David and Pamela Mann will discuss their secrets of love, marriage and family and how their faith and love of music led them into a life of singing and acting.
- She was his new best friend.
- [Gordon] Her husbandstarted seeing another woman.
- And it was happening under our roof
while I was in the next bedroom.
- [Gordon] So she startedsearching online for another man.
- It was like being akid in a candy store.
- See how this woman receivesa super natural do over.
Plus meet the Manns, the actingand gospel singing couple,
David and Tamala Mann,share their secrets to love,
marriage, and family.
All that and more on today's700 Club Interactive.
Welcome to the show.
Voters in Alabama have approveda Constitutional amendment
that allows the displayof the Ten Commandments
in public schools andgovernment buildings.
Supporters say itencourages schools and towns
to display the Ten Commandmentsand sends a message
that Alabama wants to acknowledge God,
the God of The Old and NewTestament, the Christian God.
- Evangelist, FranklinGraham, praised Alabama voters
for the amendment on Facebook, saying:
"It is so important to voteand let the Christian voice
"be heard in the ballot box.
"In a time when secularismis attempting to remove God
"from everything in thepublic realm, this is major.
"As Christians, we need tokeep praying, work boldly,
"and stand firmly on the Solid Rock.
"The Ten Commandments define God's laws
"and were the foundation of man's laws.
"I hope more states willfollow Alabama's example."
- I hope, too, as well, thatmore states would follow that,
but the problem is, until youamend the US Constitution,
I don't see that thisis really going to work.
I see lawsuits comingAlabama's way as soon
as Ten Commandmentdisplays start appearing
in schools and at court houses.
This is all what JudgeRoy Moore went through
and we all need to bereminded, he lost those cases.
That doesn't mean we stop.
Here's something that Ithink is very significant.
Modern psychology isfinding that when you read
the Ten Commandments, it actuallymakes you a better person.
- If you don't believe me onthat, go and look at Ted Talks.
There's a psychologist fromIsrael who has put together
a pretty remarkable studyshowing that when people read
the Ten Commandments orread an honor pledge,
that suddenly, they become better people.
They become more honest,
they're less likely to cheat on a test,
and they're less likely to steal.
Having the reminder of theTen Commandments around,
this is actually quite goodand makes us better people.
- Exactly, makes forself government, right?
- Yes it does.
- Throughout history, the church has been
a driving force behind social change.
Today, community driven congregations
are still playing that role.
- In Indianapolis, churchesare building bridges
between neighborhoods and the police
in a community program that builds trust.
Take a look.
- Can we all get along?
Can we get along?
- Division between policein certain communities
is nothing new.
And while many enjoy anamicable relationship
with law enforcement,
social media shines a light
on the division and broken trust.
But in Indianapolis, membersof the faith community
ad law enforcement hopeto exchange vantage points
and walk a mile in each other's shoes.
All thanks to a program called OneCOP.
- The one thing that's really unique
and special about OneCOP,
is that it's really focusedon beat police officers.
These are the people who,
if they're doing their job correctly,
are literally walkingup and down the block.
- [Amber] And it'ssomething this community
sees most every day.
What they don't usually seeis a nun in a police car
or police officers seatedin pews during the week.
Church leaders also get to trytheir hand at being officers,
facing the challenge ofsplit second decisions.
- [Male] For what?
- You're drinking, you're--
- [Amber] The team atOneCOP believes churches
are uniquely positioned tobreak down any walls existing
between the police and thosethey are sworn to protect.
- To walk the streets, Ithink, with a police officer,
would be an eye opening experience.
- [Amber] Pastor Jim Wrightjumped at the opportunity
to be a liaison and perhaps more.
- Introducing them to thecommunity and being a host site
for the community wouldbe a really good way
of connecting the communitywith the police officers
with us as the bridgeand then, Lord willing,
opening up the door to share the Gospel.
- Local law enforcement arealso eager to open doors
and make a good first impression.
If you commit a crimehere in Indianapolis,
you're likely to wind up hereat the Marion County Jail
where you'll be greeted by a member
of the Sheriff's Department.
Local law enforcement arehoping to change all that
and build a relationshipwith the community
before they wind up in jail.
Marion County Sheriff, John Layton,
hopes renewing relationshipscan help cut down
on counter productivecodes like no snitching.
He also wants to create andbuild levels of respect.
- You shouldn't have to fear a uniform,
ever fear a uniform,but please respect it.
- [Amber] While Layton blames social media
for the growing antagonism,
he quickly admits mistakes have been made.
- There are tens ofthousands of police officers
across the United States.
Every now and then one steps out of line.
Sometimes it's a mistake of the head,
sometimes it's a mistake of the heart.
