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Your Questions, Honest Answers: - October 5, 2017

AM I FREE TO REMARRY? CAN I GIVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER? WOULD GOD APPROVE OF ME IGNORING HIM? HOW IS IT THAT GOD LOVES US THE WAY WE ARE BUT JUDGES OUR SINS? Read Transcript


Well, welcome back.

It's time for your questions and some honest answers.

And Pat, this first one comes from Diane who says,

"My husband left me after 30 years of marriage.

He wanted to be by himself and do what he wanted.

He stopped going to church.

It has now been six years, and I have tried everything

I know to win him back.

He puts forth no effort to come back,

but thinks I should still have sex with him.

I have gone along with his thinking,

but he doesn't seem to want anything else.

We are divorced.

I'm tired of this.

And I free to remarry?

We both were raised in conservative Christian homes."

Well, you know, the [INAUDIBLE] privileges is

something that I mentioned quite at few times.

Paul said, "if the unbelieving spouse is pleased to depart,

let him depart.

The brother or sister is not bound to that case."

And I think if your husband has departed, but you're--

he hasn't really severed the tie and you're still

having sex with him.

So you're still joining together in some kind of union.

And I think, before somebody could

say that that union is irrevocably broken,

you're the one that needs to break it off.

If you continue to have sex with him,

then you will continue to be one flesh.

You're joined together.

And what God has joined together,

let not man pull asunder.

So if he has abandoned you, he's walked out and left you, then,

of course, you're free to go get married again.

That's what the Bible says.

OK.

This is Maria, who says "Pat, I have

a 55-year-old single brother who lives 2 blocks

from my 84-year-old mother and me.

Our father died 5 years ago, and my brother

have never once helped me and my sister with my mom's needs.

Our mother and I helped raise my brother's daughter,

and ever since she grew up, he has ignored us.

My son had his graduation party this summer.

My brother never came or sent a card.

He instead went drinking and golfing with his friends.

"My question is, when I see my brother at his daughter's

house, as a Christian, do I have to look him in the eye

and say, hi, and give him a hug like nothing has happened

or can I give him the cold shoulder?

Would God approve of me ignoring him?"

I think what God would like best is if you would go to him

and say, listen, I have ought against you,

and here's what it is.

You have ignored us.

You have not participated.

You are not helping us support our [INAUDIBLE] parents.

And you don't show up at you nephew's graduation,

or whatever.

I think talk to him about those things.

That's what you ought to do.

Don't just give him a cold shoulder.

He won't know what's going on.

And don't expect him to be a mind reader.

So I think the best thing you can do is to confront him.

That's what the Bible says.

You confront him and lay it out.

And if he won't receive you under those circumstances,

you might bring somebody, you know,

to have a witness along with it.

And then, you can treat him like an infidel if you want to.

But up to that point, you don't do it.

OK, this is Cindy, who says "God says He loves us the way

we are, but once we go to heaven,

we're judged for what we've done on earth.

How is it that God loves us the way we are but judges our sins?

When someone loves you, they're supposed

to love who you are no matter what."

Well, I think you're making up all this stuff.

I don't know that the Bible says that God loves us the way we.

He loves us in spite of the way we are.

I don't know where that is in the Bible.

Do you?

No, I don't.

I've Never seen that.

I'm sure people preach that way and they say,

well, God loves us the way you are.

Well, yes and no.

But look, the Bible says, we will give account

for what we do in the body.

And it's not that God doesn't love you,

it's that this is the way he's ordered the world.

And we'll all stand before the [INAUDIBLE] now, we will not

go into the final judgment.

You believe in God and trust his word,

believe on the Son of God, you have everlasting life.

You're passed from death into life.

But in terms of what you are doing, day by day by day,

there is a reward and there is a punishment.

I would hope, in fairness, God would

give to people who worked hard in his vineyard for 20

or 30 years.

He'd give them a break.

He doesn't have to, but it'd be nice if he did.

And that's sort of what the Bible says

that there's going to be a scorecard of the way

you've lived.

That doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

But the idea that He loves us just the way we are,

that is not-- nothing in the Bible says that--

He loves us, for God so loved the world

that He gave his only blood and son

that whosoever believes in Him should not perish.

He loves us.

He loves us.

But at the same time, he doesn't condone

the sin we're engaged in.

All right?

OK.

This is Denise, who says, "My daughter has been going

to a church for years that teaches that you cannot remarry

after divorce.

Her husband doesn't believe the Bible

and tells his three children the Bible is a book of lies.

He frequently screams and calls his 3 kids idiots

and curses his own wife, using the Lord's name in vain.

She says she feels like she's living in hell.

But according to her church, she can leave, but never remarry.

Is that what the Bible says?"

No, the Bible doesn't quite say it that way.

The Bible does indicate that if you remarry,

without appropriate grounds, is says

you're committing adultery.

But in that case--

you know, I think this is what would be considered

constructive desertion.

I think if an unbeliever is deserting, you're not bound.

And I think that's constructive.

That husband is making it so difficult you

can't live with him.

And he's-- but the idea--

the church is not telling it quite the way the Bible says.

This is Sandra, who says, "Our church was

asked by our denomination to make packages

to be sent to the areas affected by the hurricanes this fall.

They insisted that the packages have no mention of Jesus

or even that they were supplied by a Christian organization.

How are we to respond to this?"

I think I'd make my package just someplace else.

You know, there was something called the Christian Children's

Fund.

Do you remember that?

I do remember that.

And they changed it to Child Fund.

And it just grated on me something terrible.

I don't know whether their contributions went down.

They should've.

But I think the idea--

you know, we at Christian Broadcasting Network

are unashamedly Christian.

At Regent University we are unashamedly Christian.

And I think we need to be unashamedly Christian.

And the idea that you have--

you don't put anything on a package about Jesus,

that's wrong.

You're denying the Lord.

And that church is--

and if you'll excuse my saying so is sinning against God.

Well, no, because he says that when

we let our light shine in the world, then the world sees Him

So we're supposed to.

Well, you're supposed to do it.

Of course you are.

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