When Your Teen-ager is Involved in Pornography
By Dr. Don Dunlap
Family Counseling Ministries - A Christian couple seeks Dr. Don Dunlap's advice
when they find evidence that their teen-age son has been downloading
pornography from the Internet. They ask Dr. Dunlap if they have failed
as parents and they express their shock and disappointment that their
son, who claims to be a Christian, would get involved in such sinful
Dear Dr. Dunlap,
We are desperate! Recently, we discovered that our
teen-age son has been downloading pornography from the Internet. When
we confronted him he denied it, but we were able to track the sites
that he has visited. We are certain that he is guilty. Besides feeling
like complete failures as parents, we are heartbroken. We are deeply
disappointed that as a Christian, our son would get involved in such
a thing. What can we do?
Although the Internet is an exciting, fast-growing
medium, the sad truth is that it also is the largest provider of pornography
in the world. Anyone can access it, anytime of day or night, regardless
of one's age, or degree of computer skills.
Faced with the proof that you possess of his involvement
in pornography, your son needs to admit his sinful behavior, and repent
before God, as well as before you. The only way to cleanse his mind
and spirit from the vile images he has viewed is to memorize large
portions of scripture and spend time meditating on God's Word.
Ask God's forgiveness for not having protected
your son more carefully. Then walk in His forgiveness and grace. God
never tires of granting us new beginnings when we come before Him
in genuine repentance. Satan would delight in convincing you that
you have failed your son. Do not give in to the accusations of the
Above all, do not give up on your son. Our hearts
are corrupt and all of us are vulnerable to every temptation that
exists. As his parents, however, now that you are aware of his destructive
activity, you have the responsibility to do everything possible in
the future to guard your son from the evil influences of the world.
There is a product on the market that goes the
extra mile in providing real security for your family. It is called
Net Nanny, and it works with the Internet, BBS's, and all of the online
services, such as AOL, Compu-Serve, etc. Net Nanny runs as a background
program, and monitors everything going out or coming in to your computer.
Let your son know that you will be faithfully and
regularly checking his online activity. Set strict limitations on
his computer usage time. Develop a plan to lovingly hold your son
accountable for how he spends his time. Check out Net Nanny at http://www.netnanny.com/,
or call them direct at 800-340-7177 to order a copy.
Dr. Don Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral
Counselors in the offices of Christian physicians, has conducted over
twenty thousand appointments during his ministerial career. His counseling
practice includes adults, children and families in crisis.
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