It's such a minusculepercentage of the police
that are out there everyday dodging bullets
instead of sending them.
- Even a few, however,can deepen the divide.
- [Announcer] The 17-yearold lay prone on the pavement
as the shots continued;16 rounds in 14 seconds.
- [Announcer] The aftermathcaptured in graphic video
and streamed live on Facebookby the man's girlfriend.
- In Texas, for example,
tensions remain high afterDallas Police Officer,
Amber Guyger, shot and killed26-year-old faith leader,
Botham Jean, inside his apartment.
Community leaders therequestion why Guyger was able
to stay on the job for solong after the shooting.
Indianapolis crimereporter, Steve Jefferson,
points out if and whenincidents like these happen,
transparency is important.
He's seen it work so far in Indy.
- [Amber] The ongoing relationship,
which still needs a lot of work,
has kept things from beingexplosive here in our city.
- [Amber] He credits programs like OneCOP
and other local faith-based initiatives
for helping to calm things down.
Prevention is key and Jefferson adds
that training goes a long way.
- Our department here in Indianapolis now
actually teaches officers
not let their biases
impact their work on the street.
We all expect to be treateda certain way by the police
and I think them knowing howto de-escalate a situation,
whether it be a traffic stop,
whether it be tryingto ID a young black man
who you think is trespassing.
- [Amber] As a deacon himself,
Jefferson knows the church can play
a major role in building relationships.
- Pastors need to do is take advantage
of their captive audience,
because if they can get the message
to the parents of the children,
then the children can getthe message from the parents.
- [Amber] Sheriff Layton is optimistic
because mutual respect
and basically living by the golden rule
will successfully bring churches,
the community and lawenforcement together.
- We can start respect again,not just for the uniform,
but for the people in those churches.
- [Amber] Amber Strong,CBN News in Indianapolis.
- I applaud the effort andcertainly we've seen results
right here in the city ofNorfolk with a police department,
local clergy partnership andthe clergy actually ride along
and are wearing uniforms that say clergy.
And they're able to de-escalate situations
because people look at themand say, okay, I can trust you.
So often, we do nottrust our police forces
and there are plenty of reasons for that.
And how do we re-establish trust,
how do we re-establish community,
how do we re-establishone nation under God
and not this divided nationwhere you're pre-judged,
primarily based on the color of you skin?
How do we get passed allof this and I don't think
there are any easy solutions.
- With all that bias, too,there has to be civility.
So much of this escalatesout of a lack of civility
that then creates this angstinside of the people involved
on both sides and itjust, it hurts everybody.
It just hurts everybody.
- I also think it's alack of understanding
of the history of it,
where you look at ourConstitutional protections
and at the point of time ofdrafting of that document,
the Three-Fifths Compromisegot put into place
which essentiallydisenfranchised a whole group
of people that you don'teven get to count 'em
for your census.
And then you go through the Civil War,
then you get into the Jim Crow Law,
and then what's called the Black Codes,
which essentially made itillegal to be a particular color.
What did that do to create a culture
within our police forces?
And how does that lingeron where culturally,
we think of a particular groupas somehow being criminal.
That's shown in our stats where 1/3rd
of African American males, age 18 to 35,
are somehow in the system.
They're either beingcharged or they're in jail
or they're on parole.
These are things that,how do we change this?
Well, you've gotta startand we need to start now.
Speaking of community, a smalltown has united in support
of an autistic man at riskof becoming homeless..
Jonathan Charbonneau, a52-year old man living
with Asperger's Syndrome,almost lost his home
due to a significant rent increase.
- The community found outabout Jonathan's rent dilemma
and set up a GoFundMe pagethat's raised close to $40,000.
Jonathan's a localcelebrity in his hometown
of Glen Ellyn, Illinois.
He works to keep thestreets clean and crime free
and he's known for his Superman costume,
which he wears every year inthe fourth of July parade.
Love the community.
- He's a super hero.
- Yes, that's beautiful.
- And the community isbeing a superhero there--
- Absolutely!- standing up, saying yeah,
we're in your camp, Jonathan.
That's a wonderful thing to do.
- That's the way it has to happen.
Coming up, they're best knownas the lovable Leroy Brown
and Cora Simmons from TylerPerry's popular TV show,
Meet the Browns.
David and Tamela Mann share their story
spanning over 30 years.
You don't wanna miss them.
They're coming up next.
Tamela Johnson had a love of music.
David Mann had a natural flair for comedy.
So when a mutual friendintroduced them in high school,
their two worlds were never the same.
- [Narrator] NAACP awardwinning actor and comedian,
David Mann, and Grammyaward winning solo artist,
Tamela Mann, are nostrangers to the limelight.
