Susan grew up in an emotionally abusive family, and she looked for acceptance through relationships. Even when she gave up on God, she continued to hear his voice
- [Narrator] Susan Burnham grew up in
an emotionally abusive family.
Her father was an alcoholic
who was in constant conflict with Susan,
her mom, and her sisters.
- [Susan] It was justconstant, just sorrow,
and just hurtful things, and just
rejection from every which way.
It was almost like walking on eggshells
'cause you never knew
what you were gonna get.
- She began looking for love
and acceptance throughsexual relationships.
She had her first abortion
when she was only fourteen.
- I was yearning for love so much
that I looked for anybody.
I'm looking for all these people to just
fill these voids.
- In her early 20s, she went to church,
where she felt the love of God
but Susan says she had ahard time receiving it.
- I had this, this wonderful, awesome
feeling of love
and I just kind of like
in the back of my mind
said it's not going to last long.
He doesn't, he doesn't love me.
- She quit going to church.
Meanwhile, chaos and abuse followed her
from one relationship to another
and eventually into marriage.
She endured years of emotional
and physical abuse atthe hands of her husband.
- I would get beat up forcatching him cheating.
He would cheat on me andwe would argue about it
but I would get beat up for it
because I was snooping.
She used marijuana and alcohol
to cope with the chaos in her home.
It was nothing for me to come home
and, just, open up a bottle and just
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
It masked everything.
- When she finally left her husband,
he attacked her and tried to kill her.
- I ended up going to the emergency room.
I had bruised kidneys and
I still have a scar onthe left side of my face.
It's an indentation fromwhere my face was smashed.
- After a lifetime ofdisappointment and heartbreak,
Susan decided to commit suicide.
- You know, everything just piled on me
at one time.
You know, just the feelings of just ew.
Like, look at you.
Look at who you've become.
This it it.
I am done.
I am done with this.
I don't want this anymore.
I had planned to get drunk
and just take these pills and go.
I was over it.
- She drank vodka and passed out before
she could take the lethal dose of pills.
The next day, Susan woke up sick
and ready for a change.
- When I was throwing up, I remember just
even doing that I was like
I cannot do this anymore.
I looked up to God and said,
Okay, you want to help me?
Now is your opportunity.
Do it then.
Take all this from me.
I don't want this anymore.
You want it?
Here, take it!
Let me see what you're working with.
Let me see if you really love me.
- That morning, Godproved His love for her,
immediately setting her free from drug
and alcohol addiction.
- When he took all that,
and he took it away from me
and the desires were just gone,
like, I mean they were gone.
I never wanted a drink.
I never wanted to take alcohol.
I never wanted to smoke marijuana
- Susan says everything changed
when she gave her life to Christ.
- Once I truly surrendered everything
and allowed Him to take control
that's when I started to see myself
through His eyes
and how I'm fearfully and wonderfully made
in His image.
These are happy tears.
I'm just thanking God right now
that He just delivered me from all that.
That was just the worst.
Oh my God!
- She went back to school and earned
a degree in counseling.
She says her life is an example
of how the love of God
can set anybody free.
- My purpose is for His glory.
To help others
so that someone else can see
that, wow, she made it through
all of this and yet she's still
willing to reach back and
pull others up.
- Susan forgave her ex-husband
and others who hurt her.
She now knows the love of God was always
there for her.
She only needed to receive it.
- I can't love anybodyelse without loving me
and without accepting love from God.
And if He doesn't everdo anything else for me
'Cause He's done enough.
Yeah, He's done enough.