Brianna King: Cutting Killed Her Pain
By Audra Smith
The 700 Club
In the words of Brianna King:
“Well I grew up in a Christian family. I was raised in church; I went every Sunday. I was always the little girl carrying around her Bible trying to tell everyone about Jesus.”
“I guess my story all starts when I moved into a new neighborhood. I was about 11 at the time. The day right after I moved in, I met the guy next door. We hung out as good friends for the next two years.”
“When I was 13, he started to show interest in me. He started to like me, make comments here and there. The more time went, the more forward he got with the attempts to hook up with me and to do things.”
“He would ask to play games that I wasn’t comfortable with, with the background I had. I felt like I was in love with him. I felt like he was my world and he was all I cared about. Every night he would get a ladder and come up on my roof. And I would let him in my room; I would pop the screen off. And we would just sit there and talk while my parents were asleep a few feet down the hall.”
“One night, I figured he wasn’t coming over. I went to bed. The window was open but the screen was still on. I woke up around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. He was sitting on my bed kind of on top of me. He had a knife out, he held it up to my throat and he said, ‘If you don’t have sex with me, I’m going to kill you.’”
“Being 13, I believed him.”
“So I gave him what he wanted, and at that moment - my world just kind of collapses around me. Everything I had fought for, everything that I had sacrificed about myself, and who I was, all came down to nothing.”
“I started trying to figure out what I had done wrong. I blamed myself for it. I started hanging out with different people, the wrong the wrong kind of friends. I smoked, I started drinking, going to parties, getting wasted.”
“I started turning to cutting myself because I had too many emotions. Too much going on through my life that I didn’t know how to handle and it became and addiction.”
“My friends, they saw what was happening and tried to get me help and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t want their help. My parents - I thought they were trying to interfere with my life. They didn’t know what had happened.”
“I got really upset with God for what had happened and letting it happen and taking away what I saw was the one good thing in my life.”
“There had been a few times I had tried to practice almost satanic rituals. It got to the point where I would feel or see or sense demons around me. Just really messed my life up and had given it over to the control of Satan and his world.”
“For a few times I would go to church, my parents still made me go, every Sunday with them. My youth pastor started talking about demons. And he started talking about experiences he’d been through and experiences other people had been through. It clicked. I heard what he was saying and I sort of sat up and started paying attention, because it was something I was struggling with.”
“A few days later, I was home alone. I was walking down the stairs and what my youth pastor had said kind of clicked in. Going down the staircase, I just talk to God for the first time in a few years without hatred behind it, and just asked Him to give me a sign that everything is going to be OK, give me a sign that He was still there and that He still cared and I wasn’t alone in this fight.”
“So I went to the back door. I went to open it to walk out on to the deck. I pretty much stopped dead in my tracks. On the deck and the surrounding area were hundred upon hundreds of monarch butterflies in the dead of fall.”
“As I was standing there I knew it was God and I knew it was Him speaking to me and him telling me, ‘It’s OK, I’ve got this. Nothing is greater than Me and there’s nothing I can’t save you from and bring you out of.’”
“So from that point forward, I vowed to try and change my life and I re-devoted my life to Christ. I started going to counselors and church and youth group and really seeking the help that I needed.”
“It took me months to learn to give up the addictions like cutting and to try and learn really from God; who He was and is in my life, rather than all the drinking and the harm I did to myself and all those around me.”
“God was just greater than everything. In His name, all the demons quit bothering me; they quit coming around. I was free from all the ropes I had entangled myself in. You can take everything you’re dealing with and hand it over to Him and He willingly carries it and takes up that cross for us.”
“Everyday there’s just more joy and peace filling me and no longer the feeling of being alone and isolated. But I can now see so much more and I can see the other people around me. I can feel His presence with me every day and it’s just such a wonderful turn around from where I had been in life to where I was. And God showing me what He has for me and where he wants me to go in life.”Can God change your life?
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