But it's not what they didin front of the cameras
that has made their relationship last.
With a blended family underone roof and lots of mouths
to feed, the Mann's knewthey had to work together
if their family was going to survive.
In their memoir, Us Against The World,
David and Tamela share whatthey have learned over 30 years
of marriage and how it'smade them stronger than ever.
- Joining me now areDavid and Tamela Mann,
and we thank you for being withus on the Interactive Show.
- Thanks for having us.- Thanks for having us.
- We just got a littlepicture of some of your life
in composite form, but youactually met in high school.
- I was in high school.
Her friend, she wentto a rival high school.
- [Terry] Oh, you wentto different schools?
- Yeah, she went to my rival high schools
which I almost didn'tlike her because of that.
But her friend, her closefriend, brought her to our school
'cause we had a popular choir--
- Ahh.- In the city.
- And so she brought her to come
and sing for a group we had.
Kirk Franklin, myself and Darrell Blair,
and she blew us away.
- And I fell in love withher voice, not her quite yet,
but her voice at least.
- So when did the quite yet happen?
- It was awhile because actually,
I started singing with the guys.
It was three of those guys.
- [Terry] Oh, okay.
- I started singing with themand it was about like he said.
- A couple years.- Year and a half.
- Our friendship developed over time.
- Right.- It was just friends and--
- That is the best way to start, isn't it?
- Yeah, I wound up fallingin love with my best friend.
- Yup.- It is,
because it's like our true foundation,
because friends telleach other everything,
we confide in each other.
- They trust each other.
- Yes, and it's like, no hidden agendas.
- Yup.- And it really worked
for us and it's like,he had all the qualities
that I had kind of writtenout to God of what I wanted
in a husband one day.
- I didn't write mine out, I just seen it.
- That's good.
We'll keep that, yeah.
- Just as well.- Yeah, that's good.
- It just kind of startunfolding and we just start
growing closer and closertogether and here we are.
- You need a solid foundationof friendship like that
to do what you two have done,which is to blend a family.
- [Both] Yes.
- Tell us about your family.
- We come from, we havea super blended family.
We have my oldest daughter,and then we adopted a niece,
Tam's sister passed, andthen we have two together.
- Together.- And we're
a super blended family.
And we, we tell peopleour blend is seamless.
- [Tamela] Yes.
- You shouldn't be able to tell
where the blend starts and ends.
No one should be able to walk in a room
and see who is who.
- That's right.- Who belongs to who.
- And this really, I know,somewhat comes out of your heart
to not have anybody beseen as a stepchild.
- Right, 'cause I grew up as a stepchild
and I know how that felt.
And with me taking in the girls,
I looked at them as being my own.
I didn't birth them buttheir my own and I want them
to feel like they were my own.
And we made no differences for the kids.
- There was an instanceswhen one of our daughters,
she introduced her, Porcia introduced her.
- Yeah, Porcia was like eight years old
and I introduced her as mystepchild and we were leaving,
we had left service,we were leaving church,
and we were in a car and she was like,
"Mama, when you introduce me,
"can you just introduceme as your daughter."
- [Terry] Wow.
- And it really pricked my heart so bad,
and I was like, I said,that'll never happen again.
- [Terry] Yeah.
- And it never happened again.
- Words matter.
- Out of the mouths--
- Of babes.- Words matter.
- Yes, yes.- Wow, words do matter.
- Yeah, they pay attention.
- Yup, that's wonderful,wonderful that you listened.
- [Tamela] Yes.
- So you both come fromincredibly successful,
Everything you've doneyou've done with excellence
so why a book?
- Well, you know, for so manyyears, everybody was like,
when are you guys gonna write a book?
'Cause we've really been mentoring couples
since the beginning of our relationship.
It just kept, and the Lord justkept putting it on my heart
that we really need to dosomething more for family.
- And that's really what this is about.
It's called Us Against TheWorld and that's really
what every couple is pretty much--
- Right, and when we say--- Trying to establish.
- Yes, ma'am; I'm sorryfor cutting you off.
- No, go ahead.
- But we have a story about
how Us Against The World happened,
but Us Against the World is not just
for us as the Mann family.
- Right.- It's for us,
the you means all of us.
- It's us as the--
- Body of Christ.- Yes.
- We're standing andfighting against anything
that would tear down the family structure.
- A big part of what youshare in here is how you
have each other's back in every situation.
You're trying to outdo each other
and doing good for each other.
- And covering each other.
Whenever she's on stage,I'm her biggest cheerleader.
Its a kind of an industry jokethat you can always find me
on the side of the stage ina trance just watching her
like some zombie.
