Author and speaker Jenna Quinn shares her story of surviving sexual abuse and how to protect others.
Read Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Jenna Quinn is a child abuse
prevention advocate, speaker,
and author.
She helped implement
Jenna's Law, which requires
sex abuse education in Texas.
Today, similar legislation
has been mandated in over half
of America's schools.
And while she knows all the
statistics about child sex
abuse, her fight
against this epidemic
comes from her own
personal experience.
Jenna was 13 when
her best friend's
father sexually assaulted
her for the first time.
Intense shame, fear,
and withdrawal followed.
Then after three years
of suffering in silence,
she finally broke
free from the abuse
and brought her
tormentor to justice.
In her book, "Pure
In Heart," Jenna
shares her journey
through sexual assault,
from fear to forgiveness.
She gives warning
signs to look for
and offers hope to survivors.
Well, joining me
now is Jenna Quinn.
Jenna, great to
have you with us.
Thank you for having me.
You know, most people
hear the statistic
one in three girls,
one in six boys,
are going to experience
this in their lifetime,
but most of us--
it's so-- I guess it's such
anathema to us that we think,
not my child, not
my grandchildren.
How did this begin for you?
So this really began--
and my story is not
an uncommon story.
Over 90% of the time, a child
is sexually abused by someone
that they know.
But it's not just
someone that they know,
it's also someone
that they trust.
And so perpetrators
use this relationship
as a deposit for
the child's silence.
It's much easier to
tell on a stranger
than it is a family
member or a friend.
You say that you were
groomed by the person that
did this to you.
What do you mean by that?
How did he do that?
So children are groomed and
families are groomed as well.
And so he groomed my
family to trust him.
Establishing relationship
with them and--
Yes, establishing
relationship and oftentimes
these perpetrators,
they will groom.
They look for isolated,
one on one situations
where they can be with
these children alone.
Once this happened to
you, how did it affect you?
How did it change
your personality,
change the way you
thought and felt?
So we do know
that the enemy comes
to steal, kill, and destroy.
And what I experienced
is that, with this crime,
all three are accomplished
in one moment,
because innocence is stolen
and your spirit is crushed.
I felt part of my
spirit was killed.
And then it destroyed my
relationship with myself,
the way I viewed myself,
my relationship with God,
and especially my relationships
with other people.
Just the trust factor
alone would be broken.
You know, building
those walls.
Yes.
In your situation, this was
a very close family friend.
Actually, his family and
your family were very close.
How could it have
been different?
I mean, how-- when someone is
approaching a child like that--
let me start even before
you ask that with,
how did he get you not to tell?
Because that's the first thing
people think-- they think,
well if someone's
doing something wrong,
and it makes you feel
bad, that every child is
going to go tell?
But 2/3 of them don't.
It is, that's right.
2/3 will not.
And this is largely the
most under-reported crime
that we see.
And many times there are
threats and that 90% factor
really plays into why
children don't tell.
Oftentimes, they are threatened.
I was threatened.
And when you're a child
and an adult threatens you,
especially if you feel like
you did something wrong,
you did something to bring that
on-- which is what I thought--
the child will not say anything.
And then there's also
consequences for loved ones.
You know, there's the primary
child that's been offended,
but then there are
secondary victims as well.
The perpetrators have families
of their own oftentimes.
And my parents, the
betrayal, you know,
kids don't want to
disappoint their parents.
Well, there's a shame
factor involved too.
Were you afraid ever
that you wouldn't
be believed if you told people?
I did fear that.
And many children fear--
not this guy.
This person would never
do something like that.
And that's what we hear all the
time with this type of crime.
I mean, these perpetrators
are likable people.
They know how to groom.
They're very strategic.
And when they strike--
Even in the way he talked to
you, about what we are doing
and our problem, sort
of brings you into it
as though somehow you have
fault in the whole process.
Yes.
For a child to work
through all of that
is almost impossible.
What were some of the
ways that you exhibited
that something was wrong?
So the emotional
component was there,
but behaviorally, I changed
in almost every way possible.
I went from being outgoing and
social to withdrawn, depressed.
I had insomnia and night
terrors, awful night terrors.
I would wake up in the
middle of the night, halfway
down the stair landing,
with my hand on the rail
and my heart's beating
out of my chest.
And I would wake up that way.
And I didn't know
how I got there.
So these night terrors
would come upon me.
And the depression and the
suicide, because children
feel there's no way out.
And when you're a child,
especially when you're
a teenager, kids can't wait.
You know, they can't
wait for freedom.
So I have two
questions for you.
What would you say to someone
who might be watching us right
now who was abused as a child
or even is being abused,
but hasn't told anyone yet?
I would say it's so
important for you to tell,
but don't just tell anyone.
Tell someone who is
going to help you.
Silence and shame are
the enemy's weapon
of choice with this crime.
The American Medical
Association has
said that this is a silent
epidemic, because it is truly
the silence that kills.
You know, Psalms 32:3, David
said, when I was silent,
my bones wasted away.
So tell.
Start that process.
And for parents--
they need to talk to
their kids about this.
They do.
Absolutely talk to your parents.
And talk to your
kids about this,
because my parents didn't
know what the signs were.
They didn't know
what to look for.
And so education--
95% of this crime
is preventable
through education.
Want you to know, if you or
someone you know needs help,
you can call the
child abuse hotline.
It's toll-free.
It's 1-800-4-A-CHILD.
And if you want to know
more about Jenna's story--
because there's lots
of wisdom in her book
as well-- it's called
"Pure At Heart."
It's available nationwide.
You know, we need to
get on top of this
and change that statistic.
It's far too great.
Thank you--
Thank you
--for what you do,
for being with us today,
and for sharing your story.