

And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm floating!

I had never felt like this before.

I felt light.

I was a little bit nervous to tell my mom.

But I was like, this is really good.

Maybe she doesn't know about this.

And she said, ah, Heather, you can't

do what you have to do it to be a Christian.

You could never lie again.

And she just went on talking.

And I just quit listening.

I thought, wow, OK, well, if I'm going to fail,

I'm just not even going to try.

I didn't know Jesus loved me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I could get a guy to do anything I wanted

him to do if I brushed up against him, if I showed enough

cleavage, if I wore a short enough skirt.

I just thought, this is how you do it.

You have sex with someone.

And then they'll love you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BUBBA: She said that I had kind of a cute smile

and then ended up having a two or three hour conversation.

We dated for two years.

HEATHER: He was different.

He's like, I just love you.

I'm like, I didn't know how to love anybody.

I didn't know what it looked like.

But at that point, I just thought, well,

if he's not going anywhere, I might as well do this.

[MUSIC PLAYING]|

When she started talking to me about Jesus loving me,

I was like, what do you mean he loves me?

I don't even know what that means.

So she started to explain to me.

And I would be like, well, I've had sex with more than 30 men.

And she'd go, it doesn't matter.

He still loves you.

And I'm like, she didn't even bat an eyelash.

And I thought, oh, my gosh, man this is real.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BUBBA: I remember what it looked like with my dad.

It was like I didn't want any part of that.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was so hungry for that male affirmation

that I met with these guys as a 21-year-old at 5:30

in the mornings on Wednesdays and 6:30

in the morning on Sundays.

Because they would say things to me like, how are you doing?

You got what it takes, man.

You can do this.

They weren't impressed by my performance.

They weren't impressed by the things that I could do.

What impressed them was I was just me.

And they loved me just for me.

I wanted what they had.

And what they had was a relationship with Jesus.

And I said, Jesus, I've tried everything else.

I need you.

I'm going to give you a shot--

bam, peace.

Jesus just loved me for me.

It was then that I realized I am his son.

And I'm good enough just the way I am.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HEATHER: I'd said to him, where were you

when I was being raped?

Where were you at?

And he showed me.

I could see myself.

And I looked over.

And he was on the floor on his knees

with his hands clasped crying with me.

I was like, OK.

So people have been teaching me all these things.

I've been reading scripture, how God created the universe.

And he healed all these people.

And he did all these amazing things.

So why not a little girl in the middle of Iowa?

Why couldn't you take care of her?

[GIRL SCREAMING]

And I started screaming at him, You're

a stupid, horrible father!

I'm just, like, railing on Him, just-- ugh.

But that moment was where I totally

was so real with Him, that from then on, it

was like, OK, all right.

I can get to know You now.

The Lord was so sweet and gentle with me, gently

teaching me to trust Him, gently teaching

us what love even looked like.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I always wanted a man to love me.

I just wanted to be mama.

He gifted us all of that.

So I'm like, my gosh, I have everything

I've ever dreamed of.

[KIDS LAUGHING]

BUBBA: I wasn't good enough.

I was lazy.

I was stupid.

I wasn't going to amount to anything.

And God says, no, you are good enough.

Just wait and watch what I'm going do with you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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