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Finding God's Perfect Image

Katie struggled with her body image since childhood, believing lies that she was overweight. She took a journey down a very destructive path from diet pills to starvation to binging/purging. Read Transcript


THERE WAS ONE BOY WHO

PAID PARTICULAR ATTENTION TO

ME.

ONE DAY HE CAME UP TO ME AND

HANDED ME A PICTURE, AND HE

SAID, THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK

LIKE IF YOU DON'T KNOW.

AND IT WAS A PICTURE OF A

GIRL WHO IS EXTREMELY

OVERWEIGHT.

I REMEMBER FEELING

DEVASTATED AND EMBARRASSED.

THE WORD CONTROL IS WHAT

ANOREXIA AND EATING

DISORDERS IS ALL ABOUT.

SO I STARTED TRYING

DIFFERENT DIETS.

I STARTED TO CUT OUT ENTIRE

FOOD GROUPS.

IT BECAME SO OBSESSIVE I

WOULD ONLY EAT A SELECT

HANDFUL OF THINGS.

MY MOM STARTED TO NOTICE

THAT THINGS WERE CHANGING

WITH ME.

I WAS STARTING TO LOSE

WEIGHT, BUT MORE SO SHE

NOTICED MY EATING HABITS.

A HALF OF APPLE SLICE

WOULD BE CUT IN 20 DIFFERENT

SECTIONS.

WHICH REALLY SIGNALLED TO ME

THAT SOMETHING WAS UP.

I REALLY STARTED TO GET

ATTENTION, ESPECIALLY FROM

BOYS AND THINGS, AND I

THOUGHT, WELL, THIS IS

GOOD.

BEING ABLE TO CONTROL MY

WEIGHT WAS SOMETHING THAT

GAVE ME A GREAT SENSE OF

POWER.

IT WASN'T UNTIL WE WERE

PURCHASING A CHEERLEADING

OUTFIT FOR KATIE, AND SHE

WAS IN THE DRESSING ROOM

TRYING IT ON.

I OPENED THE CURTAIN, AND MY

HEART SANK, AND THE REALITY

OF HOW SERIOUS THIS WAS

REALLY HIT ME.

I MISSED ALL OF THE SIGNS.

I REALLY STARTED TO DROP

WEIGHT SO DRASTICALLY THAT

PEOPLE STARTED TO GIVE ME

NEGATIVE ATTENTION.

I JUST GOT VERY DEFENSIVE

AND I THOUGHT, WELL, NOTHING

IS WRONG WITH ME.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD JUST

PRAY DAILY THAT SHE WOULD

FIND HER IDENTITY IN

CHRIST.

BECAUSE I KNEW TRULY THAT

WAS THE ANSWER.

I WOULD NOT ONLY PRAY IN A

SECRET PLACE, BUT I WOULD

PRAY WITH HER.

SO SHE ALWAYS SAW I WAS FOR

HER.

IT FINALLY GOT TO THE

POINT WHERE MY MOM HAD

CONVINCED ME TO GO TO

COUNSELLING AND I NEEDED

HELP.

I DIDN'T EVER REALLY DEAL

WITH THE TRUE HEART ISSUE.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL

WITH MY EMOTIONS, SO I RAN

TO FOOD.

AND, OF COURSE, I FELT

GUILTY AND SO I HAD TO DO

SOMETHING WITH THAT.

I HAD TO GET RID OF IT.

SO I WOULD PURGE.

I FELT COMPLETELY OUT OF

CONTROL AND I DIDN'T KNOW

HOW TO STOP IT.

MY SISTERS, ACTUALLY, WERE

THE ONES THAT CAME TO ME AND

THEY SAID, WE KNOW WHAT

YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF.

IT WAS SEEING MY SISTERS

CRYING AND REACHING OUT

DESPERATELY FOR ME AND FOR

ME TO BE HEALTHY THAT REALLY

KIND OF SNAPPED SOMETHING IN

ME.

AND I REALIZED WHAT I WAS

TRULY DOING TO MYSELF AT

THAT MOMENT.

I REALLY SUBMITTED MYSELF TO

THE LORD.

I JUST POURED OUT TO HIM,

AND I SAID, LORD, WHAT DO I

NEED TO DO TO BE HEALED FROM

THIS AND TURN MY LIFE

AROUND.

THE VERY FIRST SCRIPTURE THE

LORD SHOWED ME WAS ISAIAH

61: 3, WHICH SAYS HE GIVES

YOU A GARMENT.

AND I SAID, LORD, I'M GOING

TO BELIEVE AND TRUST IN YOUR

WORD AND THIS PROMISE TO

ME.

AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO

BRING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

OUT OF IT.

THERE WAS A LOT OF RENEWING

OF MY MIND THAT HAD TO TAKE

PLACE.

BUT AT THAT MOMENT,

PHYSICALLY, I COMPLETELY

ABANDONED ALL OF MY OLD

WAYS.

AND I JUST SAID, I WILL

NEVER GO BACK TO THAT.

AND I NEVER COULD.

THERE IS SO MUCH JOY.

KATIE IS REALLY LIVING LIFE

TO HER FULLEST, AND GOD IS

GETTING ALL OF THE GLORY

BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS

POINTING BACK TO HIM THAT

HER FREEDOM HAS BEEN FOUND

IN HIM.

FOR SO LONG I WAS ALMOST

SCARED OF FOOD.

I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF A

BAD THING.

BUT THE LORD JUST PUT A

DESIRE IN MY HEART TO START

GETTING IN THE KITCHEN AND

LEARNING ABOUT FOOD AND

DIFFERENT WAYS TO PREPARE

IT.

TO KIND OF INTRODUCE ME TO

FOOD IN A NEW, SAFE WAY.

AND JUST MAKE IT ABOUT JOY

AND EVEN BRINGING JOY TO

OTHERS.

EVEN THE WORST OF

CIRCUMSTANCES, IF YOU GIVE

YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD AND

TRUST HIM WERE YO WITH YOUR

LIFE, HE CAN TAKE ANY

SITUATION AND BRING

RESTORATION AND HOPE AND

HEALING.

THAT IS WHAT HE DOES BEST,

THAT IS HIS BUSINESS, IS

RESTORATION.

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