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Grab for Control Leads to Chaos

After a car accident left her father in a wheelchair, Jennifer fought for control over her life until addiction took her in a different direction. Read Transcript

- He was the leader of our family,

he was 6'5", 250 pounds, strong,

could pick all three ofus up at the same time,

and he went from that to gone.

- [Narrator] The news hadbeen staggering for Jennifer.

The 16-year-old has justcome from a missions trip

only to find her dad in a wheelchair,

the victim of a car accident

that would leave him paralyzed for life.

- I felt numb, I avoidedthe hospital at all cost.

I felt like if I justdon't deal with this,

maybe it's not happening.

- [Narrator] The triphad inspired Jennifer

to go into the missions field.

Now, she questioned everything

she believed about a loving God.

- I thought, really?

If this is what you'regonna give your children

who love you and who aretrying to do good for you,

then I don't want anything to do with you.

- [Narrator] Jennifer's motherstarted drinking heavily,

leaving her three daughters to find ways

to cope on their own.

- She wasn't there for us.

She was a nervous, worrisome,anxiety-driven wreck.

As for Jennifer, she stoppedgoing to church altogether

and took to drinking with friends,

but she poured most of hertime and energy into school.

- So that became my focus, itwas a perfectionism-driven,

I'm gonna succeed and achieve now.

- [Narrator] Her efforts gother a scholarship to Rutgers,

where she continued to succeed.

Then just before graduation,her parents divorced,

and she went to live withand care for her dad.

She graduated, but her occasional drinking

became a regular ritual.

- I didn't wanna feel pain, Ididn't wanna cry over my dad,

I didn't wanna cry over my family,

I didn't wanna feelthat loss and that pain,

so I just covered it up.

- [Narrator] Then heryounger sister moved in

just off a stint in drug rehab.

Unwilling to give up her habit,

she dragged Jennifer downinto her world of addiction.

- She quickly convincedme to start sneaking

into my dad's room at night

and taking his syntheticheroin, Oxycontin.

- [Narrator] Jenniferstarting shooting up heroin

and eventually meth.

- It makes you feel likeit's the missing link,

like it's the piece to your puzzle

that you've been searchingfor your whole life.

It is so overwhelming and strong,

and nothing compares tothat feeling, that rush.

- [Narrator] For six years,Jennifer moved around

going from job to job,having run-ins with the law,

and fighting addiction.

- I was running from God.

Little pieces of me started to fade away,

and I became completely numb,

desensitized to anything going on around.

- [Narrator] During that time,

she made several attempts to rehab.

- So there would be momentswhen I would kind of snap out

and be like this is notwhat I want for my life.

I did have a desire toget married and be a mom

and have my own family some day.

- [Narrator] While Jenniferwas willing to go into rehab,

she dismissed any notionof asking God for help.

- Why didn't I think Jesus would fix me

at any point in my using years?

Because I didn't think he was good,

I didn't think he loved me enough

to pick up the broken piecesand put me back together.

I was broken, and I didn'tthink he could make me whole.

- [Narrator] At 26 years old,addicted and out of work,

Jennifer had run out of options.

- Really hit another bottom, a low low,

tired of life,

tired of using,

tired of not having money,tired of being in a fog,

tired of not feeling wellphysically, tired of being scared.

- [Narrator] A year earlierat her older sister's wedding,

one of Jennifer's aunts told her

about a healing ministry in Georgia.

At the time, Jenniferdidn't give it much thought.

Now, it seemed like her only hope.

- When I got there, I had skulls,

skulls on my shirt, skullrings, black died hair.

I remember someoneapproaching me and saying,

"That's the spirit of death

"that you're wearing all over yourself."

I sat in on that first session

and felt the Holy Spirit forthe first time in a long time

and God saying, "You're time is up.

"It's you and me now, and I've missed you,

"and you're my daughter,and I want you back."

- [Narrator] For a week, Jennifer learned

about God's love and power.

She filled her notebook with teaching

that transformed her life.

- I broke down and I sobbed sohard, uncontrollably sobbing,

and the ladies came around and laid hands

and hugged me and comforted me,

and I honestly feel like I had demons

from all of my drub abuse

and that they werereleased in that prayer.

- Jennifer recommitted her life to Christ,

was baptized, and completelydelivered from drugs.

She returned home to New Jersey

to serve time for a previous drug charge.

In jail for three months,she learned more about God.

That's when I fell inlove with Jesus again.

It started in Georgia, but in jail,

locked up, nothing else todo, confined, I felt free.

I felt like life was gonna start.

When I got out, the world was my oyster,

like let's go, I'm back.

- [Narrator] Once out of jail,

Jennifer moved to Florida with her mother,

and within three months,met her husband Jason.

On her wedding day, herdad was by her side,

giving her away.

Today, she is the motherof two happy girls.

- When I look in the mirror,I think of God's faithfulness.

I was trying to fill the hole in my heart

and the broken piecesfrom life with the world.

But only the Father, Son, andHoly Spirit can fill that.

So, he filled that in me,

and I find refuge in that and comfort,

and I'm full.

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