REMEMBERING 9/11

Reflections at Ground Zero

By Hannah Goodwyn
CBN.com Producer

CBN.com – Five years ago, the surreal video millions saw on the news was devastating, but distant from our lives. To some, the September 11th attack was an event forever etched in their hearts because a loved one was killed.

I didn’t lose someone close to me, and I wasn’t near the cities most directly impacted. But, I observantly prayed for our country as it suffered a deep, precise wound. To show my respect for those who died and those they left behind, I traveled to Ground Zero for the fifth-year observance.

Several planned memorial services honored the fallen, but there also were the random moments throughout the day that struck deep within my soul.

With the American flag at half mast, mourners gazed through a metal fence at the site where only the frame of one of the towers still stood in the shape of a cross. Photographs memorializing our loss and response hung near the World Trade Center train station. Police officers from New South Wales marched into the site to pay tribute, and a young woman stood amongst thousands softly playing “Amazing Grace” on her flute. Friends and families wore homemade T-shirts bearing the picture of their loved one.

Walking around the fenced pit where the 110-story twin towers once stood, I saw many things, many people. One middle-aged woman dressed in a beige business suit clutching her purse passed by me. With tears flowing freely down her cheeks, she took deliberate steps facing forward, not looking to a site that represented such loss. I felt ill, like someone had taken my breath away. The pain within her rubbed off on me.

Moments later, when she was long gone, off to her office somewhere in Manhattan’s financial district, thoughts flooded my mind. What happened to her that day? Which of the thousands dead did she mourn for?

Then, it really struck me. She was just on her daily commute to work. Thousands of visitors were walking by a tomb that she was forced to reckon with every weekday morning and evening as she went home. We were faced with the reality of such a loss this anniversary, but she had to endure revisiting the horrors again and again.

And then I kept seeing them. New Yorkers intermingled with us, the outsiders who came from around the world to pay tribute to the dead. Young businessmen rushed passed in neatly pressed suits on their way to the office. Women dressed in their best attire for a grueling Monday. This is probably what it was like the morning of September 11, 2001. That is until 8:46 a.m., when Flight 11 crashed into north first tower at about 490 mph and everything changed.

Islamic terrorists not only took innocent lives in the execution of their terrible crime. They also took a part of the world’s greatest city with them. I’ve heard on more than one occasion that New York just isn’t the same with the towers gone from the island’s skyline.

Beside the missing downtown architecture, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters aren’t with us any longer. No more goodnight kisses for young kids. They have to go to bed without a mother’s comforting words or a father’s hug. Husbands lie in bed without their love beside them at night. Wives awake in the morning to an empty space where he slept for so many years. There are no more chances to kiss their children. Daughters will have to walk down the aisle with out their papas. Sons won’t hear their mama’s voice anymore.

Much like that day five years ago, only a few clouds blocked the bright sun. The wind picked up the dust on the road as we shielded our eyes. I cannot imagine being covered in thick dust and ash as so many were. Firefighters and police officers ran to help those who staggered from their offices to safety. Those who survived heroically saving others that day, now stood proudly, dressed in their finest to pay tribute to their fallen brothers and sisters.

The sounds of bagpipes and drums filled the empty space of the square-shaped hole in lower Manhattan when the ceremony began on Monday morning. Moments of silence quieted the city block at the first hit, the second, at the first tower falling, and when the second crumbled down. A familiar, assuring voice that comforted New York and spoke to the world took the microphone. Former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani in a somber tone said, we should remember “those who innocently went to work that day, and the brave souls that went in after them.”

For hours, the victims’ family members spoke each name. All those within earshot of the loud speakers heard the news that one of the victims was now a grandfather. Fiancées called out the name of their love lost. And a heartbroken wife says she’ll never forget her husband, one of a group of New York City firefighters they call the "Seven in Heaven." After a name was spoken, I repeated it to engrain it in my mind so I wouldn’t forget the loss everyone suffered that Tuesday morning.

Just to hear the names isn’t really enough though. It doesn’t show the world who they were. That’s what makes the America's 9-11 Victims' Memorial Quilt so special. A group of women and men from a Florida-based nonprofit organization crafted a 60-foot quilt memorializing the names and faces of each who died at the towers, in the Pentagon, and on United 93. It was presented to the victims’ friends and family, and a few visitors, last Saturday where the director of the World Trade Center Memorial Museum also announced that they would be honored if the quilt was displayed in the new museum.

I couldn’t hold back the tears from my eyes. The saltiness of my cry left a bitter taste in my mouth and heart. How could people deal with such pain? How could they possibly go on?

That’s when my cry became, ‘God help these people. Be their life-giving source when they are too weak to take another breath. ’

The long list of names were finished as a woman said in an emotional, quivering voice that she hopes future generations never have to endure such a tragedy or stand in such a place ever again.

After the ceremony, hundreds gathered across the street at St. Paul’s Chapel. The historic sanctuary held a Sunday morning service where Army Reservist Sgt. Larry Provost was baptized. Sgt. Provost helped in the rescue efforts at Ground Zero after the attack and wanted to make the anniversary by publicly committing his life to God and the acceptance of his responsibility to be light in darkness.

On Monday after the reading of the names, St. Paul’s had a special 9/11 memorial service where priests and visitors sang hymns glorifying God and prayed for peace. Some people left, while many crowded toward the front of the chapel as priests blessed them with oil.

As I exited, chants of protest soon filled the air as hope met outcries of injustice. Protestors claimed "9/11 was an inside job" at the top of their lungs so all could hear. They were exercising their right to free speech. But can we not set our agendas aside out of respect for those who mourn by letting them do so in peace?

Yes, it’s been five years and most are moving on with their lives. But there is still pain, hurt, confusion, and grief. It will take time for families to heal. In the meantime, as Christians, we should continue to pray. Pray without ceasing for those who experienced such tragic pain because of violence.

As we outsiders remember, we also need to guard ourselves from becoming complacent to the reality our fellow Americans face everyday. The attacks aren’t just one day we need to distantly recall each year. Their lives will never be the same and we shouldn’t ever get sick of hearing about the stories. Guard your heart from becoming calloused and only hearing random letters that make up the names of people you’ve never met.

Honor those who died by remembering there was a face, distinct beloved personality, precious life to each name uttered Monday morning at Ground Zero.

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