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What Are You Tolerating?

By Valorie Burton
Author and Motivational Speaker What exists in your life right now that isn't quite the way you'd like it to be? You know, those things you put up with that you've been meaning to fix, but haven't?

Perhaps it's the clutter piled up in your office or bedroom or your car. Maybe it's the oil that needs to be changed.  Every time you crank up the car, the red light comes on, reminding you of the chore you keeping putting off. Or maybe it is something bigger—like a home that doesn't meet your needs or a car payment that is too high for your budget. Those things in your life that are out of alignment are more than just annoyances. They actually drain your energy and distract you from what matters most to you.

In life coaching, we call the things you put up with "tolerations." When you have a lot of tolerations in your life, they hinder you from being your best self and accomplishing your goals with ease. Tolerations are like invisible restraints that hold you back.

Imagine for a moment that each toleration in your life is a thin cord bolted to the ground at one end, and tied around your waist at the other. One or two cords would not hold you back from moving forward. But if there were 15 or 20, even 100 cords, you'd eventually become stuck and unable to move forward. Have you felt this effect before? I know I have.

Sometimes, it is essential to stop for a moment and take care of the things that are distracting you or draining your energy. I invite you to ask yourself this question: "What am I putting up with right now?" Make a list of at least five tolerations in your home, work, relationships, and health. Here are a few examples:

  • Messy closets
  • Friendships that are not reciprocal
  • Poor communication with your spouse
  • Appliances that need to be fixed
  • Walls that need to be painted
  • Car needs a tune up
  • Car needs to be cleaned
  • Don't have a church home
  • Need to improve your level of education
  • Don't like your job
  • Not exercising
  • Inadequate salary

Make your list as long you need it to be. Then, one by one, begin taking steps toward eliminating your tolerations. As you eliminate them, notice how good you feel and how your energy is restored. When you seek a more fulfilling, less stressful life, it is critical that you stop having problems and start solving them. Once you do, you free yourself to create a life that serves you well and supports you daily as you move toward the life you truly want.

My challenge to you this week:

Take action! Make a list of the things you are putting up with. Then immediately take action on resolving the ones that distract or drain you most. Ask for help or pay someone to help if you need to.

Journaling assignment:

What is the biggest thing that I am tolerating in my life right now? Why am I tolerating it? What will I do about it and when?

Valorie BurtonA sought-after life coach and speaker, Valorie Burton seeks to inspire people to live more fulfilling, less stressful lives. She is the author of Listen to Your Life, What’s Really Holding You Back?, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, Why Not You? 28 Days to Authentic Confidence, and How Did I Get So Busy?.


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