Like people have actuallytaken pictures of me.
It's like, I don't likepeople talking to me
when she's singing.
- Yes.- Right.
- Because I'm tuned in.
I'm like, I wanna make surethat she feels my heart
if she doesn't feel anybodyelse's on the stage.
- And I'm standing onthe side laughing when
he's doing his comedy.
- As if she's never heard the joke.
- And so, but I thinkthat's what really helps
and makes us is we supportone another in what
we love to do and we push each other.
There's no jealousy ofone more than the other
but we're there together.
We built it all from the beginning.
- Can I just ask you,because you had 30 years
of experience of blending andgrowing and staying connected.
You're both on the samewave length and you write
so much about your faith in here.
What do you say to somebodywho's watching us right now
who maybe is unequallyyoked, wants what you have,
but isn't in a relationshipwith somebody who's able to
or willing to give back to them.
- First I ask 'em, okay, doyou guys want the same thing.
'Cause you gotta wanna go the same--
- Yup.- Have the same goals.
- Right.- And so that's,
it sounds elementary,but you sit down and say,
are you guys willing to say, okay,
we wanna be equally yoked.
- Yes.- Because if the answer is no,
you got a problem.
- Where are you gonna go?
- That's true.- Where do yo go?
- That's a hard question.
It's like I don't understand.
The question is as simple as what?
- It's just as simple as just saying that.
Then once both peoplesit down and say yes,
we're willing to do what ittakes, let's pray for direction.
- Because we get this, and I remember,
getting off subject, weget this dreaded S word
that men say to women, submit to me.
- [Terry] Yeah. (laughing)
- And it's the dreaded S word because men,
we've turned that into a dictatorship.
- Yeah.- And we don't give
our house anything to submit to.
We don't give a mission for our house.
So next we have to findout what the mission
for our house and our marriage is.
- [Terry] Oh it's so rich.
- And it made it come, as the woman,
it made it easier becauseyou seen the direction
he was following behind, leading of God,
going to God, asking the Lordwhat's the next steps to take.
So it made it easy for meto follow because it's like,
I know that you'relistening and asking God
to order your steps.
- Somebody's gotta lead, right?
- Yes, yes.- Yes.
- Somebody's gotta lead.
- Somebody has to hear from God.
- Yes, yeah, boy is that the truth.
It's all here.
They've written it for you and for me.
Learn more about theirstory but more about how
it can impact your story.
It's called Us Against The World.
It's available in stores nationwide.
That also happens to bethe name of their album.
This the first one they've done together.
- Yes.- So here you go,
you can enjoy 'em both on the same CD.
Us Against The World, The Love Project.
It's available at Walmart,Amazon, iTunes and Spotify.
Thank you so much.
Rich, wise counsel.
- Thank you for that.- And God bless you.
Thank you for having us.
- We appreciate you bringing it to us.
- Thank you for having us.- Yes, Gordon.
- Still to come, a lonelydivorcee becomes addicted
to an online chatroom.
- It was like being akid in a candy store,
having access to all these men,
inviting them into my bed, into my heart.
I even nicknamed myself thequeen of the one night stand.
- See how this woman wasset free from all that
and much more, right after this.
After 11 years of marriage,
Joanna's husband left herfor a woman he met online.
Not only did that make Joanna angry,
it also made her curious, and soon,
she was frequently onlinechat rooms herself.
Before long, she becamethe self-proclaimed
queen of the one night stand.
- I was spending my privatetime online in the chat rooms
and meeting these men andinviting them into my bed,
into my heart, and livingthis secret life on my own.
And yet, during the day, I washolding down a full time job
and was very responsibleand came across as someone
who really had it all together.
- [Narrator] Joanna grew upbelieving she was unwanted.
Born out of wedlock, shefelt she forced her parents
into a marriage and a family
they wouldn't have chosen otherwise.
- The pregnancy was accidentaland I just translated that
into meaning that Ihadn't been really wanted.
It just kind of reinforcedthat message that
my presence here was sort of a mistake,
that I was an accident.
I really just wanted to be wanted.
I wanted to know thatsomeone had wanted me.
- [Narrator] She longedfor acceptance and rushed
into a marriage when she was 21.
But over the years, Joannaand her husband grew apart.
She noticed he was spendingmore time on the computer.
After 11 years of marriage,she discovered he was involved
in a relationship with a woman he met
through an online chat room.
- I confronted him atthat point and asked him
who he had been talking toand what did she mean to him.
And I remember he told meshe was his new best friend.
That just devastated me.
I mean, I had been marriedto him for 11 years
and I thought I was his best friend.
He was talking to someone 3,000 miles away
who was his new bestfriend and it was happening
under our roof while Iwas in the next bedroom.
It just killed me.
- [Narrator] Joanna andher husband divorced.
Both angry and curious about what
had drawn her husband away from her,
she created an online account.
The chat room conversationswere casual at first,
but became sexually explicit over time.
- It was like being akid in a candy store,
having access to all these men who seemed
far more interesting thanmy first husband had been.
And they were interested in me.
They were interested in what I had to say.
- [Narrator] Joanna becameaddicted to the attention.
- I started to get hungry for that
and was really looking forwardto feeling like that again,
because I had felt so unwantedand tossed away and rejected.
I didn't necessarily wantto get healthy or get better
and recover from the divorce,
I really just wanted tofeel good all the time.
- [Narrator] The conversationsled to in-person meetings
and then sexual encounters.
- I really believed,at that point in time,
that my only real value tomen was as a sexual object.
I even nicknamed myself, thequeen of the one night stand.
I knew deep down inside howempty I was and if someone got
too close and got to know me really well,
they would see that emptiness.
- [Narrator] For seven years,Joanna lived a secret life
of promiscuity and online addiction.
In 2007, she met a man who was a Christian
and began attending church with him.
It was then she was faced with a choice.
- He eventually told methat he was interested
in being with someonewho shared his faith.
I certainly wasn't thatwoman at that time,
but I wanted to be.
I wanted to be with him.
I remember that nightpraying as best I knew how,
and having a conversationwith God and telling Him
that I wanted Him to makeme into the kind of woman
that the gentleman I was datingsaid he wanted to be with.
You know, I had no ideareally what I was asking for.
- [Narrator] The nexttime she attended church,
something was different.
- Everything they saidseemed to make sense.
It was almost like God wasjust giving me these insights
and these revelations justone right after the other.
I realized I wanted todo things God's way.
I realized all of asudden that I was tired
of doing things my way.
I wanted to know what the Gospel meant.
I wanted to know whatit meant to be saved.
- [Narrator] Joanna met with a pastor,
who shared the Gospel message with her.
- I went home afterthat meeting and I read
through the scriptures thatthe pastor had given me.
I turned around, got onmy knees next to my bed
and just started to confess,confess a lifestyle of sin,
I confessed my addiction.
I confessed all the sexual sin,
the years of sleeping around.
The tears came and I wassobbing and just I'm sorry, God.
God met me there.
God met me in that mess and he lifted
that burden and He forgave me.
I remember feeling happy,
happy like I have never been.
I felt giddy almost,and physically lighter
like I was just completelyunburdened from all of that.
- [Narrator] Joannasurrendered her life to Christ
and was delivered from heronline addiction and promiscuity.
And while the relationship
with the Christian man eventually ended,
the acceptance she found in Christ
has been there ever since.
Today she shares her storythrough her book Do-Over,
a testament to the lovethat changed her life.
- Now I know, without a doubt,
I know that God wants me.
I know that I was wantedfrom the beginning of time
by Him and that I am loved by Him.
I literally heard, you are a treasure.
And it was only because of thefact that He had created me.
To have value just because I was here,
because the God of theuniverse knit me together,
because He said I wasfearfully and wonderfully made
and because He had plansand purposes for my life
from the very beginning of time.
There are no accidentsand there are no mistakes
and I am living proof that that's true.
- And you can be livingproof that it's true,
that God has a plan and purpose for you.
Joanna grew up feeling rejected
and that will actually hauntyou, where if you think,
I just don't belong or I'm justnot loved or why am I here,
all of those questions.
And it'll haunt youthrough relationships too.
And then, you'll start lookingfor the rejection to come
and in that search forit, you will find it.
You search for that, you'll get it.
Instead of the acceptance we all long for,
we go through rejection afterrejection after rejection,
always trying to fill that hole.
What can fill it?
The love of God.
He wants to, He made you,
He fearfully and wonderfully made you.
He made you for special purposes.
He created good thingsfor you to walk into.
What does it take to access them?
Just what Joanna did.
She turned her life, shesaid, God I need you now.
Will you forgive me of all thethings that I've done wrong?
Will you set me free fromand if you'll do that,
I will trust and obey,
I will follow you all the days of my life.
I don't wanna live it my way any more.
I wanna live it your way.
If you want help with thisprayer, we're here for ya.
We're not here to judgeyou and we're certainly
not here to condemn you.
We're here to tell youthere's a God who loves you,
who is able to transform youfrom your innermost being
and bring you into arelationship with Him.
All you have to do is call us.
Here's a word from Psalms.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
God bless you.
We'll see you again.